I yelled at a friend on Monday.
Yes, he was the reason three students were late to class...
- ...by 15 minutes...
- ...on a timed AP essay day...
- ...so they lost 50% of their time.
Yes, we've agreed not to hold students after chapel. That getting straight to class, on time, is of utmost importance.
Yes, I had a right to be disappointed. My kids had invested their time writing outlines ahead of time. I'd invested my time reading and responding to their outlines. I had high hopes that they'd do well.
But none of these are the real reason.
I yelled at a friend on Monday because
- I have a son who turned 20 on Thursday, and 20-year-olds are not supposed to shoot anyone ever.
- I have a daughter who was in first grade just yesterday and is now researching graduate schools that offer Fine Arts programs, but little Emilie Parker never will.
- I overheard my students refer to two of my hardest-working colleagues as "lazy" and "inefficient" last week and I keep thinking If they say that about them, what on earth do they say about me?!?
- I thought that by now, I'd be over the issues that plagued me in my 20s and 30s, but lately it feels like the harder I work the worse I get. I'm so astronomically high maintenance, I can't possibly be worth the upkeep or the collateral damage.
I yelled at a friend on Monday because I forgot how quickly I "max out" when strong emotions are coming at me from all sides.
I yelled at a friend on Monday because with so much going wrong, I needed something -- anything! -- to turn out all right.
If you're feeling close to yelling at a friend...or a spouse or a child or a parent...over something that's gone wrong, here's what I learned on Monday:
Yelling at a friend won't make anything all right.
(I know, I know: "No duh!")
I should have yelled for my Friend before I got in over my head.
(Fortunately, it's not too late!)
I love you, Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.
The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.
He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.
He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.
He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy, with great bolts of lightning he routed them.
The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, Lord, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
Psalm 18:1-19
- Have you found yourself unusually "on edge" or reactive this week? If so, how have you dealt with it?
- What is your go-to scripture when things are going wrong and you need to re-mind yourself of the One who makes everything all right?
- Anything else on your heart!
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