Showing posts with label BUILDING. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BUILDING. Show all posts

Day 20: BUILDING (20+ Ways to Build with Words)


Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!


Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)
Day 18: PERSEVERE (+2 Cures for Procrastination)
Day 19: BLESS (Your Feelings Can Help You Choose)
When I was little, my father always used to say to me, "Thank you for choosing me to be your Daddy." 

I always replied, "Daaaaa-deeee..." because, of course, he made NO sense.

But I love it to this day when he says it!

Oh, the power of the words that come out of our mouths!


Only What is Helpful

This is a tall order. 

If the words coming out of my mouth are going to be “only...helpful” during the holidays, I have got to be practicing now.

Since my mind often goes blank right when I need just the right words, here are some ideas for practicing “only what is helpful” words.


Building Others Up

When I survey women prior to speaking at a retreats, 60% or more say they love hearing (or would love to hear):
  • You are a blessing in my life.
  • I/we appreciate you.
  • I see God working in you and through you.
  • What would I/we ever do without you?
  • I/we need you.
  • I am so glad you are my _______. (daughter, wife, mother, etc.)
  • You are gifted. / You are talented.
  • I love listening to you.
  • You can do it!
  • You mean the world to me.
  • You’re made such a difference in my life.


According to Their Needs

These particular affirmations receive about 40% votes, probably because they are PURSE-onality specific:
  • You are so much fun!  (Sanguine)
  • You are such a good organizer / planner.  (Melancholy)
  • You are such a good leader. (Choleric)
  • You are such a peaceful person to be with.  (Phlegmatic)


Benefit Those Who Listen

I asked my friends on Facebook to share words that have built them up. Here are some responses:

  • Of course, it so nice when people tell us that they appreciate us or recognize when we are working hard....expressions of gratitude go a long way. I think that when loved ones also quote God's word and encourage me with scripture, it is truly affirming and uplifting.
  • This morning I wrote an email to my husband because I was overwhelmed with homeschooling and asked if I could purchase something (I rarely spend money) and he wrote "I support you!" I started crying because I needed just that!
  • "You communicated that very well," or, "you're very articulate."
  • You are more than capable.
  • I love your ideas!
  • "Remember, you are weak, but HE IS STRONG!" I've been repeating this to myself over and over all week…
  • "Would you just listen?" Said in a frustrated tone, but they were words I needed to hear. I've tried to remember that lesson.
  • My child you worry too much. I've got this....love God.
  • Romans 8:28 is my blessed assurance verse.
  • When I get down on myself, which is often, my husband always gets this sad little boy look on his face and says, "But...you're my sweetie!" Now, I imagine Jesus saying the same thing to me.
  • Believe it or not these words: "Gina, everything that happens to you is not about you" by the pastor of ed/admin that I reported to when I was going through a season of uncertainty. Sometimes we experience things that God uses to do a work in someone else, like our spouses, etc.
  • Rom.8:28 (reminding myself that even though I may not understand that truth now, it will be true at the end)
  • Just this week someone said to me, "No matter how crummy a day I've had, you can always make me smile--then make it into a laugh! How do you do that? Never mind, I just love that you do." That just made me "Tickled Pink"!
  • I go back to "Search from Significance," by Robert S. McGee, which I first studied in 1990. "I have great worth apart from my performance, my appearance or what others think of me. Because God sees me thru Christ's shed blood, I am fully pleasing, totally accepted and unconditionally loved." This has gotten me thru many, many tough seasons!
  • Knowing that Jesus wept. He felt grief & heartache, too, even though He knew the master plan and that all was going to be okay. It's okay to cry.


Your Turn:

  • What words have built you up? With whom can you share these same helpful, beneficial words?
  • Which words above do you find especially powerful? To whom can you say them today?
  • Anything else on your heart!

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TPC "lite": Losing vs. Blessing

Would you be willing to give me your input on a new PURSE-onality project? 
Take this survey, and I'll send you your choice of my CDs for free!


Replacing Baditude
"Blessing Bins" ready to go to church!
On Friday, I had an epiphany: I’ve been focusing on loss. 
I’m losing my beloved books.
Yes, I’ve tried to “gently” force...er...nudge myself through these necessary losses. 
But it’s still been all about loss.

  • De-cluttering.
  • Giving away. 
  • Getting rid of stuff.
All about what I will no longer have.
Loss.
But Friday, a new idea showed up via Luke 6:28: 
Bless.
And I started thinking entirely different thoughts:

  • Who can I bless with my books?
  • How can I be a blessing to others by sharing of my abundance?
  • How can my “too much” solve their “not enough”?
With God’s Word
On Day 20, I shared Florence Littauer’s “Silver Boxes” message about building others up with our words.
(Can't view image? Click here to read Ephesians 4:29!)
On Day 21, I wrote about learning to hold my tongue by holding God’s word in my heart and, ultimately, saying “yes” to His invitation to simply hold me.
(Can't view image? Click here to read Proverbs 10:19!)


I need to let go of my urge to build up a store of so-called “treasure” here on earth and devote my energy to building up the people in my life.
I need to Let God fill my life so much that I “consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” (Philippians 3:8)
I need to let go of the stuff I hold and practice, instead, holding God’s word until it’s the first thing to come to mind.
I need to Let God hold me when I feel like reaching for more stuff to comfort me.
And Gratitude

New bookshelves in women's class at church!
from my journal:
Today I’m praying…

  • … to quit building for myself; it never lasts.
  • … to quit holding onto things; they always disappoint.
Today I’m watching for…

  • … for more "stuff" that will bless those who need it and will use it!
  • … opportunities to build Jonathon and Daniel.
Today I’m appreciating…

  • … that holding my tongue is less difficult/painful than it was two months ago.
  • … do-overs for when I blow it like I did this morning!


Your Turn! 
  •  How might the difference between "loss" and "bless" applying to your de-cluttering of stuff and baditude?
  •  How might you change how you "build" and/or "hold"? 
  • Other thoughts / reflections / insights on today's topic?

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Day 20: BUILDING


Our Give-Away for Today!

Silver Boxes: the Gift of Encouragement



Today's guest post comes courtesy of my Personality Training mentor, Florence Littauer. 


Florence's take on Ephesians 4:29 is one of my all-time favorite stories. 


Here it is, in her own words: (The link leads to a 45-minute online audio.)


It was a Sunday morning in a traditional old New England style church, the kind where people come early to get back row seats. As I sat relaxed and grateful that I had one Sunday when I wasn’t scheduled to speak, I heard the pastor say, “I see that Florence Littauer is in our congregation this morning, and I think it would be nice if she came up and gave us a few words.”


Never at a loss for words, I stirred in my seat. As I started to rise, the pastor added, “In fact, why don’t we have Mrs. Littauer give the children’s sermon.”


I had never given a children’s sermon, and I thought to myself, There’s a big difference between saying a few words and delivering a children’s sermon.


What was I going to say? I sent up a “Lord help me” prayer as I walked forward, and instantly Ephesians 4:29 came to mind. The youngsters filled the empty front rows, and I turned to stand before them.


“This morning I’m going to teach you one verse that I taught my children. Do you think you could learn one verse?” They all nodded happily, and I was pleased that they were so responsive.


“Whenever we study a verse, we want to ask ourselves three things: what does it say, what does it mean, and how does it apply to me today?”


I then stated the verse: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).


When I asked if anyone knew what that verse meant, they all shook their heads. 


“Let’s take it apart,” I suggested. “What is communication?” They gave quick answers: talking, saying words. 


“What is corrupt communication?”


A boy of about ten replied with a twinkle, “Bad words.”


“That’s right,” I said, “God does not want us to let any bad words come out of our mouth. What does he want us to say? Words that are good and that will edify. What does it mean to edify?”


Deep looks came over their faces as they wondered what it  meant to edify. One girl spoke up. “Does it mean to build up?”


“That’s perfect,” I said enthusiastically. “We are not to say bad words but good words that will build each other up. Now what does it mean to minister grace?”


We discussed the fact that to minister is to serve and give to others. One of the older children spoke up and said, “We learned in Sunday school that grace is God’s unmerited favor.” The others looked at her as if she were speaking a foreign language, but I congratulated her and amplified her statement. “That’s great. Grace is a gift we didn’t necessarily deserve.”


I then went on to explain that Paul wrote this verse to the church in Ephesus because he had heard that the nice people were saying unkind things about each other. Even though they were good Christians, they were saying bad words, and he had to give them some advice about what should come out of their mouths. He had to tell these well-meaning people to stop dropping bad words on each other and start giving out messages that would build each other up and do others a favor. 


“Is it possible,” I asked, “that some of the good families in this church occasionally say things to each other that are not kind?”


The eyes of thee little ones grew big, and some even nodded yes, it was possible.


“Let’s see now how this one verse applies to you and me. We’ve taken it apart to find out what it really teaches; we’ve seen what it meant to those ancient people in Ephesus; now what does it say to us good church-going people seated here today? What kind of corrupt communication or bad words are we apt to let out of our mouths?”


“Swearing. Vulgar language. Gossip. Talking down to others. Saying nasty words to your mother.”


They all gasped on this last one, and we all agreed that saying nasty words to your mother was definitely corrupt communication.


“How can we make our words good to the use of edifying?” I asked.


They gave an assortment of answers “Say nice things to others. Give out compliments. Be cheerful. Help our parents when they’re cranky. Tell the truth.” 


One boy spoke up, “Our words should be like building blocks.”


I was delighted with this simple, clear picture, "That's a great idea. We should think of each word as a block, and we should keep adding good words to each other's pile of blocks until the pile gets higher and higher."


As I was demonstrating with my hands putting one block on top of another on this imaginary pile, a little boy called out, "And we shouldn't go around and knock other people's blocks down!"


They all giggled, and I latched on to his brilliant comparison. “What a great thought you’ve come up with! What a perfect picture! Here’s a whole pile of good words, and then someone comes along with a negative remark and it knocks all the blocks down.”


They got the message clearly, and I was delighted with this little group’s enthusiasm and participation. I then moved on to the last part of the verse that says our words should minister grace. I explained that when our words come out of our mouths, they should be like little presents all wrapped up to be given away.


The idea of presents brightened them all up. Then one precious little girl stood up, stepped into the aisle, and said loudly to the whole congregation, as if serving as my interpreter:


“What she means is that our words should be like little silver boxes with bows on top.”


As the adults nodded and murmured affirmations, I exclaimed, “What a beautiful thought! Our words should be gifts to each other, little silver boxes with bows on top.”


What more could I say? 


The children had taught the verse to each other and to me in a way none of us could easily forget:

  • We are not to say any bad, vulgar, unkind words. 
  • We are to think of each word as a building block, one on top of another, ever reaching higher and higher. 
  • We are never to go around knocking other people’s blocks down. 
  • We are to make sure our words are like little silver boxes with bows on top: verbal presents to encourage others.


(Can't see the image? Click here to download Ephesians 4:29!)


Try this today:  Think of one person you can build up with a "silver box"...perhaps someone whose "blocks" you have "knocked over." Find a way and time to give the gift of encouragement to this person today.

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Please leave a comment 
  • responding to today’s blog, and/or
  • sharing your Day #1-20 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
  • about anything else on your heart!
Winners for Days 17-21 will be drawn and notified mid-week!

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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

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