Showing posts with label Week 3. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Week 3. Show all posts

Day 21: HOLD


Our Give-Away for Today!

Arm Around Shoulder / Hand Over Mouth: Ten loving lessons for mothers and daughters-in-law


"Open these pages and let your heart and your life be transformed by love!!! You will discover fresh-flowing love for the very special people God has placed in your life. More than that, you will experience amazing insights on the secret for pouring His love into the lives of others. Open your heart to hear God's voice as you turn these anointed pages!"
Glenna Salsbury
Author of The Art of The Fresh Start

"Mimi is a gutsy gal whose relationship skills were forged in the crucible of a sometimes harsh life. But God sent her an angel, a mother-in-law with a heart of gold and an abundance of grace. Through this woman, Mimi let God transform her own life. Today she has opened to us all the rich store of advice and examples she gained in the process.
Beautifully presented, this book is full of illustrations of the balance between loving those special in-laws God sends us and receiving grace with humility, then passing it on. Thank you, Mimi, for showing us that in-lawing can work to the glory of God."
Ethel Herr
Christian Writer and Speaker
Mimi Moseley’s favorite saying is, “It’s never too late to be who you were meant to be.” A scared childhood could have produced a troubled adult had God not intervened. Mimi has served in various aspects of ministering to women for over 25 years. She and her husband, Marty, live in Northern California. They have two sons, Marty III and Matthew; two amazing daughters-in-law, Rebecca and Anna; and two adorable grandchildren, Marty IV and Malea. 
Mimi communicates her calling to encourage conference and retreat attendees, as well as one-on-one counseling, to cultivate practical changes, which enhances good relationships and gives hope to those facing hopeless ones. 

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Ever find yourself in the the middle of an argument, wondering how did I get here?
And how can I get out?
As the dust settles, you try to re-play the whole thing start-to-finish and discover huge gaps in your memory…
...like what started it? 
Half of what you said?
For several days, now, I’ve been trying to triage what I will prudently refer to as “the sorbet incident.” 
Problem is, I have no idea what Daniel said that set me off.
I do know I got defensive. 
I do know I “explained” my reasons for doing what I did.
But I do not know why I made such a big deal out of it. The whole thing could have been handled in 3-4 sentences, sans emotion. 
I want to say it started when Daniel said something about the sorbet.
Truth is, it started when I reacted to whatever Daniel said about the sorbet.
When I failed to “hold my tongue.”
When I failed to practice what I preached one short week ago when I wrote, “a priceless gift can be mine for the cost of silence: trust.”
Hold One at a Time
When our first dog was a puppy, she loved carrying things around in her mouth. We’d take her on walks, and she’d pounce on the first stick she saw, get it in her mouth, and proudly walk along holding it high. 
But soon, she’d spy a different stick. One short moral quandary later, she’d drop the first stick and pick up the new one.
Then she’d see a pine cone. Same process. We joked that she was moving the entire world forward ten paces at a time!
Since she could only fit one thing in her mouth at a time, she faced forced alternatives: this stick or that pinecone?
I face the same choice. 
Every time I open my mouth. 
What will it be: my words or God’s words? 
Either / or.
(I long for the day when it’s not a forced alternative. When I am so fluent in God that my words are His words!)
Hold His Words
(Can't see image? Click here to download Proverbs 10:19!)

Yes, it’s important to learn to “hold my tongue.” 
But I know from experience that if that’s all I do–exercise self-control in my own strength–I will end up with inflated self-confidence and pride.
Far more important is for me to hold God’s Word in my heart so that I have ready replacements when my own words aren’t worth saying!
I’ve been pairing replacement Bible verses to my thoughtless “pet phrases” of complaining+:
For example, I want...

“Why on earth…” to trigger Romans 8:37: “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours though Christ, who loved us.”
“How could I have…” to trigger Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”
“I can not believe that (s)he…” to trigger Luke 6:27-28: “Love your enemies, do good tot hose who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
Your “pet phrases” are no doubt different from mine. But the whole point of The PURSE-onality Challenge is to actively replace that “baditude” with God’s word.

Hold Me
One reason “the sorbet incident” disturbs me is that I can’t remember what “pet phrases” I used. 
Probably several old favorites that are eluding capture, and I want to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
But when “the sorbet incident” started, what I wanted even more was to (a) be right and (b) revive an old grudge. 
I was deaf to God’s word...even to remembering my own words!
This is disheartening. 
Yes, partly because I am facilitating The PURSE-onality Challenge and would love to share nothing but success after success after success!
But mostly because I’m so tired of living in the aftermath of not holding my tongue and not holding God’s word. 
Tired of not remembering what I said, but knowing it was all wrong.
Tired of feeling like all I am is one big “sorbet incident.”
Tired of feeling like nothing ever really changes.
Better late than never, I remember God’s words: “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Yes, I am learning to hold my tongue.
Yes, I am learning to hold God’s word in my heart.
Right now, I just need Him to hold me.
Try this today:  (1) Start a list of your “pet phrases” and begin pairing them with replacement Bible verses (2) Listen to or read the lyrics to “Hold Me Jesus” as a reminder that the only lasting change comes because He holds you.


(Can’t see the embedded video? Click here to view/listen to “Hold Me Jesus”)

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Please leave a comment 

  • responding to today’s blog, and/or
  • sharing your Day #1-21 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
  • about anything else on your heart!

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    (Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

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    Day 20: BUILDING


    Our Give-Away for Today!

    Silver Boxes: the Gift of Encouragement



    Today's guest post comes courtesy of my Personality Training mentor, Florence Littauer. 


    Florence's take on Ephesians 4:29 is one of my all-time favorite stories. 


    Here it is, in her own words: (The link leads to a 45-minute online audio.)


    It was a Sunday morning in a traditional old New England style church, the kind where people come early to get back row seats. As I sat relaxed and grateful that I had one Sunday when I wasn’t scheduled to speak, I heard the pastor say, “I see that Florence Littauer is in our congregation this morning, and I think it would be nice if she came up and gave us a few words.”


    Never at a loss for words, I stirred in my seat. As I started to rise, the pastor added, “In fact, why don’t we have Mrs. Littauer give the children’s sermon.”


    I had never given a children’s sermon, and I thought to myself, There’s a big difference between saying a few words and delivering a children’s sermon.


    What was I going to say? I sent up a “Lord help me” prayer as I walked forward, and instantly Ephesians 4:29 came to mind. The youngsters filled the empty front rows, and I turned to stand before them.


    “This morning I’m going to teach you one verse that I taught my children. Do you think you could learn one verse?” They all nodded happily, and I was pleased that they were so responsive.


    “Whenever we study a verse, we want to ask ourselves three things: what does it say, what does it mean, and how does it apply to me today?”


    I then stated the verse: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).


    When I asked if anyone knew what that verse meant, they all shook their heads. 


    “Let’s take it apart,” I suggested. “What is communication?” They gave quick answers: talking, saying words. 


    “What is corrupt communication?”


    A boy of about ten replied with a twinkle, “Bad words.”


    “That’s right,” I said, “God does not want us to let any bad words come out of our mouth. What does he want us to say? Words that are good and that will edify. What does it mean to edify?”


    Deep looks came over their faces as they wondered what it  meant to edify. One girl spoke up. “Does it mean to build up?”


    “That’s perfect,” I said enthusiastically. “We are not to say bad words but good words that will build each other up. Now what does it mean to minister grace?”


    We discussed the fact that to minister is to serve and give to others. One of the older children spoke up and said, “We learned in Sunday school that grace is God’s unmerited favor.” The others looked at her as if she were speaking a foreign language, but I congratulated her and amplified her statement. “That’s great. Grace is a gift we didn’t necessarily deserve.”


    I then went on to explain that Paul wrote this verse to the church in Ephesus because he had heard that the nice people were saying unkind things about each other. Even though they were good Christians, they were saying bad words, and he had to give them some advice about what should come out of their mouths. He had to tell these well-meaning people to stop dropping bad words on each other and start giving out messages that would build each other up and do others a favor. 


    “Is it possible,” I asked, “that some of the good families in this church occasionally say things to each other that are not kind?”


    The eyes of thee little ones grew big, and some even nodded yes, it was possible.


    “Let’s see now how this one verse applies to you and me. We’ve taken it apart to find out what it really teaches; we’ve seen what it meant to those ancient people in Ephesus; now what does it say to us good church-going people seated here today? What kind of corrupt communication or bad words are we apt to let out of our mouths?”


    “Swearing. Vulgar language. Gossip. Talking down to others. Saying nasty words to your mother.”


    They all gasped on this last one, and we all agreed that saying nasty words to your mother was definitely corrupt communication.


    “How can we make our words good to the use of edifying?” I asked.


    They gave an assortment of answers “Say nice things to others. Give out compliments. Be cheerful. Help our parents when they’re cranky. Tell the truth.” 


    One boy spoke up, “Our words should be like building blocks.”


    I was delighted with this simple, clear picture, "That's a great idea. We should think of each word as a block, and we should keep adding good words to each other's pile of blocks until the pile gets higher and higher."


    As I was demonstrating with my hands putting one block on top of another on this imaginary pile, a little boy called out, "And we shouldn't go around and knock other people's blocks down!"


    They all giggled, and I latched on to his brilliant comparison. “What a great thought you’ve come up with! What a perfect picture! Here’s a whole pile of good words, and then someone comes along with a negative remark and it knocks all the blocks down.”


    They got the message clearly, and I was delighted with this little group’s enthusiasm and participation. I then moved on to the last part of the verse that says our words should minister grace. I explained that when our words come out of our mouths, they should be like little presents all wrapped up to be given away.


    The idea of presents brightened them all up. Then one precious little girl stood up, stepped into the aisle, and said loudly to the whole congregation, as if serving as my interpreter:


    “What she means is that our words should be like little silver boxes with bows on top.”


    As the adults nodded and murmured affirmations, I exclaimed, “What a beautiful thought! Our words should be gifts to each other, little silver boxes with bows on top.”


    What more could I say? 


    The children had taught the verse to each other and to me in a way none of us could easily forget:

    • We are not to say any bad, vulgar, unkind words. 
    • We are to think of each word as a building block, one on top of another, ever reaching higher and higher. 
    • We are never to go around knocking other people’s blocks down. 
    • We are to make sure our words are like little silver boxes with bows on top: verbal presents to encourage others.


    (Can't see the image? Click here to download Ephesians 4:29!)


    Try this today:  Think of one person you can build up with a "silver box"...perhaps someone whose "blocks" you have "knocked over." Find a way and time to give the gift of encouragement to this person today.

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    Please leave a comment 
    • responding to today’s blog, and/or
    • sharing your Day #1-20 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
    • about anything else on your heart!
    Winners for Days 17-21 will be drawn and notified mid-week!

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    (Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

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    Day 19: BLESS


    Our Give-Away for Today!


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    Cheri: (venting to my son) “I’ve had it up to hear with Ramon! He’s impossible! Disrespectful, antagonistic, hates my class, hates me, refuses to learn. I can’t do anything with him!”
    Jonathon: (Contemplatively)  “I just wish I knew him better...”
    Cheri: (Vengefully) “I know him as well as I need to know him.”
    Jonathon: (Gently)  “Maybe you only know him as much as you want to know him.”
    Ouch.
    The truth hurts.
    Especially when spoken in love by one I trust!
    I Make You All About Me

    On my own, I am hyper-sensitive to negativity. I filter your behavior through suspicion:

    • Are you my enemy?
    • Do you hate me?
    • Are you cursing me?
    • Do you mistreat me?
    Strangers, it would make sense for me to screen this way. But no, I save my hyper-est vigilance for those closest to me: family, friends, students, colleagues, church members.
    Ramon is a perfect example of how easily I vilify people God has called me to love: 

    • Yes, he was a very difficult student. 
    • Yes, he was blatant in telling me he couldn’t stand me or my class. 
    • Yes, he badmouthed me to my face, to students, to administration, to his parents. 
    • Yes, he disrupted class, especially with devastatingly subtle body language.
    I was “right” about all of Ramon’s negativity. But I was wrong in my response. 
    I focused on me and

    • how much I like my students to like me. 
    • how hard it is for me to face a student–day in and day out–when I know he actively dislikes me. 
    • how easily offended I am when a student “talks trash” about me. 
    • how quickly I melt down in the face of disrespect.
    In my mind, I transformed Ramon from son of God into a caricature: an “impossible” student. 
    End. of. story.
    He Makes Me All About You
    (Can't see image? Download Luke 6:27-28 here!)
    In a comment on Day 3, Patti JC wrote: “My process for today is to try to put myself in another person’s shoes if they irritate me while driving….if someone pulls out and is oblivious to me behind them, I can think "maybe this person has just received bad news of some kind & isn't focused on what they're doing" or "maybe they're having a bad day and yelling at the kids; my attitude toward them could only compound their issues", etc.  :)”
    Empathy is such a powerful choice! 
    SO the opposite of accusation and contempt. 
    "Maybe" allows for the reason to remain unknown, which is hard. 
    We tend to do pretty well being empathetic when we know the reason and it makes sense to us. But when all we have to go on is our own imagination and "maybe," THAT is love in action.
    I arrived at empathy for Ramon too late. Not until April did I take my eyes off myself long enough to glimpse the world through his eyes. 
    He knew nobody liked him. But he didn’t understand why. He was a confused, hurting, mixed-up kid who needed someone to take the time to get to know him.
    Jonathon’s comment, “I just wish I knew him better!” has stayed with me. I did not try hard enough to get to know Ramon, and my regret keeps me mindful that Christ calls me to 

    • love the Ramons in my life…no matter how “difficult” that may feel.
    • do good for the Ramons in my life...even if they actively dislike me.
    • bless the Ramons in my life...despite any face-to-face badmouthing and behind-the-back trash talking.
    • pray for the Ramons in my life...regardless of how they treat me.
    Try this today:  Make a list of the “Ramons” in your life. (If any are family members, keep the list tucked away!)  Keep it with your journal and prayerfully seek one way to Love, Do good, Bless, and/or Pray for one “Ramon” today.




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    Please leave a comment 
    • responding to today’s blog, and/or
    • sharing your Day #1-19 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
    • about anything else on your heart!
    Winners for Days 17-21 will be drawn and notified mid-week!

     * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    (Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

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