The PURSE-onality Challenge: mentoring

I am ruining my kids’ lives.

It’s going to take years of therapy to un-do the damage.

They deserve someone better than me.

By the time my kids were pre-schoolers, these thoughts ran through my head pretty much non-stop.

I Tried at Church

I’d started out with such optimism, sitting in the front row with my newborn and toddler when Daniel was appointed pastor of a small congregation. I so wanted our little family to worship together.

But reality soon settled in...as I settled into the “Mothers’ Room.” (Although it was was more like “The Mother’s Room,” as I was the only woman in the congregation with small children!)

Week in and week out, I entered my “isolation chamber,” feeling more and more distanced from the adults in church.

I Tried at Home

I’d vowed not to be perfectionistic like my own mother. I wanted to be a fun, spontaneous, involved mom who focused on her children and really knew them.

But chaos soon settled in, bringing hordes of dust bunnies along. I invited friends over a few times, but each time I noticed the other moms rolling their eyes at my woefully inept housekeeping “skills.”

When the reciprocal invitations came, I felt ashamed as I compared their beautifully-decorated, white-carpeted homes to my mess. I stopped inviting other mothers into to my home and felt even more alone.

I Tried a Moms’ Group

I’d joined a local moms group that sponsored play dates at the park. Oh, how I longed for sympathetic mom-to-mom conversations!

But disillusionment soon settled in. I came to dread the polarizing conversations that dominated what should have been casual chit-chat:

plastic vs. cloth?!?

bottle vs. breast?!?

crib vs. family bed?!?

Ferber vs. Snugglie?!?

The more heated the debates became, the more bewildered I felt. Why were we arguing? What good was this doing any of us? Why couldn’t we just support each other? When I finally realized that I felt more alienated at the group than home alone, I quit.

Desperate

When Sarah Mae posted on Facebook, months ago, that her publisher was afraid that “Desperate” wasn’t a good title for her book, I responded with immediate vehemence:

OH, how quickly I would have snatched up a book called Desperate when my children were little!

Sarah Mae calls it “the book that came out of my secret whispers, the ‘I just can’t be a mother today’ whispers to God.

And almost two decades later, I remember those days...and those whispers.

I remember feeling

desperate for someone who understood my struggles because she’d been through the same ones herself.

desperate for someone who could tell me, “You’re all going to be okay!”

desperate for someone with a few years under her belt who could talk me through the gap between who I was as a mom and who I wanted to become.

Desperate is more than just a book. Through it, Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson are launching “A no-more-desperate-moms movement.” For more details, you can read more about it, enter the release week give-aways, and watch the promo video!

I’m giving away a copy of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe this week. Enter via the Rafflecopter below!

Your Turn!

If you’re a mother, what has made you feel most “desperate”?

Why do women get into ____ vs. ____ conversations?

How can we be more supportive of each other while maintaining our integrity?

Anything else on your heart!

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(Today's blog is a guest post by Stephanie Shott of The M.O.M. Initiative where I'm a contributing member.)

NOW, more than ever, moms need mentoring mommas who are willing to share the gift of themselves!

NOW, more than ever, Titus 2 mommas are ready to step up to the plate and pour their lives into moms!

YOU CAN BE PART OF THE REVOLUTION

OF WOMEN WHO ARE READY AND WILLING TO

TAKE TITUS 2 TO THE STREETS!

BEGIN a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area and begin to change the world, one mom at a time!

We have provided a 6 week experience with 31 stories from real moms who have walked in the shoes of the overwhelmed mom and found hope, healing and victory through walking with God and applying biblical truths to everyday life.

In Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., they share their stories.

Overwhelmed releases on January 7th, and it is our gift to the body of Christ…a FREE resource to help you begin or expand your mentoring ministry. Like Facing Our Fears ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., Overwhelmed gives mentors the tools, the confidence and the support they need to boldly step into their Titus 2 shoes and nurture those mentor/mentee relationships.

THIS IS OUR GENERATION to make a difference for such a time as this.

The M.O.M. Initiative is here for you. To be a “mentoring hub” of sorts. A place where mentors can find resources and support and share their information, so that young moms in search of a mentor can find a mentor in their area, as well as the support and encouragement they need.

NOW IS THE TIME!

WILL YOU JOIN THE REVOLUTION OF WOMEN WHO ARE WILLING AND READY TO PUT THEMSELVES OUT THERE AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

SIGN UP TODAY and you will receive Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M.

In Overwhelmed, each story includes reflective questions specifically designed to serve as conversation prompts and help foster the mentor/mentee relationship as you navigate the life of an overwhelmed mom together.

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

Schedule a time and place to meet weekly for six weeks.

You and the mentee will read through 5 stories each week and be prepared when you meet together each week.

As a mentor, you can rest in knowing, this biblically-based resource includes questions at the end of each story that are specifically designed to be a catalyst for conversation. This will give you, as a mentor, the confidence to know you won’t have to worry about that awkward silence that would normally leave you scrambling for something to say.

The questions are also written to help you, as a mentor, reflect on your own story and share your failures as well as your successes with the kind of sincere transparency that will assure your mentee that she is not alone and that her mentor isn’t Pinterest perfect either.

Your time together is a tool to nurture a relationship that will hopefully last long past the book.

Your Turn:

If you're a mother, have you had a mentor? Who? Has it been a formal or informal relationship?

Who have been your primary mentors in life (parenting or otherwise)? What vital lessons have you learned from your mentor(s)?

Anything on your heart!