Showing posts with label TRUTH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TRUTH. Show all posts

Day 21: HOLD (Hold Back, Let Go, and Step Up)


Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!


Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)
Day 18: PERSEVERE (+2 Cures for Procrastination)
Day 19: BLESS (Your Feelings Can Help You Choose)
Day 20: BUILDING (20+ Ways to Build with Words)

I sympathize with this “holiday issue” a reader shared:

“Every year, we’re asked about specific wishes, preferences, even needs. And every year,  our specific wishes, preferences, and needs are completely ignored. Why do they even ask?  Why do I still respond?”

Nothing used to make me see red faster than having someone ask for my input...and then disregard it. 

Like asking me what the kids need for Christmas...and then giving them everything but.

A close second was when I give my input because the situation called for it...and it was disregarded.

Like when I’d clearly state, “The kids have had enough sugar for today”...and then I’d walk into the kitchen to find 5th and 6th scoops of ice cream being served to them under the excuse of holiday joy.


Hold Back

When words are many, sin is not absent
but he who holds his tongue is wise.
Proverbs 10:19 (NIV)

Holding my tongue has been deceptively easy for me. 

I thought I was more self-controlled than most people. What I’m just now learning is that I’ve been more of a people-pleaser than most people.

My tongue-holding wasn’t the result of spiritual maturity. 

It was the result of stuffing my true feelings

And numbing myself with food. Shopping. Meddling in other people’s lives.


Let Go

True “holding back” isn’t about stuffing.

It’s about surrendering.  

Confessing and surrendering my emotions to God.
  • My indignation.
  • My frustration.
  • My hurt.
  • My anger.
  • My dismay.
  • My “how-could-they.”
  • My “after all I’ve done for them.”


Evaluating and surrendering the non-deal-breaking circumstances to God.
  • The this-is-such-an-inconvenience.
  • The boy-does-this-ever-irk-me.
  • The I-can’t-believe-they’re-giving-me-this-again.
  • The clearly-nobody-listens-to-a-word-I-say.
  • The why-do-I-even-bother.



Step Up

And then comes the hard part:

setting boundaries.

Which I confess to knowing very little about, because this is an area in which I’ve tried the DIY method for too many years. God’s only just recently gotten permission to come on in and make changes.

I was listening to Lysa TerKeurst’s Unglued message today, in which she points out that peace and truth are frequently paired in scripture. 

One is not complete without the other. 

My so-called “peace-making” -- without truth-telling -- has actually been peace-FAKING.

Holding my tongue while lying about my feelings and lying about my needs has not been wise.

It’s not even Biblical.


Avoiding “Many Words”

I need to set a specific boundary before Thanksgiving rolls around. 

My natural urge is to explain myself until I feel completely understood. Until the other person “sees things from my point of view.” 

So right now, I’m working on surrendering my emotions about the situation to God.

And I’m praying now for the “necessary conversation” that is yet to come. That with no extra words, I will... 
  • ...state my need.
  • ...explain my plan.
  • ...listen.
  • ...surrender my emotions about the situation to God.




Your Turn:

  • How do you tend to respond when your requests are ignored?
  • In what ways have you tried to achieve peace without truth?
  • Anything else on your heart!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)


Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!
 

Love does not delight in evil, 
but rejoices in the truth. 

1 Corinthians 13:6 (NIV)


Each PURSE-onality sees her own "slice" of the truth.

 At the holidays, the

  • SANGUINE might label an event "boring" not because the event was so dull but because her need for fun, approval, and/or attention was not met in the way she had hoped.
  • MELANCHOLY might declare an event a "disaster" not because the event was so bad but because his standards of excellence were marred by imperfections. (After years of asking my husband, "How did it go?" after a gospel quartet or praise and worship band performance, the best he's ever reported was, "I was not altogether displeased.")
  • CHOLERIC might dismiss an event as a "waste of time" not because the event was devoid of value but because according to her schedule and perceived needs, doing what comes next on her to do list would have been a better investment of her time.
  • PHLEGMATIC might consider an event that involves conflict to be "just awful" even if the conflict was friendly and/or resolved itself just fine. (My son doesn't even like to remember family events during which there were arguments, which is tough in a family that's part Armenian and part German!)

One truth:  It's impossible to please everyone during the holidays. 

 The Truth is never relative. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

 But what I see as true and what you see as true may look very different.

 So the point I'm gleaning from 1 Corinthians 12:6 today is that it doesn't matter who is "right" or has a market on "truth."

 What matters is that we love each other, in spite of our differences.

 That is most certainly true!

Your Turn:

  • Describe a time when your perception of "the truth" and someone else's were very different. How did you handle that discrepancy?
  • Do you tend to welcome various "slices" of truth or defend your own against others?
  • Anything else on your heart!


a Rafflecopter giveaway
Labels: , , , , , ,

TPC "lite": Living Buy the Book (Part 2)


1 box of books ready to give away!

In a comment on June 18, Meghan Carver wrote, “I've been following your posts for a month or so and never commented, but this idea has been wiggling around in my mind for a while and you put words to it. 
Do I buy new (and unnecessary) clothes to make me feel better about myself? Do I buy unneeded knick-knacks and (let's be honest) clutter to make me feel better about my home? 
Sometimes the books I buy are truly helpful, but I can look back and see many times when I have bought books because I've been scared of making a decision or because I thought they might contain some magic to improve my life. 
Why is it so hard to find our worth in God?” 
Replacing Baditude
Waiting for a shelf of their own...
This is the bottom line issue for all of the "baditude" hiding behind my "stuff."  
My sense of worth.
Society relentlessly pounds women with messages about where to find worth. And holds up as role models those who accumulate the most and fanciest "stuff"!    
I remember walking into a popular store a few months before Christmas and recoiling at their huge banner proclaiming "The Power to GET!" above the credit card sign-up table. 
The message was crystal clear: What I have is not enough. Who I am is not enough. I need to GET. 
It doesn't matter to the store (or to my adversary!) WHAT I get. Just so long as I GET, GET, GET.
As if I can never get enough.
With God’s Word
On Day 16, I wrote about my urge to replace God by judging others and keeping score.
(Can't view image? Click here to read 1 Corinthians 13:5!)

Love doesn't record-keep!
On Day 17, I wrote about how the stories I tell myself determine my truth.
(Can't view image? Click here to read 1 Corinthians 13:6!)


Love rejoices with the truth.
I need to let go of all the useless emotional records I store with my books.
I need to Let God’s truth–that He wipes my records clean–truly sink in.
I need to let go of the old stories I tell myself as I remember when and why I bought each book.
I need to Let God author a new story; He is the ultimate authority on who I’m meant to be!
And Gratitude
from my journal:
Today I’m praying…
Lookin' spacious!

  • …for Your gentle power to simply let go of books that do not need to stay on my shelves.
  • …for the willingness to pause and rest as I de-clutter.

Today I’m watching for…
  • …other places I go to “find my worth” other than You.
  • …one small area in which I can bless my Melancholy husband with more order and less stuff.

Today I’m appreciating…
  • …the joy of releasing two big boxes of books!
  • …the open spaces on my bookshelves which mirror the opening places in my heart.



Your turn! 
  • What "baditude" has come from using your "power TO GET"? 
  • Behind what clutter do you store emotional records?  keep old stories? 
  • Other thoughts / reflections / insights on today's topic?
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Labels: , , ,

Day 17: TRUTH


Our Give-Away for Today!

Same Life, New Story

Move from what is to what can be by changing how you think and talk to yourself.


Using powerful character studies of ten women from Scripture, as well as modern-day stories from her work as a professional life coach, Bible teacher Jan Silvious helps women choose new stories instead of dumping, or wallowing in, their old lives.


Naomi, Leah, Rahab, Deborah, Hannah, Anna, Jehosheba, Abigail, Naaman's servant girl, and Elizabeth round out the cast of characters who, with their own stories, help readers find new perspectives with amazing results. 


Chapters include:
  • Realize it's time
  • Don't be held hostage by the past
  • Ask yourself good questions
  • Change your "I can't" to "I can"
  • Delete the drama of the day
  • Forget the "What might have beens"
  • Discover the power of wisdom and courage
  • Get past the resistance of fear
  • Choose to bounce back
  • The last chapter has not been written yet


Jan Silvious has been reaching out to women for over 25 years, helping them to live fully and to embrace an intelligent attitude toward life. As a featured speaker at Women of Faith arena events, Jan has encouraged audiences across the country and across every denomination, challenging them to grow into the women God has called them to be. Jan also is a professional life coach, helping people to ‘get from where they are to where they want to be.’ She works with individuals and groups to help them maximize their life skills in dealing with relationships, personal challenges and work-place dynamics. Her life’s work truly is to encourage people to embrace the truth that  ‘changing your perspective changes everything.’

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(Can't view image? Click here to download 1 Corinthians 13:6!)

But what is “the truth”?
Not “The Truth.” 

Just “the truth” in our everyday ordinaries. 
Can you find “the truth,” for example, in the following "Tale of 3 Thunderstorms"?
My Thunderstorm
I’ve stayed up too late. (Again!) As I finally drift off to sleep…
BOOM!
A peal of thunder jolts me awake. 
Sure, the weather channel predicted this. But really? At midnight? Come on! It’s the last month of school.
I. need. my. sleep.
BOOM!
Another crash, right above our house. The wind rattles our windows. Lightening flashes over and over.
In a few minutes, the storm dies down, reduced to the comforting sound of falling rain. I start to drift off again.
BOOM!
Not again?
BOOM!
Yes, again. 
For what feels like hours, two storm fronts battle it out over our house. The noise dies does just long enough for me to start falling asleep before... 
BOOM!
I’m awakened again, adrenaline pumping.
It is a Very. Bad. Night.
Maria’s Thunderstorm
I drag my carcass out of bed with the 5:30 AM alarm (a.k.a. Three cats who want the garage door open now. The same three cats who will soon dash back in, dripping wet and furious that we “threw them out in the rain”!)
I check Facebook and notice that my neighbor Maria has posted about last night’s thunderstorm.  
“Last night’s thunder and lightning storm was amazing. My son and I drove out to the bluff to see the lightning bolts. What a beautiful light show!”
Amazing? Beautiful light show? 
What is she talking about? All that lightening kept me from sleeping! I could see it with my eyes closed!
Someone asked, “Weren’t you scared?” to which she replied
“Oh yeah. I was scared. That was part of the excitement! We even drove to Manresa for a better view. The grand finale was amazing!”
Excitement?

Grand finale?

Amazing?
Clearly I won’t be going to Maria for sympathy today!
Erik’s Thunderstorm
Instead, I turn to my English II students. Certainly they lost sleep to this awful storm! Certainly they will commiserate with me!
“So,” I bait them, “did anyone lose some precious sleep last night?”
A chorus of complaints assures me I’ve turned to the right peeps for support. (Misery sure does love company!)
We all talk at once, gesturing animatedly to emphasize the loudness of the thunder, the brightness of the lightening, and the repeated adrenaline overloads to which we were subjected all night long.
Then Erik, who has not joined the conversation, raises his hand.
“You know, Mrs. G,” he says, fingering his hearing aid, “some people would give anything to hear a thunderstorm at night.”
3 Tales of 1 Thunderstorm
What is “the truth” about this thunderstorm?
That it caused a Very. Bad. Night? 
That’s one perspective.
That it gave a dazzling light show? 
That’s a different perspective.
That it served as a reminder to be thankful? 
That’s yet another perspective.
What is “the truth”?
The Story I Tell Myself
Perspective defines "the truth." 
When I am judgmental, I see only one perspective: mine. My “truth” is limited to the one story I am telling myself: 
The thunderstorm caused a Very. Bad. Night. End of story.
When I am curious, I am open to multiple perspectives. My “truth” expands, allowing for greater creativity:
Next thunderstorm, maybe Maria can pick up me.

(Hey, if I’m gonna miss sleep, I’d rather tell cool stories about lightening than whine about lost sleep!)
And maybe we can swing by Erik’s house so he doesn’t miss out on all the excitement this time.
What is “the truth”?
The stories that prompt rejoicing come closest to “the truth.” 
And bring us closer to The Truth.
Try This Today:  Against the “better” judgment of my perfectionistic tendencies, I invite you to watch this short video I made last year, illustrating in more detail what I mean by “the story I tell myself.” 

(Can’t view the embedded video? Click the link go directly to “The Stories I Tell Myself”) 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Please leave a comment 

  • responding to today’s blog, and/or
  • sharing your Day #1-17 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
  • about anything else on your heart!
The McD's -- you're the winner of Day 6!  
Tara -- you're the winner of Day 10!
e-mail me at cheri@cherigregory.com w/your mailing address! 

All other winners Days 1-11 have been notified & prizes sent.

Winners for Days 12-16 will be drawn and notified Friday!

     * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    (Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

    Labels: , , , , ,
    Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)