Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!
Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)
The danger of Point D on the Procrastination Cycle is that the feeling of relief gives me a sense of -- you guessed it! -- CONFIDENCE!
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)
A few days ago, after I’d finally gotten started on a project I’d been putting off for days, I texted my daughter, “The worst part of any task is avoiding it.”
She responded, “IT IS. UGH. Avoidance is actually SO anxiety-producing but it doesn’t relieve or resolve any of my fears!”
Procrastination’s False Promises
[Love] always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8a (NIV)
One of my biggest obstacles to persevering is procrastination.
It promises me, “Oh, hang out with me! I’ll take your pain!”
And then it stabs me in the back.
Ever. So. Slowly.
The Procrastination Cycle
Here’s how I experience procrastination:
A. I say “yes”
This is the point of great CONFIDENCE.
As a Sanguine, I do this for the fun! A Melancholy may say “yes” to make sure things are done right. For a Choleric, it may be the challenge. For a Phlegmatic, it may be a sincere desire to help.
B. I get Busy (life happens)
For a Sanguine, this means that I’m probably forgetting all about the commitment.
A Melancholy has it on her calendar, but current projects are taking longer than they should to get “just right.”
The Choleric is probably adding more and more to their load because people keep asking and they keep volunteering.
The Phlegmatic is trying, probably quite successfully, not to think about the commitment at all.
C. I panic
ANXIETY strikes.
Suddenly, the deadline looms. I realize I can’t possibly fulfill my commitment in the way I agreed to fulfill it. I can’t possibly feel the way I had planned to feel about it.
This is where the Sanguine is likely to call and cancel, often with an elaborate story of how much she wishes she could, how bad she feels about not, etc., etc., etc. Or she may call in the reinforcements and get a bunch of hard-working friends and family members to "rescue" her.
The Melancholy can’t imagine backing out and is likely to do whatever it takes––lost sleep, lack of meals, raging headache––to do what she promised. She’s likely to hyper-focus on some details that may not even matter to anyone else, so all her self-sacrifice will go unnoticed.
A Choleric will figure out the bottom line of what absolutely has to be done and plow through it, often leaving a wake of hurt feelings to which she is utterly oblivious. The goal was to get it done, and she got it done. The end.
Our Phlegmatic may disappear altogether. Stop responding to e-mails. Let the phone ring. Anything to avoid facing anyone until the deadline has actually passed, and it’s too late for anything to be done.
D. I feel relief
Regardless of PURSE-onality, once the deadline is past, we feel some form of relief.
The Sanguine may become extra bubbly and happy.
The Melancholy may resolve to “do better next time.”
The Choleric has moved on.
The Phlegmatic is just glad the pressure is off.
The Danger of Relief
The danger of Point D on the Procrastination Cycle is that the feeling of relief gives me a sense of -- you guessed it! -- CONFIDENCE!And where’s the point of CONFIDENCE on the cycle?
Oh, back at Point A: I Say Yes.
So instead of truly learning a lesson, I’m back where I started.
Flooded with adrenalin, determined to have my fun / perfection / achievement / peace, I commit once again, and the not-so-merry-go-round starts all over again.
Procrastination Cure #1: Six Questions
Six vital questions:
Why? Am? I? Doing? This? Now?
I’ve blogged about these before:
Part 1: Why? Am?
Part 2: I? Doing?
Part 3: This? Now?
Ask these before making a commitment. Or A.S.A.P. after making a commitment.
You may discover this is something you should not do at all...or at least not now.
Realizing that you need to say “no” or that you need to back out sooner rather than later is Cure #1.
Procrastination Cure #2: 10 Minutes on the Elliptical
All summer long, Daniel and I had this lovely routine of getting up, spending an hour in our chairs by our bay window with our Bibles, exercising for 45+ minutes, and having breakfast together.
Then the 2012-2013 school year hit. With a vengeance.
I was so exhausted by the second day, I could barely get out of bed, let alone exercise for 45 minutes.
But I did something I’ve never done before: I committed to spending 10 minutes on the elliptical.
Every day.
No, it wasn’t the 45-60 minutes I’d been doing during the summer.
But it also wasn’t 0.
After five weeks of 10 minutes a day, I finally had the energy to start building back up to 15, then 20, then 25, then 30, and I’m back on my way to 45.
What’s amazing is how valuable just 10 minutes really has been.
- I kept my chronic back pain at bay.
- I kept my muscle tone.
- Most importantly, I kept my identity as a woman who perseveres intact.
I believe that every commitment we make has its own equivalent of “10 minutes on the elliptical.”
Some small step of progress. One today. Another tomorrow. A third the next day.
Anything we do to keep avoidance from creeping in and procrastination from taking hold is Cure #2.
Persevering Through Holidays and in Relationships
Cure #1 can apply to our holiday commitments and our relationships:
- Some of them we don’t know how we even got into.
- Some of them we really don’t need to be involved in.
- Some of them we need to get out of.
Cure #2 can also apply to holiday commitments and our relationships:
- We can do something every day to move forward.
- We can do SOMEthing rather than NOthing to keep us (or get us!) out of the all-or-nothing trap.
- We can experience the joy of persevering rather than the pain of procrastination.
Your Turn:
- Does any stage of the Procrastination Cycle sound familiar?
- Which cure seems most timely for you?
- Anything else on your heart!
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