Showing posts with label comparison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comparison. Show all posts

Day 24: REJOICE (We Share the Same Heart Rate)

Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!



Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)
Day 18: PERSEVERE (+2 Cures for Procrastination)
Day 19: BLESS (Your Feelings Can Help You Choose)
Day 20: BUILDING (20+ Ways to Build with Words)
Day 21: HOLD (Hold Back, Let Go, and Step Up)
Day 22: FRUIT (I Didn't Think...I Was a People-Pleaser!)
Day 23: CLEANSE (A Holiday-Ready Home)


Today's blog comes to you as a vlog (below) or blog (scroll past vlog)!

(Can't view the video directly?  Click here to watch "We Share the Same Heart Rate" on YouTube!)




The Comparison Game

This summer, while traveling, I made a point to get up every morning and spend time on the elliptical in the hotel exercise room.

I was really feeling pretty good about myself. I had trained for a couple of races -- nothing big, but not bad for me! So I wanted to maintain my momentum, keep my body fit, and take good care of my heart.

One morning, I got up at 5:30 and was the only person in the exercise room. I was working away on the elliptical, with some good music on my iPod, feeling good about myself, thinking, Nothing’s going to stop me!  It’s going to be a great day!

Then the door opened, and another woman came in. She looked to be about my age and got on the elliptical next to me. 

I thought Oh, how nice! This is great -- some companionship!

Yeah.  

Until she got going.

Twice my speed!

And it was effortless for her.

I’d been in there for twenty or thirty minutes and was soaked with sweat.  (I am not one of those dainty women who “glistens”!) I did not look attractive.

She had her hair up in a ponytail; I’ve not had enough hair for a ponytail since high school.

Clearly, I was deep into playing the comparison game.

I started thinking, Well, at least I’ve gone farther than she has!

Which lasted for another ten minutes, at which point she lapped me.

At that point, I had no need to stay in the room with someone who made me look bad and feel bad!


Focusing on Heart Rate

I started slowing down to stop, when my eyes fell once more on the digital display on her elliptical.

And I realized that the number on her heart rate monitor matched the number on mine.

So even though she was going faster, and she was going farther than I was, we had the same heart rate.

I thought, Wow. That’s what really matters. Our heart rates. We’re both getting a good workout.

We had different body types. And clearly she was in better shape that I was. But I was still pushing my body within the perimeters of my recommended heart rate.

So I didn’t need to feel bad: she was doing what she needed to get her heart up to that rate, and I was doing what I needed.


Compare or Rejoice

Rejoice in the Lord always. 
I will say it again: 
Rejoice!
Philippians 4:4 (NIV)

It’s so tempting to compare ourselves to each other.

We women do this all the time!

Especially at the holidays. We look to see how others are decorating, what kinds of events they’re doing, how they’re dressing…

You name it, we compare it!

Problem is, comparison destroys my ability to rejoice.

I’d been feeling really good on the elliptical. And even when the woman walked in, it wasn’t her presence that bothered me, it was looking at the numbers on her elliptical that caused me to go from feeling really good to feeling bad about myself.


Heart Rate = Price Paid

Then I got to thinking about “heart rate” in a different way:

We all have the same heart rate.

The rate that has been paid for our hearts is the same.

Jesus paid the ultimate price for my heart, and he paid the ultimate price for your heart.

We all have the same heart rate...and it’s already been paid.

That’s the entire reason we can rejoice all year long!

And especially at the holiday season.


Your Turn:

  • In what areas of life do you find yourself playing the "comparison game"?
  • How might remembering that "we all have the same heart rate" help you navigate difficult relationships this holiday season? 
  • Anything else on your heart!
This Really Got Me Link-up at Rethinking My Thinking

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

A Woman Whose Love Protects

It's Warm-Up Week for October's PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart"!  Here's a handy checklist to make sure you're all ready. (And if you're a blogger, grab the button on the right, let me know you've added it to your site, and I'll add you to my blogroll!)

This week's give-away is for The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. (It's a Gregory Family tradition to have Daniel read this aloud to us every Christmas Eve...and for him to choke up at the end!)  3 names will be drawn -- enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!

 * * * * * 

In yesterday's vlog, I promised to tell you what "A Holiday-Ready Heart" means to me today. I've had some hazy ideas all along, but they sure crystalized today as I spent my early morning time in John 13 and then saw a powerful Facebook status update from Proverbs 31 Ministries!  


The FB Status Update

Today I'll be a woman who protects. Like a roof keeps out rain, I'll cover my loved ones with prayer and love to guard against the world's hurt and rejection. I'll speak the truths of Scripture to them and remind them of their identity in Christ. Yep, today I'll be a woman whose love protects.
(Proverbs 31 Ministries)

I love that last line: “I’ll be a woman whose love protects.”


John 13:34-35

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (NLT)

I love that last line: “everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”


Fashion Magazine Covers and Me

When I was a teenager, a fashion magazine cover could change how I felt. From bad to worse. Sometimes, to way WAY worse. 

I’d stare at the exotic beauty whose flawless face graced the cover and simultaneously (a) loathe myself and (b) long to be her.


Holiday Magazine Covers and Me

Fashion magazine covers weren't the only kind that weilded power over me. As I got older, I responded much the same way to the frenzy of pre-holiday magazine covers. 

To me they’ve screamed, “You are beyond hopeless! You’re a loser wife and mom! You can’t serve hot foods hot and cold foods cold, let alone decorate a house for the holidays, entertain, buy gifts, travel, send cards, etc., etc. etc.!”  

They’ve also whispered, “If you just spend enough money, you can redeem yourself THIS year by doing EVERYTHING you see here. Just imagine -- finally you can put all your past mistakes behind you by doing everything RIGHT this year!”

And so I’d buy the magazines. 

The supplies. 

The ingredients. 

The invitations. 

And by Christmas Eve, I’d have another another pile of half-started projects, a splitting headache and bad mood to match, and (oh joy!) a sky-high credit card bill I didn’t know how to pay.


Going Under Cover for a Holiday-Ready Heart

I long to be "a woman who protects."

I want others to know that I am Jesus’ disciple.

But I can’t give what I don’t have.

I can only give what I do have.

And for too many years, all I’ve had is the dissatisfaction and self-hatred that comes from comparing myself to others' 

  • faces. 
  • bodies. 
  • home decorating. 
  • artsy-craftiness. 
  • kitchen wizardry. 
  • whitened Christmas card smiles. 

So this year, what “A Holiday-Ready Heart” means to me is the fullfillment of my 2012 verse: 

And I will give you a new heart, 
and I will put a new spirit in you. 
I will take out your stony, stubborn heart 
and give you a tender, responsive heart. 

 (Ezekiel 36:26 NLT)
For me, “A Holiday-Ready Heart” means getting rid of the stony, stubborn heart that plays the “you’re-nothing-like-the-magazine-cover” comparison games which make me so miserable. That tells me to just cover up my feelings, paste on a smile, and Fake-It-‘til-I-Make-It. 
“A Holiday-Ready Heart” means receiving the new heart and new spirit Christ’s birth made possible. 
With a brand new tender responsive heart, I will have love to give. 
I will love others.
And I will be a woman whose love protects.
A woman whose love protects.
Now that sounds like “A Holiday-Ready Heart” to me!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Labels: , , , , ,

The Truth I Can't Handle

(August 20-31 I'll be blogging my way through I Blame Eve: Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes by Susanna Foth Aughtmon and giving away a copy each week!  You can enter the drawing via the Rafflecopter at the end of each blog post or right here.)

"The chasm between the life I expected to be mine and my real life threw me like a pro wrestler performing a body slam. I was down for the count and at a loss as to what to do.

 [My counselor suggested that I was] dealing with some very unrealistic expectations.

 I was holding so tightly to my expectations, I couldn't embrace the joy found in the life I'd been given."

Susanna Foth Aughtmon, I Blame Eve:Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes

* * * * * * * * * * 

I read a blog post today that made me want to curl up and cry.

It wasn’t the writer’s fault. She honestly shared her story. She told her truth. 

I couldn’t handle the truth. 

The truth about 
  • how unintentional my parenting has been compared to hers.
  • how messed up my marriage has been compared to hers. 
  • how much “nothing” my life has contained compared to hers.

So much of the pain and regret in my life has been my fault, no two ways about it. I’m learning to take responsibility for my choices and their long-term consequences. I try hard not to think “if only” too often. 


Truth I Can’t Handle

But I still can’t handle the truth.

Not when it’s always 
  • the best-possible-outcome truth.
  • the we’re-always-smiling-with-whitened-teeth truth.
  • the if-you-just-do-it-this-way truth.

This kind of truth makes me feel that if I ever met this writer in real life, I’d have to paste on a plastic smile and talk about the weather, ‘cause we’d have so little in common.

My truth is so disappointing compared to hers. 

In fact, my quarter-of-a-century of marriage and parenting can be easily summed up in two words:

I stayed.


Truth I Can Handle

I can handle truth about 2-year-old tantrums and post-partum depression and going crazy with color-coded organizational systems in an attempt to gain some form of control.

I can handle truth about kids who ditch & fail classes and rushing to the ER only to learn that an “anxiety attack” feels a lot like a heart attack and making To Do lists that rarely result in “Ta Da!” lists.

I can handle truth about doing the best I can at the time, knowing it’s not nearly good enough, and having the proof paraded for the neighbors to gossip about.


The Real Truth

But today, jumping head-first into the compare-and-cry game, I forgot the real truth.

It’s is never about 
  • what I have (or have not) done…
  • what you have (or have not) done…
  • what any blog writer has (or has not) done.

It’s only about what Jesus has done.

Always has been, always will be.

Embrace this truth and embrace the joy found in the life you've been given.

“I am the way and the truth and the life.” 
(John 14:6)
Your Turn:

  • When do you find yourself playing the "compare-and-cry" game? 
  • How do you handle the regretful truths of your life?
  • Anything else on your heart!

     a Rafflecopter giveaway
    Labels: , , ,
    Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)