Showing posts with label VICTORIOUS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label VICTORIOUS. Show all posts

Day 8: VICTORIOUS (+ Heading Off Holiday Hurts)


Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

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Annoying vs. Hurtful

I try to avoid two kinds of people during the holidays.

The first are those who simply annoy me. 

I tell myself, starting weeks in advance, “If they so much as __, so help me, I’m going to _____!”

Not surprisingly, by the time the holiday rolls around, I am so keyed up that I _____ long before they have a chance to __!

This is a petty, immature, attitude issue that I need to take to God. 

The second kind are hurtful people. 

Now, I know that I can be “highly-sensitive” to unintentional pain. So I must make my own overly-easily hurt-ness a matter of prayer and surrender. 

But I also know that some people use the holidays as a chance to violate and victimize others. This is a safety issue for which I must earnestly seek the Holy Spirit’s counsel.


Holiday Hurts Happen

I looked up the words “violate” and “victim” to see which one has the stronger connotation. Neither are cheery words; neither have joyous definitions. But hoping that everybody will just “play nice” during the holidays is naive.

Perhaps today’s post is one you can skim quickly and say, “Oh, this one doesn’t really apply to me!” 

And I’m not suggesting that we wallow in holiday hurts. 

 I am suggesting that we spend some prayerful moments seeking God’s guidance regarding any less-than-safe and outright unsafe people we may encounter.

“Violate” means to
  • break, infringe, or transgress
  • break in upon or disturb rudely; interfere thoughtlessly with
  • break through or pass by force or without right
  • treat irreverently or disrespectfully; desecrate; profane
  • molest sexually

A “victim” is  
  • one who suffers from an injurious action or agency
  • a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency
  • a person or animal sacrificed or regarded as sacrificed

Those are the bad news words.

Thankfully, the good news says

No, despite all these things, 
overwhelming victory is ours 
through Christ, who loved us. 

Romans 8:37 (NLT)
Overwhelming victory is ours!


3 Kinds of Victory Prayers

Now is the time pray victory over potentially pain-full people situations that may occur during the holidays.

1)  Pray for a change of heart to change my attitude.

I can make a list (and check it twice!) of the people I know I get irritated with. And I can use my PURSE-onality “gift card” and journal to help me literally re-mind myself of their strengths and focus on reasons for gratitude (rather than fixating on my “baditude”!)

2)  Pray for a “thicker skin” to handle the normal bumps and bruises of hanging out with flawed people.

I can write a few go-to scripts that incorporate verses from Days 1-12, which affirm my identity in Christ. This will help me pray-pare, well in advance, to deflect the barbs and jabs that just seem to naturally fly in a room full of flawed human egos.

3)  Pray for keen discernment regarding boundaries for myself, my children, and my family. 

I can ask God to guide me toward conversations I might need to have prior to the holidays regarding:

  • people my children will not be left alone with
  • words that may not be spoken in my or my children’s presence (and consequences if they are)
  • behaviors I have tolerated in the past that I will not accept this year (ditto)


Loving Impossible People

Most of the “impossible” people I’ll encounter this holiday season will be harmless. I pray that the same is true for you. 

And honestly, the most “impossible” person I’ll have to deal with in the upcoming months is the one in the mirror. 

I’m so glad that despite all of her issues, overwhelming victory is mine through Christ who is the reason for the holiday season!


Your Turn!
  • What kinds of holiday behaviors get on your annoyance nerves?
  • Do you tend to be “thin-skinned” or “thick-skinned” in family gatherings when the good-natured joking gets a little out of hand?
  • How have you dealt with setting boundaries regarding words or behavior during the holidays?
  • What’s one of the funniest holiday memories you can share?
  • Anything else on your heart!




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TPC "lite": Putting Unused Thank-You Notes to Use (Part 2)


(Welcome to a whole new week of drawings for YOUR choice(s) from these great prizes with several ways to enter each day! Click on the post title above to get to the blog and then scroll down to the Rafflecopter at the bottom of the post, or go to our Facebook page and click the Rafflecopter tab!)


Why don't I write Thank You notes? 

Yesterday, I shared two simple surface reasons. Today, I'm hauling out a couple deeper darker ones. 



I’ve received unwanted notes.
A few years ago, I attended a three-day training seminar. Due to a family crisis, I missed the first day. When I arrived, my three roommates greeted me warmly, and on my bed I saw 3 envelopes with my name on each one. My roommates had each left me a beautiful hand-written note of encouragement and love. There were little gifts for me, too.
How did I respond? 
I panicked.
I had no clue that I was supposed bring notes and gifts! Nobody told me the rules, the protocol! I had nothing to give them!
Mortified, I packed the notes and gifts away, as if hiding them would conceal my rudeness or make my lack of goodie give-aways less glaringly obvious.
I didn’t write an important one.
Month in, month out, I felt the prompting.
Write Mr. B. Tell him how much you appreciated him as a teacher. How much he inspired you to become a teacher. How much you now appreciate his patience with your “baditude” when you were a know-it-all high school student!
Even learning that Mr. B had cancer wasn’t enough to motivate me.
I attended his memorial service.
But I never wrote the note.
Yes, Mr. B knew he was loved by thousands of students.
 
But he never heard it from me.
Replacing Baditude
Yesterday, I identified selfishness as the “baditude of the day.”
Today, I have to admit to a much harder-to-hear term:
egocentricity.
Gently, this means preoccupation with my own internal world.
Bluntly, it means extreme immaturity.  
“megotism” to the nth degree.
In The Art of Thank You, Connie Leas explains, “When I don’t receive a note, I tend to surmise that the recipient was never trained to do so, or is unsure of her writing skills, or has a problem with disorganization or procrastination. Others may conclude that the recipient is not grateful...[that] the ungrateful person is unable to give back ‘a little of the joy that was received or experienced’.”
I was ungrateful for my roommates' kindness because I did not receive their intended joy. I saw the notes and–bam!–my first thought was how badly my lack of gifts reflected on me. 
I never wrote Mr. B because I convinced myself it didn’t matter if he heard from little ol’ (you guessed it!) me.  
Yes, I know selfishness and egocentricity are really loaded words. 
And I loathe using them. 
But if my “baditude” is going to get replaced, I’ve got to pull it out of hiding. 
With God’s Word
On Day 8, I wrote that it’s mission critical that I correctly identify my enemy and employ the only effective weapon:  “It is written…”  
(Can't see image? Click here to read Romans 8:37!)

I am victorious – overwhelmingly victorious! – over “megotism” through Christ.
I need to let go of my false belief that I’m a total loser because of all the notes I haven’t written.

I need to Let God lead me one step at a time to saying–and living–“I’ll care.”
And Gratitude
Practical “How to” advice from Thank You Note Writers, continued:
(Add one more item to #3 from yesterday:  STICKERS!)

4.  What to Write
What message do I want to send?
“I have the perfect card, perfect handwriting, and perfect words; aren’t you lucky you know me?”
or
“I care about you. I am thinking about you. You are important to me.”
Bryan, one of my students, wrote this poignant essay that illustrates the power of saying–and living–“I’ll care” in the face of fear, inexperience, and fatigue. 
I want “I’ll care” to become my living motto.
Jocelyn gave me permission to share her powerful testimony of someone choosing to say–and live–“I’ll care”:
There was a time in my life after the suicide of my brother that little notes saved my life.  Before he died, God placed a very special women in my life who would later be one of His biggest supports to me.  
My whole family was ripped apart, and we were all battling huge amounts of guilt and questioning what we could have done differently to have saved his life. So no one was of any real help to each other.  
This friend of mine started sending me little cards, letting me know that she was thinking of me, and they meant the world.  In my moment of need, when I was holding on by just a thread, I got hope from those cards. I was able to hold on for another day. She didn't know just how much that little drop in the mail meant to my soul.  (Of course, I have shared with her since.)  
God uses us to be his hands and feet. While you might simply be wanting to thank them, you never know how that little note might be just what they need at that exact moment. 


5.  How to write
  • If you’re worried about saying the “right” thing, try writing a “rough draft” either on the computer (faster and easier to spell-check) or by hand (which will help you see how much space it takes up.)
  • Feel free to keep it “short and sweet”! 
  • Type your note, use a pretty font, print it out, cut it to fit the card, and glue it in. I know this breaks every possible “rule,” but for some of us, writing by hand is no longer an option. 
6.  In addition to / instead of Note Cards
I won’t even try to tell you when you “should” or “should not” use these methods. (I’m always thrilled to receive any of them...but I’m no Emily Post!)
  • text messages
  • eMail
  • eCards
  • eCoupons
  • eGift Cards


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Day 8: VICTORIOUS (+ Reason Why #5)


Our Give-Away for Today!

Women on the Edge: Turning Desperate Times Into Desire for God


Are You Teetering on the Edge...Desperate for Change, for Direction, for Purpose?

We all know what it's like to feel dangerously close to the edge at times. Maybe you're already there. On the edge of doing something desperate if something doesn't change. As women we are passionate individuals...traveling down a road desperately seeking something.

Whether we're desperate for love, change, fulfillment, significance or accomplishment, the road of desperation can lead us to devastation - if we follow our own pursuits - or it can lead to liberation - a life full and freeing - if we funnel our passion toward a desire for God and live on the edge for Him.
    Are you ready to start living to your potential and glorifying God? As you do, you'll experience the freedom of living on the edge for God - and loving it!

    Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning writer and speaker, helping women discover strength for the soul. She has more than 20 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
    Why We G.R.I.P.E.

    Continuing our exploration of the 5 goals of complaining+ (via the acronym G.R.I.P.E):

    E = Excuse Poor Performance

    Complaining is a natural language for coming up with excuses.
    Have you ever asked someone, “How are you?” and immediately regretted it because they went on and on about what a bad night they had, how they got no sleep, how terrible they feel, etc., etc., etc.?
    They basically served you notice:  “I’m not planning to be pleasant or productive today; expect nothing from me!”
    Some days, my students come to class sounding like they’re mad at me: complaining about me, criticizing my teaching style, and talking about how much they hate the class.
    And for so many years, I took it personally, wondering what on earth I’d done wrong!
    Then I started paying attention to what days they walked in complaining about me. Any guesses what is happening in class on those days?  A test or a major assigment is due!
    Their complaints aren’t about me as a person but about the fact that their lack of
    preparation is about to be exposed. Thus, the mad scramble for excuses!
    Complaining is a classic Phlegmatic “Get Out of Today FREE!” card.


    Battlefield Life

    Do you ever feel as though your life is just one battle after another?
    You feel this way way for a reason: 
    It is.
    Our lives are battlefields.
    After all, we live in the midst of a war.
    I.D. the Enemy
    I’m no expert on battle plans or strategies of war. But one thing seems obvious:
    It’s mission critical that I correctly identify the enemy.
    I’ve got to know exactly who are the “good guys” and who are the “bad guys.”
    Or I could make some deadly mistakes.
    Making Enemies
    Like many teenagers, I thought my parents were “the enemy” for all the things I wanted to do but they wouldn’t let me do.
    Then I got married at 21, and quickly labeled my exact-opposite-PURSE-onality husband, Daniel, as “the enemy,” fighting him at every turn.
    Once I started teaching, parents who called me at dinnertime and were still chewing me out at bedtime became “the enemy.”
    Students who defied me were “the enemy.” So were students who talked too much. Talked too little. Forgot their homework. Didn’t work during class time.  
    Of course, I’m my own worst “enemy” when I have a cart full of groceries but no wallet, stub my toe for the tenth time, can’t get my hair to do anything, put another dent in the bumper, and forget an important birthday (all on the same day!)
    Even inanimate objects turn into “the enemy” when the printer jams, my GPS updates too slowly, and the toaster oven dies after just three weeks.
    Public Enemy #1
    When I quit demonizing others long enough to take a step back, I remember, “Oh, yeah! We’re all on the same side, here!”
    We all have the same enemy. He’s goes by many disguises and names. One of his favorites is The Accuser.
    • “You are such a terrible daughter for the things you said to your parents and for your disobedient spirit.”
    • “You are the worst thing that could ever have happened to your husband. You bring him dishonor.”
    • “You are a complete fraud of a teacher. Your students hate you and talk behind your back. None of them learn anything.”
    • “You are completely pathetic. You can’t do anything right. Everything you attempt is ruined because you are defective.”
    Silencing the Enemy
    On our own, we have no hope against The Accuser. 

    He can take our strengths and smash them into shards of shame.
    Remember how Jesus responded to the enemy: Did he look around for someone else to blame?
    No. 
    He went straight to the Word of God:  “It is written…”
    Our Don't-Keep-Him-a-Secret Weapon
    (Can't see the image? Click here to download Romans 8:37)

    When I first tried the Complaint-Free challenge six years ago, I had minimal success with strictly behavioral approaches. 
    When I started to complain, I’d tell myself, “No. Stop that!” Sometimes, I’d get so frustrated with myself, I’d scold myself, “Cheri, stop that negativity right now!”
    I came out ahead in a few small battles. But that was all.
    Last year, when I started turning to God’s Word to replace my words of complaint, criticism, gossip, and sarcasm, the war took a turn.
    An obvious turn. Astonishing turn. Miraculous turn.
    It clearly had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with the power of God’s word.
    Now I say, “Jesus, I choose to trust you when you say…” prior to reciting or reading scripture. For me, it’s powerful to interrupt a complaint with the name of Jesus–the Word made flesh–followed by the Word.
    Victory in Christ
    But thanks be to God! 
    He gives us the victory 
    through our Lord Jesus Christ. 
    (1 Corinthians 15:57)
    Try this today:  listen to or read the lyrics to Petra’s “The Battle Belongs to the Lord” and Don Francisco’s “Jehoshaphat”.

    (If you can’t see the embedded video, click here to view “The Battle Belongs to the Lord”)




    (If you can’t see the embedded video, click here to view  "Jehoshaphat")


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    To enter today’s drawing, leave a comment 
    • responding to today’s blog, and/or
    • sharing your Day #1-8 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
    • about anything else on your heart!

    All drawing winners will be announced ASAP!
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    (Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)


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