Showing posts with label clutter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clutter. Show all posts

Q4U: Where's the Line between Faking It & Making It?

For several months, now, I've had a Post-It note floating around with these words, scribbled in the wee hours of the morning:

 "We're told to 'Fake it 'til you make it!' But what if you never 'make it'?"

 I had no idea what to make of that question until yesterday, when I read these Facebook status updates by my friend Shonna Dalusong:

 "Cluttered heart = cluttered calendar, cluttered priorities, cluttered relationships, cluttered home. Is there clutter in your life?"

 "I grew up holding onto 'stuff' for 'just in case.' It hit me today how much self-sufficiency is in that. If I have everything I need at any time to solve any problem or provide for any of my needs, where does trust and God-sufficiency come in?"

 And I thought back to several clutter-related blog posts



 Then it hit me:  

 When I "fake it 'til I make it"  -- but never actually "make it" -- I'm just a faker.

 A poser.

 A wannabe.

 So of course I'm going to fill my nothingness with clutter!

 I desperately need the trappings of success, or at least progress, so that everyone will think I'm real.

 My stuff serves as evidence that I'm still "making it."
FITYMA Has Its Place

 I'm not bashing the "fake it 'til you make it" concept. 

 I remember all-too-clearly the sheer panic I felt when Annemarie and I were discharged from the hospital on March 26, 1991. 

 I felt like telling the nurses, "You're making a huge mistake!  I've never even babysat let alone changed a diaper! I have no clue what to do with this baby once you hand her over to me!"

 Eight hours after we got home, I frantically called the hospital to speak to a nurse because Annemarie had slept the entire time, and I didn't know how to wake her up...or even if I should.

 No doubt about it: sometimes, "fake it 'til you make it" is the only MO available.
The Line Between My Life & My Lie

But today I'm asking myself:  Where's the line?  

 How can I tell when my purpose has shifted from working hard at actually "making it" to just the continuation of "faking it"?

 How do I recognize when, as Katy put it, the gathering of my trappings completely replaces my original goal...and even deceives me into believing I'm achieving my true goal? 
No Easy Answers

 I'd love to wrap this blog post up with eight easy answers, but no can do. 

 This is all too new.

 I've got a lot of prayer, silence and solitude, and scripture searching to do before I try to offer up any wisdom. 

 This feels big, at least for me. 

 WAY big. 

 Way bigger than let's-just-clean-out-the-unused-pet-paraphenalia cupboard. 

  • More like question-every-book-on-my-shelves big. 
  • More like what-if-my-clutter-is-my-cherished-sin big. 
  • More like search-me-Oh-God-and-know-my-heart big.


 What Do You Think?

 So I'll close for today by inviting you to share your thoughts and experiences.

  • How do you know when you've crossed the line between "Making It" and "Faking It"?
  • When can you tell that the trappings have overtaken your original goal?
  • Anything else on your heart!




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Day 23: CLEANSE (A Holiday-Ready Home)


Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!

Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)
Day 18: PERSEVERE (+2 Cures for Procrastination)
Day 19: BLESS (Your Feelings Can Help You Choose)
Day 20: BUILDING (20+ Ways to Build with Words)
Day 21: HOLD (Hold Back, Let Go, and Step Up)
Day 22: FRUIT (I Didn't Think...I Was a People-Pleaser!)



The Way It’s Always Been

Teachers get important things done three times a year: summer, Christmas, and spring vacations.

Once the school year starts, anything that doesn’t involve teaching, lesson planning, grading, parenting, wifing, and basic survival gets shoved until Christmas vacation.

Which usually starts somewhere around December 21.  

No wonder I’ve never felt ready for Christmas: I haven’t been! 

Not by a long shot!

In fact, not only have I not been ready, I’ve been behind. Way behind. 


My “To Get Done During” Christmas List

All four of us need teeth cleaning appointments.

The animals need to go to the vet.

Both cars need major servicing (the kind that requires us both to drive to the dealership, leave one car, drive back home, wait a day or two, and then drive back again, leave the other car...you get the picture!)

The freezer needs to be emptied, defrosted, and re-organized.

Last year’s pair of boots need to be replaced because there are holes in both soles.


The house needs to be cleaned from top to bottom. 

But before it can be cleaned, it really needs to be de-cluttered. (Anything we don’t quite know what to do with pretty much gets left wherever it lands August - December.)

And so on.

And so forth.

And -- oh yeah -- Merry Christmas!


Time for a Change

If I’m going to have a holiday-ready heart mid-November, I’ve got to change my what-gets-done-when habits.

Starting with the clutter.

If we confess our sins 
He is faithful and just 
to forgive us our sins and 
cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 
1 John 1:9 (NIV)

If God can cleanse my innermost heart of sin and unrighteousness, then surely I can put some effort toward cleaning my outer environment!

As non-visual as I am, I have to admit that my outer life has a far greater impact on my inner life than I used to realize. 

If I'm going to have a holiday-ready heart, I need to start now to have a holiday-ready home.

Waiting until my next major vacation is a huge set-up for failure...and continued holiday hatred.


20 Minutes a Day

For the next nine days, October 22 through October 31, I'm going to spend 20 minutes focusing on one key area of my home: 
  • 0-5:  Pick up obvious items that need to go or can go. 
  • 6-10:  Make a list of things that need to be cleaned, repaired, replaced, etc.
  • 11-15:  Take one small step (i.e. toss all the throw blankets in the wash)
  • 16-20:  Assess the room’s needs, especially in light of the holidays (i.e. wood for the fireplace.)

I'll be dividing the days up according to these areas:

  • Day 1:  Living Room
  • Day 2:  Kitchen
  • Day 3:  Master Bedroom
  • Day 4:  Guest Bathroom
  • Day 5:  Kids’ Rooms
  • Day 6:  Guest Room / My Study
  • Day 7:  Garage & Vehicles
  • Day 8:  Back Yard & Pets
  • Day 9:  Front Porch & People


Obviously, I'm not aiming for any sort of perfection during these next nine days.

 All I want to do is

  • get started,
  • make a small difference, and
  • make a do-able plan.

Doing this will break old habits.

 And it'll move me closer to having a holiday-ready home to match my holiday-ready heart!



Your Turn:

  • Do you tend to put off home-related tasks until you can get it all done at once? Or do you consistently chip away at them?
  • Do you enjoy preparing your house for the holidays or do you find it stressful?  Either way, why? 
  • Anything else on your heart!


a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Day 23: CLEANSE

Our Give-Away for Today!

The Get Yourself Organized Project

Finally, an organizational book for women who have given up trying to be Martha Stewart but still desire some semblance of order in their lives.


Most organizational books are written by and for people who are naturally structured and orderly. For the woman who is more ADD than type A, the advice sounds terrific but seldom works. These women are looking for help that takes into account their free-spirited outlook while providing tips and tricks they can easily follow to live a more organized life.


Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project and other “project” books, is just the author to address this need. In her inimitable style, she offers
  • easy and effective ways women can restore peace to their everyday lives
  • simple and manageable long-term solutions for organizing any room in one’s home (and keeping it that way)
  • a realistic way to de-stress a busy schedule
  • strategies for efficient shopping, meal preparation, cleaning, and more
Full of helpful tips and abundant good humor, The Get Yourself Organized Project is for those who want to spend their time living and enjoying life rather than organizing their sock drawer.
Kathi Lipp is a full-time speaker and writer as well as being the parent of four young adults with her husband, Roger in San Jose, CA. When she is not doing laundry, she is speaking at retreats, conferences and women's events across the US. Find out more about Kathi, and get some great freebies, at http://www.kathilipp.com and Facebook 

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Summer vacation is almost here. Soon, I can tackle the long over-due tasks I’ve been putting off since...Christmas vacation!
#1 on my list: CLEAN UP. 
Everything.
 I have waaaaay too much stuff. Clutter is multiplying and bearing down on us from every side. It’s suffocating. (This photo is real...please don’t judge me!)
On Warm-Up Day 8, we talked a bit about “Cleaning Out These PURSE-onalities!” and getting rid of all the purse trash we carry around.
We really do not want our lives full of trash and clutter and stuff. 
We do want to clean up our acts.
So why is it so hard to let go?  
No Place to Hide 
At a women’s retreat last year, I spent prayerful time journaling in response to the question:  What “fig leaves” do I hide behind?
At the top of my list were “starting” and “joining.”  New projects. New businesses. New groups. New causes. 
Why do I love starting and joining?
Each time is a a chance at a “new me”! A whole new I.D. 
Oh, how I’ve always longed for a fresh start! To be brand new and squeaky clean. So I’ve jumped at every chance for do-it-myself re-NEW-al.  
Of course, D.I.Y. has never worked. God says, “I will make all things new!” He will renew me.  I can not renew me.  I. AM. NOT. GOD.
I was reminded of this when a student asked me, as I was opening a box from Amazon and delighting in my latest self-help book, “Mrs. G, why do you read so many of those kinds of books?” 

Glibly, I quipped, “Well, I just have so much room for growth!”
But later, in moments of quiet reflection, I had to admit that even my beloved books are, far too often, “fig leaves” behind which I hide.
And try to minimize my sin. 
Try to be “good enough” by my own efforts.
Try to Do It Myself.
How much trash and clutter and stuff must I hide behind before I finally admit:
I. Can. Not. Do. It. Myself.
I can’t clean up my own act.
No Need to Hide
(Can't see the image? Click here to download 1 John 1:9)

Yes, it’s scary asking God to take out our trash and stuff and clutter. 
For the longest time, I was scared of emptiness. 
Terrified that if I let Him do a thorough cleansing of my life, nothing would be left...nothing to hide behind. 
I wrote this a few months ago as I was pondering the difference between “empty” and “spacious”: 
I used to try to fill 
that empty place inside.
With food.
With people.
With shopping.
With starting.
With busy-ness.
But I realize now that it's not empty.
It's spacious.
Ready and waiting to hold 
whatever comes next. 
Or content with 
nothing more.
I used to think I was 
empty 
desperate to be 
filled with 
just the right thing 
to make me complete.
But He brought me out 
into a spacious place
and I’m discovering
how much easier
it is to breathe
when there's
plenty of
space.

The more I’m learning to take refuge in Him, the less I “need” my other hiding places, my other fig leaves. 
And the more I’m finding that trashed, stuffed, and cluttered pale in comparison to the clean and spacious life He is renewing in me!
Try this today:  As you’re journaling, prayerfully consider what “fig leaves” you hide behind, trying to cover up sin that only God can forgive and cleanse. You might look at your PURSE-onality “gift card” and consider your particular PURSE-onality weaknesses (which are generally strengths taken to the extreme.)


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Please leave a comment 

  • responding to today’s blog, and/or
  • sharing your Day #1-23 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
  • about anything else on your heart!

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    (Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

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