Day 2: CHOSEN – Making Right Holiday Choices

Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!

How It Works (via Bullet Points & Videos!)
Day 1: LOVED (+ 2 Vital Questions to Ask NOW)

“I feel lonely during the holidays.”

“I feel as if ‘everyone else’ is together and having so much fun.”

“This Christmas will be the first since the separation /divorce, so I won’t be going to some gatherings (but have to make sure the kids get to them).”

Feeling Left Out

Nobody likes feeling left out.

Our extroverted Sanguines love being the center of attention and Cholerics like orchestrating the action. 

And while our introverted Melancholies and Phlegmatics tend to be drained by people rather than energized, they don’t want to be excluded. They like to be invited, to have the option to decline or to come for a while and then leave when they’re ready.

We want to be wanted.

We need to be needed.

We long to be chosen.

And the good news is:  We already are!

Already Chosen

I am chosen by God: past tense, continuing indefinitely!

I don’t need to ask, “Has God really chosen me?”

He’s made it crystal clear:

“You didn’t choose me. I chose you. 

I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, 

so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, 

using my name.” 

John 15:16

But I do need to ask:  Have I chosen God or have I chosen me?

My answer will be evident in my attitudes and actions.

Choosing the Right Gifts

I love choosing gifts.

I browse catalogs year-round, imagining how much fun it’ll be to watch (for example) my daughter’s face as she opens a gift I’ve picked out just for her.

“Where did you get this?” she’ll gasp in amazement.

“That’s my secret!” I’ll reply smugly. “I saw it and thought of you.”

I’m intentional as I choose gifts, matching a unique item with the special person who will appreciate it most. 

Choosing the Right Attitudes

Sadly, I’m not nearly as care-full about choosing my attitude.

Instead of gauging whether my current state of mind will bless or curse others, I take a one-size-fits-all approach: 

Everyone gets the same “baditude,” like it or not. 

And I don’t even include a gift receipt in case they want to return it!

That's what happens when I choose me.

Choosing the Right Actions

Jesus tells me clearly what kind of “lasting fruit” my attitude and actions will bear when I choose Him:  

I will choose to love others.

Even though each PURSE-onality makes this challenging in their own way:

• Sanguine enthusiasm can inundate.

• Choleric accomplishment can intimidate.

• Melancholy precision can frustrate.

• Phlegmatic calm can irritate.

But I will choose to love others, because I am chosen.

And I won’t dwell on whether others choose me, because I am chosen.

The Greatest Gift

The lyrics to a well-known Christmas song ask, “So what can I give Him?"

The answer:  “I'll give Him my heart.”

It’s a good answer. 

But what might “I’ll give Him my heart” look like, in action, during the upcoming days and weeks?

When I need to love others who make themselves hard to love? those who choose not to choose me?

I will try whispering, “Happy Birthday, Jesus.” 

And because I am chosen, give His love to those I can not love on my own...and to those who choose not to choose me.

I’ll give Him my heart by choosing Him rather than me.

I don’t need to choose me.

He already has.

Your Turn:

• Do you find it hard to love a particular PURSE-onality? Which one and why?

• How might mentally preparing to pray "Happy Birthday, Jesus" when you encounter challenging people during the holidays make a difference for you?

• Anything on your heart!

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TPC "lite": Not My Mess

(Enter this week's drawings via Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post!)

I’m in trouble.

I started photographing “trouble spots” in the garage and got stuck within 10 seconds.

Right here.

Stuck at this stack.

This stack that would not be here if I had my way.

This stack that contains

• a backpack designed to carry our camera, the lenses, and a laptop computer. “We” purchased it right on the heels of our camera (neither of which were in the budget by any stretch of the imagination!) I didn’t think “we” would ever use it, and yet “we” paid...er...an amount with three digits before the decimal (and the first digit wasn’t a 1.)

• a speaker that hasn’t worked for decades. (But it’s going to be fixed just as soon as…)

• a rolling duffel that is broken in 5 places to the point it does not roll. If I even try to use it, I re-injure my back. And yet “we” keep it because it’s a great duffel that we might need…

• two old Bissel spot cleaners, neither of which have worked in years. I bought a brand new Little Green Machine a couple of years ago, which we love (and use!) all the time. (But these are going to be fixed just as soon as…)

Replacing “Baditude”

So much baditude in so little time!

(So much for the idea of “any ‘baditude’ that might crop up during the de-cluttering process”!)

Behind this stack, I hear powerful stories hiding. Stories of

• Choleric anger:  “if I had my way”

• Accusation:  “neither of which were in the budget…”

• Victimization:  “If I even try to use it…”

• Contempt:  “But it’s going to be fixed just as soon as…” and “I bought a brand new...”

The message of all my “baditude”: This. Is. Not. My. Mess.

With God’s Word

On Day 1 of The PURSE-onality Challenge, I wrote about negative self-talk. 

Now I hear how negatively I’m talking to myself about someone else. Right now, it’s my husband.  But I’m an equal opportunity griper!  Get in “my way,” and have I got a story for you...about you!  (And it does not end “happily ever after”!)

(Can't see image? Read Ephesians 1:4 right here!)

I am loved...and so is Daniel. So is every person who does (or doesn’t) do what I don’t (or do) want them to do.

On Day 2, I wrote about believing God when He says that He chose me.

He chose each one of us and gave us freedom of choice. And I’m finding that I do not respect Daniel’s God-given freedom to choose. It’s almost as if I believe my choices are more important than Daniel’s freedom...as if I know better than God. (Which turns out to be a recurring theme of The PURSE-onality Challenge!) 

(Can't see image? Read John 15:16 right here!)

I am chosen...and so is Daniel. Whether or not his choices match mine. 

I need to let go of the “Not. My. Mess.” stories. 

I need to Let God love me...and teach me how to love Daniel despite “the stack.”

I need to let go of my desire to control other’s choices.

I need to Let God choose me...and teach me to respect Daniel’s freedom to choose.

And Gratitude

“When it comes to gratitude, the word that jumped out at me througout the research process is practice…..For years, I subscribed to the notion of an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ 

I’ve since learned that…‘having an attitude’ doesn’t always translate into a behavior…..It seems that gratitude without practice may be a little like faith without works–it’s not alive.”  (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown, pgs. 78-79)

In my journal:

Today I’m praying... 

• to accept that this stack is, in fact, “my mess.”

• for compassion as I recognize–once again!–my judgmental, controlling attitudes.

• for forgiveness for trying to be “mess-free” on my own power.

• for a contrite heart as I seek Daniel’s forgiveness for my disrespectful words and deeds.

• to receive Your love fully and rest in it.

Today I’m watching for…

• an opportunity to thank Daniel for fixing something around the house. 

• an chance to speak Daniel’s love language through an “act of service.”

• a way to show Daniel that after 25 years, I’d choose him all over again.

Today I’m appreciating…

• the prompting to apologize for snapping at Daniel yesterday and the insights about what “triggered” me that I can now bring to You to work through.

• that Daniel chose to sit and listen to me share my discouragement with certain aspects of this school year...without interrupting or trying to solve my problems. 

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Day 2: CHOSEN

Our Give-Away for Today!

Today's give-away is this lovely hand-stamped necklace created by Janelle at Grace Tags.  


After May 10, she'll no longer be taking orders and is offering a 30% discount on all orders 'til then.

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Chosen Last

I was always the last one chosen when we divvied up for teams during recess. 

“I guess we’ll have to have Cheri on our team...” didn’t do much for my self-confidence.

(Not that I blame them. Who wants someone whose athletic skills include catching a soccor ball with her glasses and breaking her thumb while doing the high jump?)

I got used to not being chosen.

I got used to being unwanted.

Un-Chosen

I also got used to being un-chosen by those who had once wanted me.

In junior high, my best friend turned on me overnight. 

When a mutual friend asked her if she felt bad about losing our friendship, she declared, “I’m not losing anything. I’m throwing it away, because that’s what you do with trash.”

Shortly after, my boyfriend traded me in for a newer, more attractive model. 

I was discarded.

Worthless.

Among the Chosen Few

At my first direct sales convention, I got what I’d always wanted: reserved seating.  

A place card with my name on it awaited me at every single meal. 

How I loved not wandering aimlessly, hoping someone would invite me to sit with them. Not sitting at an empty table, wishing someone would join me. 

Finally, I had discovered the secret to belonging: when I worked hard enough, I could sit among the select. 

So for years, I earned the right to belong.

I worked my heart out, making sure that I deserved to be chosen.

But then came the back injury. I qualified for the incentive trip, but just barely. And although Hawaii was beautiful, I received no elite invitations, found no place cards bearing my name, had no seats saved for me. 

Once again, I didn’t deserve to be chosen.

Once again, I didn’t belong.

Chosen Once and For All

(Can't view image? Click here to download John 15:16)

I don't think God could state this more plainly.

And yet, how do we respond?

We work harder, trying to earn the "right" to belong. 

We behave as if commiting our lives to Christ is a qualifying competition, and we must prove worthy of team membership.

In an e-mail this morning, Valarie wrote,“Sometimes I have found myself putting myself down for not doing enough for God.”

Do you see what we’re doing? We’re trying to deserve to be chosen. We’re trying to deserve to become who God says we already are! 

Nothing to Prove

You are wanted. 

You belong.

You are chosen.

Now you choose:

Do you believe Him 

when He says

you are chosen?

If so...

...you can quit trying so hard!

...you can quit being so hard on yourself!

...you can quit being so hard on others!

You have nothing to prove.

Try this today:  When you start feeling like you’re standing on the sidelines, or like you’ve been trashed, or like you need to work your heart out, say out loud:  “It is written, ‘I chose you.’ And I choose to believe what You say!”

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Please leave a comment 

• responding to today’s blog, and/or

• sharing your Day #1-2 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or

• about anything else on your heart!

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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)