(August 20-31 I'll be blogging my way through I Blame Eve: Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes by Susanna Foth Aughtmon and giving away a copy each week! You can enter the drawing via the Rafflecopter at the end of each blog post or right here.)
"I like pretending I am good. I have trouble looking past people’s sins and caring for them in spite of themselves. It is easier for me to judge than to love. And it is easier to follow my own rules than to listen for God’s direction in my life."
Susanna Foth Aughtmon, I Blame Eve:Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes
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Rule Follower
I’ve never been a rebel.
The closest I came to teenage rebellion was cutting my hair short, buying a bright yellow dress, and wearing clip-on ear rings...all in the same month.
Nope, rebellion just wasn’t my style.
I’ve always been a rule-follower: I hate conflict and thrive on community. And community requires rules.
So...
- I show up early for meetings...and cringe for those who walk in late.
- I toss my own trash...and pick up bottles, wrappers, and bags that litterbugs have dropped on the ground.
- I drive under the speed limit...and try not to feel too smug when the law-breaker who blew past me five minutes ago gets pulled over by a CHP.
For most of my life, I’ve thought that my careful rule-following has protected me from untold dangers. Provided me with the best life available.
But the further I’ve ventured from the grip of Perfectionism, the more I see that I’ve followed many rules stupid.
I don’t mean I’ve followed many stupid rules (although I certainly have!)
I mean that far too often, rule-following has been so automatic that I’ve not bothered to think.
Sign Follower
My brother and I had picked up Starbucks on our way to the movie theater where our spouses were saving seats. We were running a bit late, so we parked and run-walked inside.
As we handed our tickets to the ushers, I noticed a sign that said, in big bold letters, “NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR BEVERAGES ALLOWED.”
“Oh no!” I said, pointing to the sign. “We have to drink these fast or throw them away!
As we handed our tickets to the ushers, I noticed a sign that said, in big bold letters, “NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR BEVERAGES ALLOWED.”
“Oh no!” I said, pointing to the sign. “We have to drink these fast or throw them away!
My brother gave me an I’d Like To Throw You Away look and said,
“We ‘have to’ now because you opened your big mouth. They were going to let us walk right on in with them!”
Duh.
I’d had no prick of conscience; I been in no moral quandary. I’d simply found a rule to mindlessly follow, costing us two perfectly lovely mochas. (And earning me the wrath–okay, the endless teasing–of my brother!)
That’s following rules stupid.
Recipe Follower
For Father’s Day several years ago, I was beyond excited to try a copycat recipe for The Cheesecake Factory’s Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes, one of Daniel’s favorite food.
I followed the instructions for the Salsa Verde, the Pico De Gallo, and the Southwestern Sauce with ease.
But the Tamale Cakes? Nothing but trouble!
The recipe called for 1½ cups of frozen sweet corn. The instructions said (and I quote) to “coarsely puree 1 cup of the frozen corn in a food processor.”
So, I dutifully pulled the bag of corn from the freezer, measured 1 cup, dumped it in the blender, and hit “on.” It made an awful racket, and the puree was really hard to scrape out.
The instructions then said (and I continue to quote) to “combine pureed corn with softened butter, sugar, and salt.”
I used my electric hand mixer, and within seconds, the beaters were clogged with corn puree and hardened butter.
I wrestled with this mixture for the better part of an hour before I got it all blended, pattied, and baked into little cakes.
What went wrong? I followed the rules...er...recipe! Why had it been so hard?
Hard...as in softened butter meeting frozen corn puree.
Duh.
I’d followed the instructions exactly as written, not bothering think through the logistics of (a) trying to puree frozen corn or (b) softened butter reacting to frozen corn puree.
If I’d thought for even half a second, I would have thawed the corn before pureeing it, saving myself a bunch of time and frustration. But I didn’t think. I just followed.
That’s following rules stupid.
Do/Don’t Follower
I won’t tell you stories of all the churchy “do”s I’ve been sure to do and all the churchy “don’t”s I’ve been careful not to do.
I will tell you that all my do-and-don’t following brought me to my 40s joyless, bitter, and resentful.
That’s following rules stupid.
(Worse, that’s Phariseeism, and Christ has things to say about Pharisees that make my brother’s annoyance seem like glee!)
Jesus Follower
Jesus says, "Follow me."
Two simple words.
- Not about “do”s and “don’t”s.
- Not about a recipe.
- Not about a sign.
- Not about rules.
All about a relationship.
Your Turn:
- In what areas are you a rule-follower?
- How have you followed rules stupid?
- Anything else on your heart!