"The chasm between the life I expected to be mine and my real life threw me like a pro wrestler performing a body slam. I was down for the count and at a loss as to what to do.
[My counselor suggested that I was] dealing with some very unrealistic expectations.
I was holding so tightly to my expectations, I couldn't embrace the joy found in the life I'd been given."
[My counselor suggested that I was] dealing with some very unrealistic expectations.
I was holding so tightly to my expectations, I couldn't embrace the joy found in the life I'd been given."
Susanna Foth Aughtmon, I Blame Eve:Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes
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Truth I Can’t Handle
I read a blog post today that made me want to curl up and cry.
It wasn’t the writer’s fault. She honestly shared her story. She told her truth.
I couldn’t handle the truth.
The truth about
- how unintentional my parenting has been compared to hers.
- how messed up my marriage has been compared to hers.
- how much “nothing” my life has contained compared to hers.
So much of the pain and regret in my life has been my fault, no two ways about it. I’m learning to take responsibility for my choices and their long-term consequences. I try hard not to think “if only” too often.
Truth I Can’t Handle
But I still can’t handle the truth.
Not when it’s always
- the best-possible-outcome truth.
- the we’re-always-smiling-with-whitened-teeth truth.
- the if-you-just-do-it-this-way truth.
This kind of truth makes me feel that if I ever met this writer in real life, I’d have to paste on a plastic smile and talk about the weather, ‘cause we’d have so little in common.
My truth is so disappointing compared to hers.
In fact, my quarter-of-a-century of marriage and parenting can be easily summed up in two words:
I stayed.
I stayed.
Truth I Can Handle
I can handle truth about 2-year-old tantrums and post-partum depression and going crazy with color-coded organizational systems in an attempt to gain some form of control.
I can handle truth about kids who ditch & fail classes and rushing to the ER only to learn that an “anxiety attack” feels a lot like a heart attack and making To Do lists that rarely result in “Ta Da!” lists.
I can handle truth about doing the best I can at the time, knowing it’s not nearly good enough, and having the proof paraded for the neighbors to gossip about.
The Real Truth
But today, jumping head-first into the compare-and-cry game, I forgot the real truth.
It’s is never about
- what I have (or have not) done…
- what you have (or have not) done…
- what any blog writer has (or has not) done.
It’s only about what Jesus has done.
Always has been, always will be.
Embrace this truth and embrace the joy found in the life you've been given.
“I am the way and the truth and the life.”
(John 14:6)
Your Turn:
- When do you find yourself playing the "compare-and-cry" game?
- How do you handle the regretful truths of your life?
- Anything else on your heart!
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