Day 8: VICTORIOUS (+ Reason Why #5)

Our Give-Away for Today!

Women on the Edge: Turning Desperate Times Into Desire for God

Are You Teetering on the Edge...Desperate for Change, for Direction, for Purpose?

We all know what it's like to feel dangerously close to the edge at times. Maybe you're already there. On the edge of doing something desperate if something doesn't change. As women we are passionate individuals...traveling down a road desperately seeking something.

Whether we're desperate for love, change, fulfillment, significance or accomplishment, the road of desperation can lead us to devastation - if we follow our own pursuits - or it can lead to liberation - a life full and freeing - if we funnel our passion toward a desire for God and live on the edge for Him.

Are you ready to start living to your potential and glorifying God? As you do, you'll experience the freedom of living on the edge for God - and loving it!

Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning writer and speaker, helping women discover strength for the soul. She has more than 20 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.

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Why We G.R.I.P.E.

Continuing our exploration of the 5 goals of complaining+ (via the acronym G.R.I.P.E):

E = Excuse Poor Performance

Complaining is a natural language for coming up with excuses.

Have you ever asked someone, “How are you?” and immediately regretted it because they went on and on about what a bad night they had, how they got no sleep, how terrible they feel, etc., etc., etc.?

They basically served you notice:  “I’m not planning to be pleasant or productive today; expect nothing from me!”

Some days, my students come to class sounding like they’re mad at me: complaining about me, criticizing my teaching style, and talking about how much they hate the class.

And for so many years, I took it personally, wondering what on earth I’d done wrong!

Then I started paying attention to what days they walked in complaining about me. Any guesses what is happening in class on those days?  A test or a major assigment is due!

Their complaints aren’t about me as a person but about the fact that their lack of

preparation is about to be exposed. Thus, the mad scramble for excuses!

Complaining is a classic Phlegmatic “Get Out of Today FREE!” card.

Battlefield Life

Do you ever feel as though your life is just one battle after another?

You feel this way way for a reason: 

It is.

Our lives are battlefields.

After all, we live in the midst of a war.

I.D. the Enemy

I’m no expert on battle plans or strategies of war. But one thing seems obvious:

It’s mission critical that I correctly identify the enemy.

I’ve got to know exactly who are the “good guys” and who are the “bad guys.”

Or I could make some deadly mistakes.

Making Enemies

Like many teenagers, I thought my parents were “the enemy” for all the things I wanted to do but they wouldn’t let me do.

Then I got married at 21, and quickly labeled my exact-opposite-PURSE-onality husband, Daniel, as “the enemy,” fighting him at every turn.

Once I started teaching, parents who called me at dinnertime and were still chewing me out at bedtime became “the enemy.”

Students who defied me were “the enemy.” So were students who talked too much. Talked too little. Forgot their homework. Didn’t work during class time.  

Of course, I’m my own worst “enemy” when I have a cart full of groceries but no wallet, stub my toe for the tenth time, can’t get my hair to do anything, put another dent in the bumper, and forget an important birthday (all on the same day!)

Even inanimate objects turn into “the enemy” when the printer jams, my GPS updates too slowly, and the toaster oven dies after just three weeks.

Public Enemy #1

When I quit demonizing others long enough to take a step back, I remember, “Oh, yeah! We’re all on the same side, here!”

We all have the same enemy. He’s goes by many disguises and names. One of his favorites is The Accuser.

• “You are such a terrible daughter for the things you said to your parents and for your disobedient spirit.”

• “You are the worst thing that could ever have happened to your husband. You bring him dishonor.”

• “You are a complete fraud of a teacher. Your students hate you and talk behind your back. None of them learn anything.”

• “You are completely pathetic. You can’t do anything right. Everything you attempt is ruined because you are defective.”

Silencing the Enemy

On our own, we have no hope against The Accuser. 

He can take our strengths and smash them into shards of shame.

Remember how Jesus responded to the enemy: Did he look around for someone else to blame?

No. 

He went straight to the Word of God:  “It is written…”

Our Don't-Keep-Him-a-Secret Weapon

(Can't see the image? Click here to download Romans 8:37)

When I first tried the Complaint-Free challenge six years ago, I had minimal success with strictly behavioral approaches. 

When I started to complain, I’d tell myself, “No. Stop that!” Sometimes, I’d get so frustrated with myself, I’d scold myself, “Cheri, stop that negativity right now!”

I came out ahead in a few small battles. But that was all.

Last year, when I started turning to God’s Word to replace my words of complaint, criticism, gossip, and sarcasm, the war took a turn.

An obvious turn. Astonishing turn. Miraculous turn.

It clearly had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with the power of God’s word.

Now I say, “Jesus, I choose to trust you when you say…” prior to reciting or reading scripture. For me, it’s powerful to interrupt a complaint with the name of Jesus–the Word made flesh–followed by the Word.

Victory in Christ

But thanks be to God! 
He gives us the victory 
through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

(1 Corinthians 15:57)

Try this today:  listen to or read the lyrics to Petra’s “The Battle Belongs to the Lord” and Don Francisco’s “Jehoshaphat”.

(If you can’t see the embedded video, click here to view “The Battle Belongs to the Lord”)

(If you can’t see the embedded video, click here to view  "Jehoshaphat")

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To enter today’s drawing, leave a comment 

• responding to today’s blog, and/or

• sharing your Day #1-8 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or

• about anything else on your heart!

All drawing winners will be announced ASAP!

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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

Day 7: FREE (+ Reason Why #4)

Our Give-Away for Today!

Just Too Busy: Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical

Just Too Busy is the true story of the Kraft family's head-on collision with busyness and the twelve-month experiment that changed their lives. When their children could recite the dollar value meals at McDonalds faster than their times-tables, they knew something was very wrong. So, instead of continuing their bad habits and fitting more into their schedules, they took a year off from all activities and learned how to be a family again. 

In this book, readers will laugh their way to learning the ten tell-tale signs that they are too busy and discover the symptoms for a common disorder known to moms today: A.D.D. (Activity Denial Disorder). Families will find simple ways to guard themselves from the temptation of constant distraction.


Joanne Kraft has a passion for encouraging women. A sought-after speaker, Joanne has been published in Today's Christian Woman, In Touch, ParentLife, Kyria, and P31 Woman Magazine. Her family is in the midst of moving from California to Nashville, TN. "Like" Joanne on Facebook and check out her website! 

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Why We G.R.I.P.E.

Continuing our exploration of the 5 goals of complaining+ (via the acronym G.R.I.P.E):

P = Power

Complaining is a natural language for taking CONTROL of a situation.

You’ve seen it happen. Everyone in a planning group is excited about a new idea that’s gaining momentum.

And then the lone dissenter speaks:  “It will never work!  Whose lame-brain idea was this?”

And what happens to the energy in the room? 

To the overall atmosphere of the planning session?

Swaying others to agree or intimidating people to back down are classic Choleric “I’m-in-control-here” power plays.

Hi, My Name is Cheri...

...and I’m a Control Freak

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who tried to be good.  I grew up knowing all the rules, and wanting to follow them.  

I was a “good girl.”

By my freshman year of high school, everyone expected me to be good, so I decided to aim for perfect scores on every single Geometry test the entire year.  With enormous effort, I pulled this off for two full quarters . . . until, in disbelief, I watched Mr. Vickers red pen mark “minus 1” on my “perfect” test.  I ran from the room, hid behind the gym, and cried for 2 hours. 

Well, that minus 1 may have knocked me down, but I was no quitter.   I decided what I really needed was a 4.0 GPA for all four years of high school.  Wouldn’t that be the ultimate in being a GOOD girl?

A Very Good Girl

In my journal, that October, I wrote: 

I’m expected to bring home good grades -- nobody seems to realize that I DO have to work for them!  They don’t just happen!  

I’ve learned not to expect praise for anything I do, but somewhere inside me the little girl still drops a tear or two when it doesn’t come.  I could let it get me down and just stop trying, but I still have to do my best for me -- a hard taskmaster.  

But, even though I’ve written all this, it doesn’t bother me a lot. In fact, I didn’t realize half of it before it came out of my pen!  I live with it, though at times, I am just a bit wistful.

What started out as a personal challenge became a drive to “succeed” at all cost.  And I defined “succeed” as doing lots of GOOD things and being very GOOD at them:  4.0 GPA, yearbook editor, Student Body Religious Vice President, plus community volunteer work.

Secret Control

What I didn’t know at the time is that my family needed me to succeed -- needed me to be a very GOOD girl.  All I knew was that I had a secret, and it was driving me crazy.

My older brother had “confided” in me that he was doing drugs.  Pot, heroine, cocaine, and others I’d never heard of.  And along with all the sordid details, came the dire warning, “but don’t you dare tell Mother and Daddy!”  That day, I picked up a burden far too great for a 14-year-old to bear.

Night after night I lay awake, wondering if he’d come home safely or if we’d get a knock on the door from a police officer.  Day after day for one long year, I struggled.  Keeping the secret didn’t seem to be what a GOOD daughter would do.  Telling my parents didn’t seem to be what a GOOD sister would do.  I didn’t know what to do, and I had nobody to turn to for help.  I felt so alone.

Finally, during one sleepless night when he still wasn’t home at 3:00 am, I slipped, and the truth came out.  My brother was so angry with me because I wasn’t supposed to tell!  My parents were so angry with me because I hadn’t told them sooner.

In my journal that day, I wrote:  

I really don’t know how to feel or what to do -- I’m sort of dead to it all, now. Somehow it doesn’t effect me, yet it must; I guess I’m shying away from the pain as long as I can.

And then, on a seemingly unrelated subject:  

I’m starting a diet today.

The Control Trap

And did I ever get “GOOD” at that diet.  Over the next year, as the turmoil of my brother’s issues raged loudly in the house, I quietly lost pound after pound after pound . . . and proudly became thinner and thinner and thinner.  My periods stopped.  My hipbones stuck out.  


My entire focus in life narrowed down to being GOOD at this one thing:  losing weight.

Well, I was so “good,” I was admitted to an inpatient Eating Disorder Hospital program with the diagnosis of Anorexia.  Six weeks of therapy, assertiveness training, and nutritional counseling had minimal effect. 

All I’d ever wanted was to be a “good girl,” and I was really good at this weight loss thing.  And I was no quitter!  I was not ready to give it up, yet -- maybe once lost a little more and hit my goal (85 pounds) but not before.

Controlled to Death

One night, after a particularly rough family counseling session -- “rough” because my counselor was once again pushing me to share my feelings with my parents, something a GOOD girl was not going to do -- I opened my Bible, hoping to read myself to sleep.  In Psalm 18, I read:

The cords of the grave coiled around me;

the snares of death confronted me.

This jarred me awake.  I realized this was me!  I was dying.  Anorexia was not just a diet. Anorexia was committing suicide...slowly.

In my distress I called to the Lord;

I cried to my God for help!

Really?!?  There was someone I could go to for help?  I was not alone?  I was in “distress” and I could call to God for help?!

The earth trembled and quaked,

and the foundations of the mountains shook;

they trembled because he was angry.

God’s response was dramatic -- he was angry, but not at me -- he was angry for me!  I read on and found that His version of “help” included lightning bolts, thunder, and earthquakes.  


I was WOWed!  Here was someone I could trust to really take control of my out-of-control life!

 

Rescue

And on that day, 27 years ago, this last line read as a personal note from God to this wistful little girl who just wanted to be good enough to be loved:  

He rescued me because he delighted in me. 

Not because of my perfect performances, not because of my 4.0, not because I was Religious Vice Anything.  

God delighted in me!  

God delighted in me.  

God delighted in me!  

From Very Good Girl to Very Good News

(Can't see image? Click here to download Romans 8:1-2)

The details of your life story no doubt differ from mine.  

Perhaps, in your own way, you’ve tried to be a “good girl." Good enough to be loved.  

Whatever your “once upon a time” has included thus far, God, "the author and finisher of our faith,” loves writing our stories of freedom. 

When we give Him control, our stories no longer dwell on condemnation.

When we give Him control, our stories celebrate belonging.

When we give Him control, our stories overflow with the power of the life-giving Spirit.

When we give Him control, we will have good news to tell and re-tell: our stories of how Jesus has set us free!




Try this today:  Write out your testimony of how Jesus has set you free. Share it by e-mail, on your blog, in our comments, and/or by reading it aloud to someone.

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To enter today’s drawing, leave a comment 

• responding to today’s blog, and/or

• sharing your Day #1-7 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or

• about anything else on your heart!

All drawing winners will be announced ASAP!

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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)