Showing posts with label yes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yes. Show all posts

One Word Wednesday: Month 1


Reflecting on January, I initially wondered if my word — “cherished” — had made any real difference. It was an unusually challenging month, one I feel like I just barely survived. Did I make anyone feel cherished? I don’t know. Was I keenly aware of how much God cherishes me? Oh, how I’d love to say “Absolutely! Every moment of every day!” But that would be a serious alteration of truth.

I was ready to declare January a “cherished” failure when I remembered three seemingly unrelated events:

1) I started physical therapy in January. A year ago, I quit training for a marathon relay team because of severe pain in my left leg. As the months passed, the pain worsened, to the point that just sitting was excruciatingly painful. I chalked it up to aging.

But, as my father is fond of saying, “she who self-diagnoses has a fool for a patient and a fool for a doctor.” My highly-qualified physical therapist introduced me to my IT band, and then I introduced my IT band to an extra-firm foam roller…several times a day for a month!

I’m now pain-free and ready to run again!

My focus on “cherished” encouraged me to initiate self-care now…rather than waiting another unnecessary long, painful year!

2) Ever since I bought my laptop, I’ve noticed that the screen makes images look washed out. I heard that this is a common problem, I tried to re-calibrate the screen without success, so I just got used to it.

Unexpectedly, a few weeks ago I noticed that images on my screen suddenly looked normal! The harsh glare was gone, and I could see intricate shadings and details I’d not seen in the three years I’ve had this computer.

Then, last week, normalcy vanished and the old washed-out look returned. I started to resign myself to getting used to it again…but made a Genius Bar appointment instead. If my MacBook Pro screen could work correctly once, perhaps they could figure out how to make it work again!

Sure enough, my appointment lasted less than 3 minutes. One setting needed to be changed, and the seagulls in my website header became visible again, as did the ship captain’s wheel further down.
Before...and After!

Was this a life-or-death situation? Of course not! But I feel like my focus on “cherished” motivated me to take action toward improvement rather than settling for “good enough.”

3) A woman I’ve known for about a year asked if we could get together and talk about the similar season of life we’re both in. I agreed and then spent the next few days celebrating, “She wants to be my friend! She wants to be my friend!”

I know, I know — with my history of BFF disasters, I need to be careful. She didn’t volunteer to carry all my Anxiety Girl issues; she just asked if we could get together for coffee.

But even as I take note of my own red flags, I still think my focus on “cherished” is making me more open to give and receive friendship.

So, what common thread — if any! — connects these three events?

I think it’s “yes.”

As in “Yes, I’ll call and schedule the PT appointment. Yes, I’ll do my exercises three times a day (five times if necessary!) until I feel better so that I can say ‘yes‘ to running again.”

Yes, it’s worth the time and effort to take in my laptop to see if by any chance they say ‘yes‘ they can help me.”

Yes, I’d like to get to know you better and offer what support I can as you’re going thru stuff I understand.”

Did I spend January actively and intentionally focusing on “cherished”?

No.

But did “cherished” focus me in January?

Without a doubt: yes!

If you're a blogger, I'd love for you to link up with a One Word post!



3 Steps to Prevent Holiday Stress

It's Warm-Up Week for October's PURSE-onality Challenge: "A Holiday-Ready Heart"!  Here's a handy checklist to make sure you're all ready. (And if you're a blogger, grab the button on the right, let me know you've added it to your site, and I'll add you to my blogroll!)

This week's give-away is for The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. (It's a Gregory Family tradition to have Daniel read this aloud to us every Christmas Eve...and for him to choke up at the end!)  3 names will be drawn -- enter via the Rafflecopter at the end of the blog post or click here to enter!

* * * * * 

I really don't want my December looking like this again this year!
When I started reading Stumbling on Happiness a couple of years ago, I didn't expect to have my lifetime of procrastination and last-minute anxiety explained.

I didn't even think I needed (or deserved) an explanation beyond "Cheri's a Sanguine, and Sanguines are flakes."

Here's a new concept I find simultaneously comforting and challenging...and potentially practical for pray-paring A Holiday-Ready Heart.


Far Away vs. Close Up

Gilbert points out that when we see little black specks on a prairie horizon, we recognize them -- visually -- to be buffalo located far away. 

We do not look at them and think, "They are tiny; thus, they must be insects."  The fact that they are vague and blurry signals to our brains that they are far away.


Conversely, we recognize insects not just because they are small but also because we see the wings and legs; we see details!  Visually, we do very well at recognizing that vagueness and blurriness indicate distance while details signal closeness.

When a buffalo comes walking across the prairie toward us, we do not act shocked that it has hooves or fur or eyelashes or other details we couldn't see when it was far away. We know that the closer it comes, the more details we will see.  

This is normal for us, at least visually.


Future vs. Present

However, when it comes to dealing with time –- specifically planning for the future, –- some of us can go “all wonky” (as my daughter would say)!

When I "see" something on the horizon of my future, it's all vague and blurry. 

I have a "feel" for it. 

This vague, blurry feel is typically the why of the future event, and I make my decisions based on that why.

But as that vague and blurry future gets closer, inevitably becoming the up-close detailed present, I am shocked -- positively appalled! -- by all the details I did not agree to! The myriad details of the how throw me into fits. 

Gilbert illustrates this by asking how many times we've committed to something a month or two ahead of time, thrilled by the concept of being (for example) a doting aunt and loving sister: "Yes, I'd love to babysit my nephews!"  

But when the time actually comes, the reality of screaming children, runny noses, and poopy diapers bears no resemblence to what I initially agreed upon because I agreed to the why of a concept not the how of the details

Getting PURSE-onal

Applying this to myself as a (50%) Sanguine, and I’ve got nothing but trouble!  I’m a visionary, so I love saying "yes" to new ideas!  I love the ideas. I love how I expect I’ll feel when the vague, blurry idea occurs!

But as the commitment draws closer, my (50%) Choleric side knows it should be checking details off a list. Well, Sanguine Cheri didn't sign up for no stinkin' details. I signed up for a glorious why

Finally, when disaster is imminent, Choleric Cheri knows she has to take action.  Having procrastinated as long as possible (because Sanguine Cheri wants to bask in the splendor of the glorious why as long as possible before reality comes crashing down around her.) I am then stuck trying to execute dozens, if not hundreds, of soul-killing details in an absurdly short period of time.

To live from a holiday-ready heart, I will pause long enough to take into consideration both the why of a concept and the how of the details before making a commitment



3 Steps to Prevent Holiday Stress

Here are the three steps I'll be taking when I'm invited to make a commitment that I think might be a good fit for me:

1)  I will take time to think. 24 to 48 hours, minimum. (My people-pleasing knee-jerk "yes" has gotten me into too much trouble over the years!) I will set aside time for prayer and quiet listening. Then I'll spend 15-20 minutes brainstorming every possible detail that needs to be dealt with in order for this new commitment to be a success by my standards.

2)  I'll take my list to Daniel and ask him what worst case scenarios I've left off my list. As a Melancholy, he is well qualified to "rain on my parade," and pre-commitment is when I want (or at least need!) to have my spirits dampened.

3)  I will then prayerfully consider whether or not I can say "yes" to everything on the list. Not just the vague and blurry why of glory, but also to all the nitty-gritty details required to get me there. 

If I say "no," thank heavens for all involved!

If I say "yes," then I'll prioritize all those brainstormed details, add them to my calendar, and start chipping away at them so I can actually enjoy the why when it rolls around.


Your Turn
  • Are you more of a "big picture" or "detail-oriented" person? How has this influenced your holiday experiences?
  • When you say "yes" to a commitment, are you typically saying "yes" to the why, the details, or both?
  • Anything else on your heart!


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