Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!
Annoying vs. Hurtful
I try to avoid two kinds of people during the holidays.
The first are those who simply annoy me.
I tell myself, starting weeks in advance, “If they so much as __, so help me, I’m going to _____!”
Not surprisingly, by the time the holiday rolls around, I am so keyed up that I _____ long before they have a chance to __!
This is a petty, immature, attitude issue that I need to take to God.
The second kind are hurtful people.
Now, I know that I can be “highly-sensitive” to unintentional pain. So I must make my own overly-easily hurt-ness a matter of prayer and surrender.
But I also know that some people use the holidays as a chance to violate and victimize others. This is a safety issue for which I must earnestly seek the Holy Spirit’s counsel.
Holiday Hurts Happen
I looked up the words “violate” and “victim” to see which one has the stronger connotation. Neither are cheery words; neither have joyous definitions. But hoping that everybody will just “play nice” during the holidays is naive.
Perhaps today’s post is one you can skim quickly and say, “Oh, this one doesn’t really apply to me!”
And I’m not suggesting that we wallow in holiday hurts.
I am suggesting that we spend some prayerful moments seeking God’s guidance regarding any less-than-safe and outright unsafe people we may encounter.
- break, infringe, or transgress
- break in upon or disturb rudely; interfere thoughtlessly with
- break through or pass by force or without right
- treat irreverently or disrespectfully; desecrate; profane
A “victim” is
- one who suffers from an injurious action or agency
- a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency
- a person or animal sacrificed or regarded as sacrificed
Those are the bad news words.
Thankfully, the good news says
No, despite all these things,
overwhelming victory is ours
through Christ, who loved us.
Romans 8:37 (NLT)
Overwhelming victory is ours!
3 Kinds of Victory Prayers
Now is the time pray victory over potentially pain-full people situations that may occur during the holidays.
1) Pray for a change of heart to change my attitude.
I can make a list (and check it twice!) of the people I know I get irritated with. And I can use my PURSE-onality “gift card” and journal to help me literally re-mind myself of their strengths and focus on reasons for gratitude (rather than fixating on my “baditude”!)
2) Pray for a “thicker skin” to handle the normal bumps and bruises of hanging out with flawed people.
I can write a few go-to scripts that incorporate verses from Days 1-12, which affirm my identity in Christ. This will help me pray-pare, well in advance, to deflect the barbs and jabs that just seem to naturally fly in a room full of flawed human egos.
3) Pray for keen discernment regarding boundaries for myself, my children, and my family.
I can ask God to guide me toward conversations I might need to have prior to the holidays regarding:
- people my children will not be left alone with
- words that may not be spoken in my or my children’s presence (and consequences if they are)
- behaviors I have tolerated in the past that I will not accept this year (ditto)
Loving Impossible People
Most of the “impossible” people I’ll encounter this holiday season will be harmless. I pray that the same is true for you.
And honestly, the most “impossible” person I’ll have to deal with in the upcoming months is the one in the mirror.
I’m so glad that despite all of her issues, overwhelming victory is mine through Christ who is the reason for the holiday season!
Your Turn!
- What kinds of holiday behaviors get on your annoyance nerves?
- Do you tend to be “thin-skinned” or “thick-skinned” in family gatherings when the good-natured joking gets a little out of hand?
- How have you dealt with setting boundaries regarding words or behavior during the holidays?
- What’s one of the funniest holiday memories you can share?
- Anything else on your heart!
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