Showing posts with label Words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Words. Show all posts

Day 20: BUILDING (20+ Ways to Build with Words)


Each day during The PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart" in October, Untangling Christmas by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, will be our give-away prize!  

Enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!


Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality's Take on Truth)
Day 18: PERSEVERE (+2 Cures for Procrastination)
Day 19: BLESS (Your Feelings Can Help You Choose)
When I was little, my father always used to say to me, "Thank you for choosing me to be your Daddy." 

I always replied, "Daaaaa-deeee..." because, of course, he made NO sense.

But I love it to this day when he says it!

Oh, the power of the words that come out of our mouths!


Only What is Helpful

This is a tall order. 

If the words coming out of my mouth are going to be “only...helpful” during the holidays, I have got to be practicing now.

Since my mind often goes blank right when I need just the right words, here are some ideas for practicing “only what is helpful” words.


Building Others Up

When I survey women prior to speaking at a retreats, 60% or more say they love hearing (or would love to hear):
  • You are a blessing in my life.
  • I/we appreciate you.
  • I see God working in you and through you.
  • What would I/we ever do without you?
  • I/we need you.
  • I am so glad you are my _______. (daughter, wife, mother, etc.)
  • You are gifted. / You are talented.
  • I love listening to you.
  • You can do it!
  • You mean the world to me.
  • You’re made such a difference in my life.


According to Their Needs

These particular affirmations receive about 40% votes, probably because they are PURSE-onality specific:
  • You are so much fun!  (Sanguine)
  • You are such a good organizer / planner.  (Melancholy)
  • You are such a good leader. (Choleric)
  • You are such a peaceful person to be with.  (Phlegmatic)


Benefit Those Who Listen

I asked my friends on Facebook to share words that have built them up. Here are some responses:

  • Of course, it so nice when people tell us that they appreciate us or recognize when we are working hard....expressions of gratitude go a long way. I think that when loved ones also quote God's word and encourage me with scripture, it is truly affirming and uplifting.
  • This morning I wrote an email to my husband because I was overwhelmed with homeschooling and asked if I could purchase something (I rarely spend money) and he wrote "I support you!" I started crying because I needed just that!
  • "You communicated that very well," or, "you're very articulate."
  • You are more than capable.
  • I love your ideas!
  • "Remember, you are weak, but HE IS STRONG!" I've been repeating this to myself over and over all week…
  • "Would you just listen?" Said in a frustrated tone, but they were words I needed to hear. I've tried to remember that lesson.
  • My child you worry too much. I've got this....love God.
  • Romans 8:28 is my blessed assurance verse.
  • When I get down on myself, which is often, my husband always gets this sad little boy look on his face and says, "But...you're my sweetie!" Now, I imagine Jesus saying the same thing to me.
  • Believe it or not these words: "Gina, everything that happens to you is not about you" by the pastor of ed/admin that I reported to when I was going through a season of uncertainty. Sometimes we experience things that God uses to do a work in someone else, like our spouses, etc.
  • Rom.8:28 (reminding myself that even though I may not understand that truth now, it will be true at the end)
  • Just this week someone said to me, "No matter how crummy a day I've had, you can always make me smile--then make it into a laugh! How do you do that? Never mind, I just love that you do." That just made me "Tickled Pink"!
  • I go back to "Search from Significance," by Robert S. McGee, which I first studied in 1990. "I have great worth apart from my performance, my appearance or what others think of me. Because God sees me thru Christ's shed blood, I am fully pleasing, totally accepted and unconditionally loved." This has gotten me thru many, many tough seasons!
  • Knowing that Jesus wept. He felt grief & heartache, too, even though He knew the master plan and that all was going to be okay. It's okay to cry.


Your Turn:

  • What words have built you up? With whom can you share these same helpful, beneficial words?
  • Which words above do you find especially powerful? To whom can you say them today?
  • Anything else on your heart!

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Warm-Up Day 2: The Heart and Mouth Connection

"What you say flows from what is in your heart."   Luke 6:45b (NLT)

Sure, I can recite this verse word-for-word. 

But how seriously do I live it day-to-day?

I mean, really: Do I real-ize that my words broadcast to other people exactly what's happening in my heart?

Just last Friday, I was fuming at my computer, about to yell, "You stupid piece of garbage!" at the top of my lungs when there came a knock on my door. 

One of my students. 

Whew!  

Close call, that time! Good thing she came when she did, eh?

Or was it?

Was I "saved" by the fact that I didn't actually say anything out loud? That nobody actually heard me verbalize what I was already thinking?


What I Hear...

In her book For Men Only (Yes, I read it; please don't tell on me!), Shaunti Feldhahn quotes a woman from her survey saying, "women are truly verbal and can't help it....the things [people] say to us are in mental tape archives and are as real today as they were the moment they were spoken."

I don't know about you, but this sure hit home for me! 

For almost a quarter of a century, my husband has wondered why I purposely rehearse painful conversations in my mind, re-evoking old emotions. 

I don't do it on purpose. It's just that as a woman, so often what I hear I take to heart. 


And scripture is crystal clear:  What what I take to heart comes out my mouth.


Who Hears Me Most?

 I agree that we need to watch our words because of the impact we have on others. 

Especially on non-believers. 

Especially on our spouses and children.

But I'm not "saved" from the consequences of my complaining+ when my words stay unspoken. 

Whether I hear my words aloud or I "just" hear them in my mind: 


One person takes the full brunt of every single complain-y, critical, gossipy, and sarcastic comment that goes through my mind:

Me.



(complaining+ = complaining, criticizing, gosipping, and sarcasm)

Q4U:  

Leave a comment to be entered into this week's drawing for a copy of Dangerous Surrender: What Happens When You Say "Yes" to God by Kay Warren!

  • What does Luke 6:45 say to you?
  • From what you hear–spoken and unspoken–what do you especially take to heart?


The PURSE-onality Challenge: 31 days of replacing "baditude" with God's Word and Gratitude! 

Click here for more details!





Warm-Up Week, Day 1: What's Wrong With It?










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Warm Up Day 1: What’s Wrong With It?

Welcome to Warm-Up Week!  From April 22-30, we're getting ready for The PURSE-onality Challenge which starts May 1st. 

In the last few days, you’ve likely heard (or said!) something like

  • “The cashier took forever to ring up my groceries! I could have done it in half the time with one hand and bagged them all with the other!”
  • “Were you born in a barn? This room looks like a pigsty!”
  • “She’s says she’s not coming because of her kids’ sports schedule…"
  • (Yelled to the driver who has just cut in front) “Is your car not equipped with a turn signal or are you too incompetent to use it?”
No big deal.
Right?
I mean, what’s wrong with a little Complaining? 
Or some well-deserved Criticism?
Or a wee bit of Gossip? 
Or witty Sarcasm?
Loosen up!
Right?
Be real: 31 days with no complaining, no criticism, no gossip, and no sarcasm?
Aren’t we taking this a bit too seriously?!?
God Takes Talk Seriously
In the NIV, Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” 
In the NLT, it says, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

The KJV says, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

If you're at all like me, you might be thinking:

  • "But half my conversations are complaining." 
  • "I just speak my mind."
  • "That’s so limiting! "
  • "If I followed these 'suggestions', I’d have to stop talking altogether!"
Don’t Believe God? Ask Amazon.
Let’s browse the Self-Help section. 
If complaining+ really is a useful relationship skill, then surely we’ll find dozens of books telling us how to do it better, right?

Perhaps we can order up a copy of...




These titles aren't available?
Maybe they’re temporarily sold out!
They don’t even exist?
Oh.
Here’s What’s Wrong

Here’s why we don't find how-to books about becoming a better complainer:

Complaining+ 
Does. 
Not. 
Work.



(complaining+ = complaining, criticizing, gosipping, and sarcasm)


Q4U:  


Leave a comment to be entered into this week's drawing for a copy of Dangerous Surrender: What Happens When You Say "Yes" to God by Kay Warren!

  • What does Ephesians 4:29 say to you?
  • Which do you think will be the hardest for you to stop: Complaining, Criticism, Gossip, or Sarcasm? Why?




The PURSE-onality Challenge: 31 days of replacing "baditude" with God's Word and Gratitude! 


Click here for more details!




Growing Home
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