The PURSE-onality Challenge: Spotlighting Strengths

Everything–and I do mean everything–connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through.
Get rid of it! Ephesians 4:22 (The Message)

We’ve seen how fixating on other people’s weaknesses leads to accusation and contempt. When we spotlight strengths, we learn acceptance and compassion.

No Excuses for Bad Behavior

But let's be clear: the PURSE-onalities are not intended to help us gloss over bad behavior!

It’s not okay to excuse our own weaknesses by saying,

“Oh, I’m a Sanguine, so I can’t help that I talk all the time!”

“I’m bossy because I’m a Choleric; just deal with it!”

“As a Melancholy, I’m naturally critical; don’t take it personally.”

“I can't handle conflict; I’m a Phlegmatic.”

Jesus Christ lived the strengths of all four personalities and the weaknesses of none. Our goal is to become more like Jesus, not more like our worst selves!

Time to Toss the Trash

When we give the Holy Spirit permission, he will expose our “rotten through-and-through” weaknesses.

Once we’re aware of them, we give them over to God

and then take on an entirely new way of life–a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.

Ephesians 4:23-24

I just saw that my fabulous friend Kathi Lipp is doing several funtastic give-aways for National Clean Out Your Purse Day on May 15.

And it occurred to me that The PURSE-onality Challenge is really “Clean Out Your PURSE-onality Month”!

In May, we will daily (hourly...minutely...) ask the Holy Spirit to check our spirits (or, in my case, whack me upside the head!) whenever we complain, criticize, gossip, and/or use sarcasm.

Each time we recognize “rotten” words, phrases, habits, tones of voice, gestures, we'll have a choice:

Cling to them, and carry around a PURSE-onality full of trash.

Toss the trash to God, making room for His new life in us.

What Will You Clean Out of Your PURSE-onality?

(If you do not see an embedded video, click here to view.)

Q4U:

Leave a comment to be entered into this week's drawing for a copy of Dangerous Surrender: What Happens When You Say "Yes" to God by Kay Warren!

What does Ephesians 4:22-24 say to you today?

What are you ready to clean out of your PURSE-onality in May?

What else has God laid on your heart as you've read this?

The PURSE-onality Challenge: 31 days of replacing "baditude" with God's Word and Gratitude!

Click here for more details!

Warm-Up Week, Day 1: What's Wrong With It?

Warm-Up Week, Day 2: The Heart and Mouth Connection

Warm-Up Week, Day 3: Tunnel of Grudge or a New Train of Thought?

Warm-Up Week, Day 4: Complaining vs. Problem-Solving

Warm-Up Week, Day 5: The Perks and Perils of "Being Heard"

Warm-Up Week, Day 6: Fixating on Weaknesses

Warm-Up Week, Day 7: Spotlighting Strengths

Join Women Living Well for 5 Weeks 5 Disciplines 5 Challenges!

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18

My natural instinct is to chip away at others so they will become more like me.

I can even feel quite certain God needs me to change you, so you’ll quit annoying me with your weaknesses.

But when I search BibleGateway.com, “Cheri will convict of all sin” never shows up.

(When I try quoting from Cheri’s Revised Version, my husband insists it doesn’t count. He can be so annoying at times!)

Not “More Like Me”

Well, if I’m not supposed to change other people so we can all live at peace, what am I supposed to do?

"You can only change your mind and not someone else's."

These wise words come from a dear sister who commented on yesterday’s blog.

We need to change how we see, hear, and understand others.

And this is where the PURSE-onalities have been a truly God-sent tool in my life. If you’re not familar with the four basic personalities, or if you’d like to brush up on them, you're welcome to listen to three of my messages:

“Let’s Get PURSE-onal!”

“Personality Puzzle for Parents of Preschoolers”

“Healthy Marriages Major in History (NOT Math!)”

And a couple of links to an online “personality test” and a downloadable version.

More Like God Created You and Me to Be

Spotlighting the strengths in each PURSE-son moves me out of accusation and into acceptance, which means “to take what is offered” and “to receive willingly.”

So I don’t try to alter, revise, return, or exchange you. I take you just as you offer yourself.

I don’t demand that you become different before I’ll treat you with love and respect. I receive you willingly as you are.

When I spotlight your strengths, all sorts of light blubs start going on in me. I have “ah-HA!’ moments left and right.

No wonder you ___!

This explains ___ so much!

Now ___ makes a lot more sense to me!

I don’t ____ but you do!

When I choose to spotlight your PURSE-onality strengths, I literally change my mind about you.

Let’s say you’re helping me set up for a big church dinner. I’m tossing silverware on the tables any old way, and you’re coming behind me lining it up perfectly.

If I fixate on your weaknesses, I’ll accuse you: She never thinks anything I do is good enough! She's such a persnickety perfectionist!

As I mull-again-and-stew over that, contempt brews: I may not do things as well as she does, but at least I’m not rigid and demanding!

But when I spotlight your strengths, I accept you: She sure wants everything PERFECT for the women who are coming tonight. By making everything so well ORGANIZED, she’s making sure everyone can just relax and have a wonderful time.

Can you sense the difference? Isn't this a change of mind worth making?

More Like Jesus

Acceptance leads away from contempt and toward compassion, which means "to suffer together":

You know, a lot of people beg for help when they desperately need her. But then they call her ‘picky’ when they don’t need her any more.

It can’t be easy to be so conveniently ‘popular’ only when people need her analytical abilities and then, afterward, suddenly become the object of scorn.

Compassion is the opposite of contempt. The opposite of making others "more like me."

It makes you and me more like God created us to be.

Compassion makes us more like Jesus.