Day 17: TRUTH

Our Give-Away for Today!

Same Life, New Story

Move from what is to what can be by changing how you think and talk to yourself.


Using powerful character studies of ten women from Scripture, as well as modern-day stories from her work as a professional life coach, Bible teacher Jan Silvious helps women choose new stories instead of dumping, or wallowing in, their old lives.


Naomi, Leah, Rahab, Deborah, Hannah, Anna, Jehosheba, Abigail, Naaman's servant girl, and Elizabeth round out the cast of characters who, with their own stories, help readers find new perspectives with amazing results. 


Chapters include:

• Realize it's time
• Don't be held hostage by the past
• Ask yourself good questions
• Change your "I can't" to "I can"
• Delete the drama of the day
• Forget the "What might have beens"
• Discover the power of wisdom and courage
• Get past the resistance of fear
• Choose to bounce back
• The last chapter has not been written yet

Jan Silvious has been reaching out to women for over 25 years, helping them to live fully and to embrace an intelligent attitude toward life. As a featured speaker at Women of Faith arena events, Jan has encouraged audiences across the country and across every denomination, challenging them to grow into the women God has called them to be. Jan also is a professional life coach, helping people to ‘get from where they are to where they want to be.’ She works with individuals and groups to help them maximize their life skills in dealing with relationships, personal challenges and work-place dynamics. Her life’s work truly is to encourage people to embrace the truth that  ‘changing your perspective changes everything.’

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(Can't view image? Click here to download 1 Corinthians 13:6!)

But what is “the truth”?

Not “The Truth.” 

Just “the truth” in our everyday ordinaries. 

Can you find “the truth,” for example, in the following "Tale of 3 Thunderstorms"?

My Thunderstorm

I’ve stayed up too late. (Again!) As I finally drift off to sleep…

BOOM!

A peal of thunder jolts me awake. 

Sure, the weather channel predicted this. But really? At midnight? Come on! It’s the last month of school.

I. need. my. sleep.

BOOM!

Another crash, right above our house. The wind rattles our windows. Lightening flashes over and over.

In a few minutes, the storm dies down, reduced to the comforting sound of falling rain. I start to drift off again.

BOOM!

Not again?

BOOM!

Yes, again. 

For what feels like hours, two storm fronts battle it out over our house. The noise dies does just long enough for me to start falling asleep before... 

BOOM!

I’m awakened again, adrenaline pumping.

It is a Very. Bad. Night.

Maria’s Thunderstorm

I drag my carcass out of bed with the 5:30 AM alarm (a.k.a. Three cats who want the garage door open now. The same three cats who will soon dash back in, dripping wet and furious that we “threw them out in the rain”!)

I check Facebook and notice that my neighbor Maria has posted about last night’s thunderstorm.  

“Last night’s thunder and lightning storm was amazing. My son and I drove out to the bluff to see the lightning bolts. What a beautiful light show!”

Amazing? Beautiful light show? 

What is she talking about? All that lightening kept me from sleeping! I could see it with my eyes closed!

Someone asked, “Weren’t you scared?” to which she replied

“Oh yeah. I was scared. That was part of the excitement! We even drove to Manresa for a better view. The grand finale was amazing!”

Excitement?

Grand finale?

Amazing?

Clearly I won’t be going to Maria for sympathy today!

Erik’s Thunderstorm

Instead, I turn to my English II students. Certainly they lost sleep to this awful storm! Certainly they will commiserate with me!

“So,” I bait them, “did anyone lose some precious sleep last night?”

A chorus of complaints assures me I’ve turned to the right peeps for support. (Misery sure does love company!)

We all talk at once, gesturing animatedly to emphasize the loudness of the thunder, the brightness of the lightening, and the repeated adrenaline overloads to which we were subjected all night long.

Then Erik, who has not joined the conversation, raises his hand.

“You know, Mrs. G,” he says, fingering his hearing aid, “some people would give anything to hear a thunderstorm at night.”

3 Tales of 1 Thunderstorm

What is “the truth” about this thunderstorm?

That it caused a Very. Bad. Night? 

That’s one perspective.

That it gave a dazzling light show? 

That’s a different perspective.

That it served as a reminder to be thankful? 

That’s yet another perspective.

What is “the truth”?

The Story I Tell Myself

Perspective defines "the truth." 

When I am judgmental, I see only one perspective: mine. My “truth” is limited to the one story I am telling myself: 

The thunderstorm caused a Very. Bad. Night. End of story.

When I am curious, I am open to multiple perspectives. My “truth” expands, allowing for greater creativity:

Next thunderstorm, maybe Maria can pick up me.

(Hey, if I’m gonna miss sleep, I’d rather tell cool stories about lightening than whine about lost sleep!)

And maybe we can swing by Erik’s house so he doesn’t miss out on all the excitement this time.

What is “the truth”?

The stories that prompt rejoicing come closest to “the truth.” 

And bring us closer to The Truth.

Try This Today:  Against the “better” judgment of my perfectionistic tendencies, I invite you to watch this short video I made last year, illustrating in more detail what I mean by “the story I tell myself.” 

(Can’t view the embedded video? Click the link go directly to “The Stories I Tell Myself”) 

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Please leave a comment 

• responding to today’s blog, and/or

• sharing your Day #1-17 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or

• about anything else on your heart!

The McD's -- you're the winner of Day 6!  

Tara -- you're the winner of Day 10!

e-mail me at cheri@cherigregory.com w/your mailing address! 

All other winners Days 1-11 have been notified & prizes sent.

Winners for Days 12-16 will be drawn and notified Friday!

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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

Day 7: FREE (+ Reason Why #4)

Our Give-Away for Today!

Just Too Busy: Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical

Just Too Busy is the true story of the Kraft family's head-on collision with busyness and the twelve-month experiment that changed their lives. When their children could recite the dollar value meals at McDonalds faster than their times-tables, they knew something was very wrong. So, instead of continuing their bad habits and fitting more into their schedules, they took a year off from all activities and learned how to be a family again. 

In this book, readers will laugh their way to learning the ten tell-tale signs that they are too busy and discover the symptoms for a common disorder known to moms today: A.D.D. (Activity Denial Disorder). Families will find simple ways to guard themselves from the temptation of constant distraction.


Joanne Kraft has a passion for encouraging women. A sought-after speaker, Joanne has been published in Today's Christian Woman, In Touch, ParentLife, Kyria, and P31 Woman Magazine. Her family is in the midst of moving from California to Nashville, TN. "Like" Joanne on Facebook and check out her website! 

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Why We G.R.I.P.E.

Continuing our exploration of the 5 goals of complaining+ (via the acronym G.R.I.P.E):

P = Power

Complaining is a natural language for taking CONTROL of a situation.

You’ve seen it happen. Everyone in a planning group is excited about a new idea that’s gaining momentum.

And then the lone dissenter speaks:  “It will never work!  Whose lame-brain idea was this?”

And what happens to the energy in the room? 

To the overall atmosphere of the planning session?

Swaying others to agree or intimidating people to back down are classic Choleric “I’m-in-control-here” power plays.

Hi, My Name is Cheri...

...and I’m a Control Freak

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who tried to be good.  I grew up knowing all the rules, and wanting to follow them.  

I was a “good girl.”

By my freshman year of high school, everyone expected me to be good, so I decided to aim for perfect scores on every single Geometry test the entire year.  With enormous effort, I pulled this off for two full quarters . . . until, in disbelief, I watched Mr. Vickers red pen mark “minus 1” on my “perfect” test.  I ran from the room, hid behind the gym, and cried for 2 hours. 

Well, that minus 1 may have knocked me down, but I was no quitter.   I decided what I really needed was a 4.0 GPA for all four years of high school.  Wouldn’t that be the ultimate in being a GOOD girl?

A Very Good Girl

In my journal, that October, I wrote: 

I’m expected to bring home good grades -- nobody seems to realize that I DO have to work for them!  They don’t just happen!  

I’ve learned not to expect praise for anything I do, but somewhere inside me the little girl still drops a tear or two when it doesn’t come.  I could let it get me down and just stop trying, but I still have to do my best for me -- a hard taskmaster.  

But, even though I’ve written all this, it doesn’t bother me a lot. In fact, I didn’t realize half of it before it came out of my pen!  I live with it, though at times, I am just a bit wistful.

What started out as a personal challenge became a drive to “succeed” at all cost.  And I defined “succeed” as doing lots of GOOD things and being very GOOD at them:  4.0 GPA, yearbook editor, Student Body Religious Vice President, plus community volunteer work.

Secret Control

What I didn’t know at the time is that my family needed me to succeed -- needed me to be a very GOOD girl.  All I knew was that I had a secret, and it was driving me crazy.

My older brother had “confided” in me that he was doing drugs.  Pot, heroine, cocaine, and others I’d never heard of.  And along with all the sordid details, came the dire warning, “but don’t you dare tell Mother and Daddy!”  That day, I picked up a burden far too great for a 14-year-old to bear.

Night after night I lay awake, wondering if he’d come home safely or if we’d get a knock on the door from a police officer.  Day after day for one long year, I struggled.  Keeping the secret didn’t seem to be what a GOOD daughter would do.  Telling my parents didn’t seem to be what a GOOD sister would do.  I didn’t know what to do, and I had nobody to turn to for help.  I felt so alone.

Finally, during one sleepless night when he still wasn’t home at 3:00 am, I slipped, and the truth came out.  My brother was so angry with me because I wasn’t supposed to tell!  My parents were so angry with me because I hadn’t told them sooner.

In my journal that day, I wrote:  

I really don’t know how to feel or what to do -- I’m sort of dead to it all, now. Somehow it doesn’t effect me, yet it must; I guess I’m shying away from the pain as long as I can.

And then, on a seemingly unrelated subject:  

I’m starting a diet today.

The Control Trap

And did I ever get “GOOD” at that diet.  Over the next year, as the turmoil of my brother’s issues raged loudly in the house, I quietly lost pound after pound after pound . . . and proudly became thinner and thinner and thinner.  My periods stopped.  My hipbones stuck out.  


My entire focus in life narrowed down to being GOOD at this one thing:  losing weight.

Well, I was so “good,” I was admitted to an inpatient Eating Disorder Hospital program with the diagnosis of Anorexia.  Six weeks of therapy, assertiveness training, and nutritional counseling had minimal effect. 

All I’d ever wanted was to be a “good girl,” and I was really good at this weight loss thing.  And I was no quitter!  I was not ready to give it up, yet -- maybe once lost a little more and hit my goal (85 pounds) but not before.

Controlled to Death

One night, after a particularly rough family counseling session -- “rough” because my counselor was once again pushing me to share my feelings with my parents, something a GOOD girl was not going to do -- I opened my Bible, hoping to read myself to sleep.  In Psalm 18, I read:

The cords of the grave coiled around me;

the snares of death confronted me.

This jarred me awake.  I realized this was me!  I was dying.  Anorexia was not just a diet. Anorexia was committing suicide...slowly.

In my distress I called to the Lord;

I cried to my God for help!

Really?!?  There was someone I could go to for help?  I was not alone?  I was in “distress” and I could call to God for help?!

The earth trembled and quaked,

and the foundations of the mountains shook;

they trembled because he was angry.

God’s response was dramatic -- he was angry, but not at me -- he was angry for me!  I read on and found that His version of “help” included lightning bolts, thunder, and earthquakes.  


I was WOWed!  Here was someone I could trust to really take control of my out-of-control life!

 

Rescue

And on that day, 27 years ago, this last line read as a personal note from God to this wistful little girl who just wanted to be good enough to be loved:  

He rescued me because he delighted in me. 

Not because of my perfect performances, not because of my 4.0, not because I was Religious Vice Anything.  

God delighted in me!  

God delighted in me.  

God delighted in me!  

From Very Good Girl to Very Good News

(Can't see image? Click here to download Romans 8:1-2)

The details of your life story no doubt differ from mine.  

Perhaps, in your own way, you’ve tried to be a “good girl." Good enough to be loved.  

Whatever your “once upon a time” has included thus far, God, "the author and finisher of our faith,” loves writing our stories of freedom. 

When we give Him control, our stories no longer dwell on condemnation.

When we give Him control, our stories celebrate belonging.

When we give Him control, our stories overflow with the power of the life-giving Spirit.

When we give Him control, we will have good news to tell and re-tell: our stories of how Jesus has set us free!




Try this today:  Write out your testimony of how Jesus has set you free. Share it by e-mail, on your blog, in our comments, and/or by reading it aloud to someone.

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To enter today’s drawing, leave a comment 

• responding to today’s blog, and/or

• sharing your Day #1-7 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or

• about anything else on your heart!

All drawing winners will be announced ASAP!

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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)