Showing posts with label Overwhelmed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Overwhelmed. Show all posts

FREE "Overwhelmed" eBook from The M.O.M. Initiative!

(Today's blog is a guest post by Stephanie Shott of The M.O.M. Initiative where I'm a contributing member.)


NOW, more than ever, moms need mentoring mommas who are willing to share the gift of themselves!


NOW, more than ever, Titus 2 mommas are ready to step up to the plate and pour their lives into moms!

YOU CAN BE PART OF THE REVOLUTION

OF WOMEN WHO ARE READY AND WILLING TO

TAKE TITUS  2 TO THE STREETS!


BEGIN a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area and begin to change the world, one mom at a time!
We have provided a 6 week experience with 31 stories from real moms who have walked in the shoes of the overwhelmed mom and found hope, healing and victory through walking with God and applying biblical truths to everyday life.
In Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., they share their stories.
Overwhelmed releases on January 7th, and it is our gift to the body of Christ…a FREE resource to help you begin or expand your mentoring ministry. Like Facing Our Fears ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., Overwhelmed gives mentors the tools, the confidence and the support they need to boldly step into their Titus 2 shoes and nurture those mentor/mentee relationships.

THIS IS OUR GENERATION to make a difference for such a time as this.

The M.O.M. Initiative is here for you. To be a “mentoring hub” of sorts. A place where mentors can find resources and support and share their information, so that young moms in search of a mentor can find a mentor in their area, as well as the support and encouragement they need.
NOW IS THE TIME! 
WILL YOU JOIN THE REVOLUTION OF WOMEN WHO ARE WILLING AND READY TO PUT THEMSELVES OUT THERE AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

SIGN UP TODAY and you will receive Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M. 
In Overwhelmed, each story includes reflective questions specifically designed to serve as conversation prompts and help foster the mentor/mentee relationship as you navigate the life of an overwhelmed mom together.

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

  • Schedule a time and place to meet weekly for six weeks.
  • You and the mentee will read through 5 stories each week and be prepared when you meet together each week.
  • As a mentor, you can rest in knowing, this biblically-based resource includes questions at the end of each story that are specifically designed to be a catalyst for conversation. This will give you, as a mentor, the confidence to know you won’t have to worry about that awkward silence that would normally leave you scrambling for something to say.
  • The questions are also written to help you, as a mentor, reflect on your own story and share your failures as well as your successes with the kind of sincere transparency that will assure your mentee that she is not alone and that her mentor isn’t Pinterest perfect either.
  • Your time together is a tool to nurture a relationship that will hopefully last long past the book.

Your Turn:

  • If you're a mother, have you had a mentor? Who? Has it been a formal or informal relationship?
  • Who have been your primary mentors in life (parenting or otherwise)? What vital lessons have you learned from your mentor(s)?
  • Anything on your heart!



Coming in January!

Click here --> to sign up
to receive Cheri's FREE eBook when it releases!


Looking for a simple way to keep scripture close at hand?

Click HERE for full details!

31 laminated cards in an organza draw-string bag...
images and word spacing designed to enhance memory

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When Type A Needs Plan B (+ Home Management System eBook!)


My friend and fellow blogger, Kayse Pratt, just released a fabulous eBook Getting It Together: Your Guide to a Home Management System that Works! Details on how to get your copy -- including FREE -- are at the end of today's blog post! 

Lying flat on my back was not how I’d planned to spend my 10th Mothers’ Day.

But it was my only option.  Standing and sitting were out of the question. Even lying down, I was still in excruciating pain.

Monday morning...Tuesday morning...Wednesday morning... Each day I woke up expecting the pain to be gone. 

Instead, it persisted.

Then worsened.

Finally, by the end of the week, I saw a doctor who said I must have pulled a muscle while working out at Curves the previous week. He prescribed a muscle relaxant and a narcotic pain-killer, which finally gave me some oh-so-welcome relief.

But each time the medication wore off, several times a day, the pain returned with a vengeance.

I tried heat. I tried cold packs. Nothing helped.



Descent into Helplessness

As the days and weeks passed, my hopes that “this too shall pass” faded and a dismal sense of helplessness descended.

The one constant in my life became pain. Everything else drifted to the sidelines: my hobbies, my job, my husband, even my children.

Oh, in the early days, I tried valiantly to keep all my plates spinning: my home-base business, my half-time teaching, my marriage, my 10-year-old daughter, my 8-year-old son.

But the pain was overwhelming.

It wasn’t just the pain I was experiencing in any given moment that overwhelmed me. It was the cumulative effect of so many nights of pain gnawing away at me and so many heart-breaking mornings of nerve-splitting pain being my wake-up call.

I could not escape the pain. I was utterly at its mercy.


Out of My Control

One well-meaning friend urged me to claim Philippians 4:13–"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"–insisting that I’d be healed instantly if I just believed.

But the pain continued.

My entire life had changed without warning, without my permission, without any preparation. And that helpless feeling--of being completely out of control--was even worse than the physical pain.

It took six months for me to finally see a specialist who diagnosed me with a fractured vertebra and two herniated discs. Who sent me to physical therapy where God’s angels on earth taught me how to strengthen my core and brought me back from the brink of desperation.

It took a full year for me to break the narcotic dependency I hadn’t even been warned was a possibility. (Dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of codeine addiction is an overwhelmed story all its own!)


It Took This Injury...

It took this injury for me to realize that a major weaknesses of my Type A personality is my lack of Plan B thinking.

When I was out of commission, I discovered how dependent my home, my children, and my husband all were on Mom.

Oh, they could “make do in a pinch” when I got sick for two or three days a year. In fact, they rose to the occasion like heroes when it was clear that Mom needed a down day.

But when it came to the weekly and monthly routines of
•       planning the menus
•       doing the grocery shopping
•       stocking up on basics
•       paying the bills
•       buying school clothes
•       making sure homework was getting done and piano was being practiced
•       making food for potlucks
•       having the cars serviced
•       RSVPing for a birthday party (and then buying the gift and arriving on time!)
and all the other things they’d were used to me managing for them, they were as overwhelmed as I by my incapacity.

And it took this injury for me to realize how much of a human doing–rather than human being–I’d become.  I actually felt smug, initially, when I saw how helpless my family was without me.  See how much they need me?  They can’t live without me!

But as months passed, my husband and children rose to the challenge. And I learned (albeit reluctantly!) to relax and let them take care of everything...including me.
Lessons Learned

 Two vital truths have stayed with me in the twelve years since my injury:

1)  I needed a Plan B. 

My husband needed to know how to find access information to our various online accounts. My children needed to know how to plan a week’s worth of meals and then grocery shop for the ingredients. If life comes to a screeching halt when I’m unavailable, I’m parenting for dependency not maturity!

As Kayse says in Getting It Together, "Creating a Home Management notebook, where all of your important information is compiled ONCE and left in a permanent location, brings freedom to your life. You can hand the notebook over to the sitter (or hubby) and trust that they have every piece of information they need. You can enjoy a date night without that back-of-your-mind worry that you forgot something. Freedom. Doesn’t that sound amazing?"


2)  My Plan A always needs to be Psalm 46:1

         God is my refuge and strength,
         an ever-present help in trouble.


Click Here!

Getting It Together includes…

  • The top 5 reasons why you need a home management system.
  • A step-by-step tutorial on creating your own home management binder.
  • 30 printables that you can put to use immediately!
  • Kayse's witty sense of humor. 

Want to get your hands on it right this second? There are a few ways…

  1. Purchase Getting It Together as a PDF! For just $3.99, you can immediately download the book and start using the printables. Easy peasy! Click here to buy now.
  2. Purchase Getting It Together for your Kindle! Also just $3.99, you can get this wirelessly delivered immediately. This version includes a link to the printables, so that you can download the PDFs onto your computer and print them off. Click here to buy now.
  3. Get it for FREE for signing up for my monthly newsletter! Exclusive content, publishing updates, and a free eBook… what else could you want?
     By subscribing to Kayse's newsletter, you will receive an email with a link to download the PDF version of the book for free! Click here to subscribe now.

Your Turn!
  • When have you found yourself suddenly in Plan B (or C or D or...!)?
  • If something were to happen to you today, what would your family be unable to do without you? 
  • Anything else on your heart!


Coming in January!

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Why I Yelled at a Friend (+ What I Shoulda Done Instead)


I yelled at a friend on Monday.

 Yes, he was the reason three students were late to class...
  • ...by 15 minutes...
  • ...on a timed AP essay day...
  • ...so they lost 50% of their time.

 Yes, we've agreed not to hold students after chapel. That getting straight to class, on time, is of utmost importance.

 Yes, I had a right to be disappointed. My kids had invested their time writing outlines ahead of time. I'd invested my time reading and responding to their outlines. I had high hopes that they'd do well.

 But none of these are the real reason.

 I yelled at a friend on Monday because
  • I have a son who turned 20 on Thursday, and 20-year-olds are not supposed to shoot anyone ever.
  • I have a daughter who was in first grade just yesterday and is now researching graduate schools that offer Fine Arts programs, but little Emilie Parker never will.
  • I overheard my students refer to two of my hardest-working colleagues as "lazy" and "inefficient" last week and I keep thinking If they say that about them, what on earth do they say about me?!?
  • I thought that by now, I'd be over the issues that plagued me in my 20s and 30s, but lately it feels like the harder I work the worse I get. I'm so astronomically high maintenance, I can't possibly be worth the upkeep or the collateral damage.

I yelled at a friend on Monday because I forgot how quickly I "max out" when strong emotions are coming at me from all sides.

 I yelled at a friend on Monday because with so much going wrong, I needed something -- anything! -- to turn out all right.

 If you're feeling close to yelling at a friend...or a spouse or a child or a parent...over something that's gone wrong, here's what I learned on Monday:  
Yelling at a friend won't make anything all right.

(I know, I know:  "No duh!")

I should have yelled for my Friend before I got in over my head.

(Fortunately, it's not too late!)
I love you, Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.

The cords of death entangled me;  the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice;  my cry came before him, into his ears.

The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.

Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.

He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew;  he soared on the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.

He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy, with great bolts of lightning he routed them.

The valleys of the sea were exposed  and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, Lord, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 18:1-19



Your Turn!
  • Have you found yourself unusually "on edge" or reactive this week? If so, how have you dealt with it?
  • What is your go-to scripture when things are going wrong and you need to re-mind yourself of the One who makes everything all right?
  • Anything else on your heart!



Coming in January!

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Day 18: PERSEVERE (+2 Cures for Procrastination)


Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!
Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)





A few days ago, after I’d finally gotten started on a project I’d been putting off for days, I texted my daughter, “The worst part of any task is avoiding it.”

She responded, “IT IS. UGH. Avoidance is actually SO anxiety-producing but it doesn’t relieve or resolve any of my fears!”


Procrastination’s False Promises

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8a (NIV)

One of my biggest obstacles to persevering is procrastination.

It promises me, “Oh, hang out with me! I’ll take your pain!”

And then it stabs me in the back.

Ever. So. Slowly.


The Procrastination Cycle

Here’s how I experience procrastination:

A.  I say “yes”

This is the point of great CONFIDENCE.

As a Sanguine, I do this for the fun!  A Melancholy may say “yes” to make sure things are done right.  For a Choleric, it may be the challenge. For a Phlegmatic, it may be a sincere desire to help.


B.  I get Busy (life happens)

For a Sanguine, this means that I’m probably forgetting all about the commitment. 

A Melancholy has it on her calendar, but current projects are taking longer than they should to get “just right.” 

The Choleric is probably adding more and more to their load because people keep asking and they keep volunteering. 

The Phlegmatic is trying, probably quite successfully, not to think about the commitment at all.


C.  I panic

ANXIETY strikes.

Suddenly, the deadline looms. I realize I can’t possibly fulfill my commitment in the way I agreed to fulfill it. I can’t possibly feel the way I had planned to feel about it.

This is where the Sanguine is likely to call and cancel, often with an elaborate story of how much she wishes she could, how bad she feels about not, etc., etc., etc.  Or she may call in the reinforcements and get a bunch of hard-working friends and family members to "rescue" her.

The Melancholy can’t imagine backing out and is likely to do whatever it takes––lost sleep, lack of meals, raging headache––to do what she promised. She’s likely to hyper-focus on some details that may not even matter to anyone else, so all her self-sacrifice will go unnoticed.

A Choleric will figure out the bottom line of what absolutely has to be done and plow through it, often leaving a wake of hurt feelings to which she is utterly oblivious. The goal was to get it done, and she got it done. The end.

Our Phlegmatic may disappear altogether. Stop responding to e-mails. Let the phone ring. Anything to avoid facing anyone until the deadline has actually passed, and it’s too late for anything to be done. 


D.  I feel relief

Regardless of PURSE-onality, once the deadline is past, we feel some form of relief. 

The Sanguine may become extra bubbly and happy. 

The Melancholy may resolve to “do better next time.” 

The Choleric has moved on. 

The Phlegmatic is just glad the pressure is off. 


The Danger of Relief

The danger of Point D on the Procrastination Cycle is that the feeling of relief gives me a sense of -- you guessed it! -- CONFIDENCE!

And where’s the point of CONFIDENCE on the cycle?

Oh, back at Point A: I Say Yes.

So instead of truly learning a lesson, I’m back where I started.

Flooded with adrenalin, determined to have my fun / perfection / achievement / peace, I commit once again, and the not-so-merry-go-round starts all over again.


Procrastination Cure #1:  Six Questions

Six vital questions:  
Why? Am? I? Doing? This? Now?  

I’ve blogged about these before:  

Part 1: Why? Am?

Part 2: I? Doing?

Part 3: This? Now?

Ask these before making a commitment. Or A.S.A.P. after making a commitment. 

You may discover this is something you should not do at all...or at least not now.

Realizing that you need to say “no” or that you need to back out sooner rather than later is Cure #1.


Procrastination Cure #2:  10 Minutes on the Elliptical

All summer long, Daniel and I had this lovely routine of getting up, spending an hour in our chairs by our bay window with our Bibles, exercising for 45+ minutes, and having breakfast together.

Then the 2012-2013 school year hit. With a vengeance.

I was so exhausted by the second day, I could barely get out of bed, let alone exercise for 45 minutes.

But I did something I’ve never done before:  I committed to spending 10 minutes on the elliptical. 

Every day.

No, it wasn’t the 45-60 minutes I’d been doing during the summer.

But it also wasn’t 0.

After five weeks of 10 minutes a day, I finally had the energy to start building back up to 15, then 20, then 25, then 30, and I’m back on my way to 45.

What’s amazing is how valuable just 10 minutes really has been.
  • I kept my chronic back pain at bay.
  • I kept my muscle tone. 
  • Most importantly, I kept my identity as a woman who perseveres intact.


I believe that every commitment we make has its own equivalent of “10 minutes on the elliptical.”  

Some small step of progress. One today. Another tomorrow. A third the next day. 

Anything we do to keep avoidance from creeping in and procrastination from taking hold is Cure #2.


Persevering Through Holidays and in Relationships

Cure #1 can apply to our holiday commitments and our relationships: 
  • Some of them we don’t know how we even got into.
  • Some of them we really don’t need to be involved in. 
  • Some of them we need to get out of. 


Cure #2 can also apply to holiday commitments and our relationships:
  • We can do something every day to move forward.
  • We can do SOMEthing rather than NOthing to keep us (or get us!) out of the all-or-nothing trap.
  • We can experience the joy of persevering rather than the pain of procrastination.


Your Turn:

  • Does any stage of the Procrastination Cycle sound familiar?
  • Which cure seems most timely for you?
  • Anything else on your heart!




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