Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

10 Lessons I've Learned from My 20-Year-Old

1st birthday & 2nd Christmas!
It's official.

I am no longer the mother of a teenager.

Jonathon turned 20 today.

I tried to think about all the things that make him the unique kid...er...young man he is. 

But rather than try to describe him in flowery prose, I thought I'd simply share some of the things I never would have learned without him in my life over the last two decades.


1.  C4 = the Combination to Any Lock

Jonathon's nickname is "Rico": as in "Kaboom-kaboom-kaboom?"..."Enough with the dynamite already!" (think Madagascar penguins!)





2.  Goodwill: the Only Place to Shop

Jonathon wears shorts and t-shirts year-round. He shops at the Goodwill because he hates the idea of paying full price. He goes on Wednesday because all clothes are 1/2-price. (Needless to say, he has more money in savings than the rest of the family combined!)



3.  I Need an Official Conscience

I nick-named Jonathon "Jiminy Cricket" back when he was just a little tyke because of the way he insisted on keeping me on the straight and narrow. No bending of rules or truth allowed!



4.  The Importance of The Stick.

I learned years ago never to ask, "What is this?" when encountering a new stick on the couch or in the bathtub. Jonathon would simply say, "A stick?!?" in a voice that communicated, "You can identify foreshadowing in literature but you don't recognize a simple stick when you see one?"  Boys and sticks. Don't get it. No longer question it.


5.  There's No Such Thing as Enough Pizza

Jonathon's favorite food is pizza, and he's become quite the gourmet pizza-maker. We discovered this fabulous counter-top pizza oven when he headed off to college. I now have several of them for when I need to feed a crowd!



6.  How to Make a Beatnik Costume

During his senior year, Jonathon's class threw a 50's-themed party. Most of the boys dressed in jeans, white t-shirts, and slicked-back hair. However, Jonathon's full beard presented a non-negotiable obstacle to achieving the James Dean look. Amazingly, we were able to find a black turtleneck and beret at Ross in May, and he was the token Beatnik of the bash!



7.  Quartets are Habit-Forming

Yes, his father's been part of a gospel quartet for over a decade. But still, there's something amazing about seeing my boy get up front with his buddies and hearing them break out in four-part harmony!  (And in case you're worried that I can't count, they added an honorary 5th member when they did Valentine's Day singing telegrams!)


8.  Shorts are All-Weather Clothes

When I was a kid, I hated being forced to wear a jacket or even a sweater. I was never cold, so I always stripped off the item and lost it. Then I got into trouble for losing something I hadn't wanted to wear in the first place! So when it became clear that Jonathon inheritied my thermostat and he said he didn't need pants for daily wear, I didn't buy them for him. (Okay, that's not quite the full truth: I always bought one pair at the Goodwill, just in case...which never actually happened!) Now, he's made quite a name for himself as the kid who wears shorts regardless of the weather. 


9.  Lego Video Games Have No Age Limit

I have to confess that I teared up a little when Jonathon texted me that he'd like the Lego Lord of the Rings video game for Christmas. So glad he's not all grown up quite yet!




10.  Introverts are Powerful People

I've known since Jonathon was a toddler that he's a true-blue introvert. So when I was offered a pre-publication copy of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, I jumped at the chance to order it. As soon as it arrived, I gave it to Jonathon who read it cover-to-cover, and handed it back back with the admonition, "Mom, you need to read this." (He was so right!)



Your Turn:

  • What's an important lesson you've learned from a child or teenager or young adult in your life?
  • What's an important addition to your life that came into your life because of a child, teen, or YA?
  • Anything else on your heart!



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Day 12: INSEPARABLE (+ Missing Loved Ones at the Holidays)



Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

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Day 11: MASTERPIECE (+ Being Content With What I DO Have)


One of the #1 holiday struggles for many is missing loved ones who are no longer with us, especailly if it’s our first holiday season without them.

Today’s verse is such a powerful reminder that even though we may be separated from people who gave us love, we are never separated from God and his love.

No power in the sky above or in the earth below –
indeed, nothing in all creation 
will ever be able to separate us 
from the love of God 
that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Romans 8:39 (NLT)

For years, I’ve held back all memories of my Grandma Pudleiner because my final ones are so painful: her lying unconscious in a hospital bed, full of tubes, fading rapidly. 

But God is walking me along a healing path, teaching to grieve my  losess without losing myself in them. 

In fact, in the process of honoring my sadness, I’m re-discovering so much of myself that has been locked behind decades of stoicism. 

Writing this letter has been a slow dance back through the pages of time. Tears fell freely as I wrote, freeing me to revel in fond memories rather than stay chained to regrets.

Dear Grandma,

You’ve been gone for more than half my life, now.

I think about you when we go to California Pizza Kitchen. I always order their Dakota Smashed Pea and Barley soup because it tastes ever so vaguely like your amazing split pea soup. 

I think about you as December approaches. Christmas Eve was doubly special in our family: the night before we celebrated Jesus birthday and the night we celebrated your actual birthday.

I think about you when I hear the first few notes to the Alleluia chorus. How you loved singing in the Messiah each year! 

I think about you when I hear the first few notes of O Holy Night, your favorite Christmas song. You lured me to the piano every Christmas Eve, where I’d play while you sang for pure joy, hitting even the “oh hear the angel voices” and “oh night divine” notes with utter abandon. And you always left me a dollar on the piano as a thank you. 

It was your birthday, but I got the dollar. 

Somehow that made sense back then. 

Now, not so much.

I wish I’d taken the time to get more than the yearly dollar. 

Like the recipe for your streuselkuchen. Your almond kuchen. Your nut roll. And especially your nut candy. 

We have the wooden molds shaped like walnut halves. But no recipe. 

The top half was always light brown and tasted a bit like butterscotch, and the bottom half was darker brown and chocolate-flavored. 

When I took the halves apart, I could see the tooth-pick holes from when you pulled each half out of the mold. (I think I remember seeing you run your finger under tap water to moisten each half before sticking them together but it’s been so long, I might be making up that memory.)

I miss more than your German sweets, of course. 

I miss passing our shared copy of Lad a Dog back and forth, re-reading it over and over until it’s all but fallen apart.

I missing walking to your house on Wednesdays after school, sitting at your kitchen table (spread with the crocheted gold tablecloth–your own “fancywork”!) and having you ask me about my “boy-a-friend.”

I miss all the wacky baldness cure advertisements you'd cut out of magazines and surreptitiously leave on Daddy’s desk. 

I miss the crush you had on Daniel. I didn’t realize you were so crazy about him and so excited about us getting married until we found the envelope marked “Daniel and Cheri,” full of carefully saved dollar bills, in your desk drawer after you were hospitalized.

(You would love our kids. Annemarie has your creativity; Jonathon, your quiet mischief!)

I miss hearing you tell your childhood stories. You always laughed at how you were such a slow runner that the only prize you ever won was an unexpected “last place prize” one day!  And you always wept when you told about crying through your eighth grade graduation because you wanted so much to continue schooling. 

You worshiped the ground teachers walked on. The medical fields were all fine and dandy, but to you, there was no greater calling than education. In your last few weeks, I don’t know if you knew that I was starting my first year of teaching. I tell myself that you did. 

I miss the unconditionality of your love. You needed nothing from me and wanted everything for me. 

This Christmas season, I will attempt a streuselkuchen. It won’t be the same, but I’ll keep playing with the recipe until I get it close to yours. 

This Christmas season, I will crank a CD of The Messiah up to full volume (and, yes, I’ll be sure to stand when the Alleluia chorus comes on!) 

This Christmas Eve, I will sit at the piano and play O Holy Night (and give an extra dollar when children's offering basket comes around at church.)

This Christmas, I will bask in the blessed memory of 22 years with a grandmother who loved me so very dearly.

Ich liebe dich, Großmutter.  


Cheri


Your Turn!
  • Is there someone you will be especially missing this holiday season? 
  • How do you / could you incorporate a special honoring of a loved one in your holiday celebrations?
  • What has helped you learn how to grieve losses so that the memories bring more blessing than sorrow?
  • Anything else on your heart?




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