The PURSE-onality Challenge: Thoughts

A few highlights before our final Warm-Up Week blog:

1) Give-Away drawing for Kay Warren’s Dangerous Surrender ends soon! All comments April 22-30 will be entered and one name drawn on May 1st.

2) In case you missed the video at the end of Warm-Up Day #8, here’s the link: http://youtu.be/iu9Y7huYScg

3) The feedback some of you have sent via e-mail and Facebook is such a blessing to me! With permission, I’d like to share this from Laura Luyt:

I just was prompted to send you a quick email as I was just skimming through your eBook [Top Ten Priceless Gifts That Don’t Cost a Dime for Each PURSE-onality] about the 4 personalities.

I don't even know if you'll get this, but I just have to say THANK YOU.

Thank you for explaining them... although I cannot figure out which one I am (I seem to be all of them!) but reading through the GIFTS for each type... it. has. me. in. tears.

I am eager to read on and learn more, and begin to study each of my children, myself, my husband, and learn to give them the gifts that mean something important to them. WHAT A GIFT! To learn what really means something to them in their language, and then gift it to them. THANK YOU.

Tears, I tell you! Spilling down. Washing. Exciting and promising.

Bless you.

I am blessed to hear that something I’ve shared is making a difference! Really, that’s what The PURSE-onality Challenge (and life!) is all about. My dad used to tell me that “sharing the gospel is simply one beggar telling another beggar where he found food.”

One day, early in our marriage, Daniel was sitting on the floor in front of me, massaging my feet, while I was giving him a neck rub. My neck was absolutely killing me, and all the effort he was putting into my feet seemed like such a waste!

Suddenly it occurred to me to ask him, “Would you prefer a foot massage?” And he tentatively asked me, “Would you rather have a neck rub?” We laughed, switched places, and soon we both felt wonderful.

We’d each been giving gifts we wanted to receive, which was natural and even sweet. But neither of us received a real gift until we switched places and got what we truly needed. Over time, if we’d kept up this habit, we would have both felt unappreciated and misunderstood.

Romans 12:18 says “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” The better I understand each PURSE-son’s “gift language,” the more fully I can do the part that depends on me to live at peace.

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Now, back to our regularly-scheduled blogging!

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For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Since the real deal (finally!) starts tomorrow, I thought I’d share the nitty-gritty of what The PURSE-onality Challenge looks and sounds like for me.

Step 1: My husband walks into the kitchen while I’m working on a blog post. I can’t get the font sizing to work right, so I start griping out loud, “What on earth are are you doing?”

Daniel, ever the gentleman, asks me, “What are you trying to do?” to which I feel the urge to snap, “Nothing! I wasn’t talking to you!” (While thinking None of your business! I don’t need your help! Quit trying to solve my problems!)

Since the Holy Spirit has recently pointed out that I start complaining aloud within 10 seconds of Daniel entering the kitchen, I own my problem by switching my bracelet from one wrist to the other. I surrender my font frustration to God: Lord, I'm frustrated and feel like taking it out on Daniel. Take this from me. I don't want it in my heart or coming out my mouth. And I say nothing aloud to Daniel.

Step 2: I pull out my PURSE-onality “gift card” (yes, even though I've been learning and teaching this for 30 years, when I'm upset, I need my cue card!) and spotlight a strength Daniel brings to my life: analysis.

Step 3: I open scripture, pull out a Bible verse card, or recall from memory,
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4),
intentionally replacing my “baditude” with God’s word.

Step 4: I choose thoughts of gratitude for a husband who loves to analyze and solve problems. I grab my journal and write a few lines:

Today I’m praying...that Daniel feel my appreciation of his analytical abilities.

Today I’m watching for...an opportunity to thank Daniel for the ways he blesses me with his gift of analysis.

Today I’m appreciating...all the times Daniel has analyzed my computer and brought it back from the grave!

Q: So, Cheri, do you step through these perfectly every time?

A: Oh, puh-leaze.

Q: Do you feel super spiritual as you move into Step 1? (or at least by Step 4?)

A: Mmmm, not so much.

Q: Then what does happen for you as you go through these steps over and over again?

A: Over time, I’ve noticed that

I’m becoming more open to the Holy Spirit’s leading as he shows me ways in which I am “waging war as the world does” (my habits of complaining, criticism, gossip, and sarcasm!)

I’m becoming more intentional about seeking “divine power to demolish strongholds” (reaching for God’s word)

I’m sensing myself growing and seeing my relationships improving as I “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (stopping “baditude” and, instead, thinking gratitude)

Check it out: Christy from One Fun Mom has a great post called “Taking My Thoughts Captive {and a printable of God’s promises}” over at The Better Mom

Q4U:

Leave a comment to be entered into this week's drawing for a copy of Dangerous Surrender: What Happens When You Say "Yes" to God by Kay Warren!

What does 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 say to you today?

What questions do you have as we prepare to start The PURSE-onality Challenge?

What else has God laid on your heart as you've read this?

The PURSE-onality Challenge: 31 days of replacing "baditude" with God's Word and Gratitude!

Click here for more details!

Warm-Up Week, Day 1: What's Wrong With It?

Warm-Up Week, Day 2: The Heart and Mouth Connection

Warm-Up Week, Day 3: Tunnel of Grudge or a New Train of Thought?

Warm-Up Week, Day 4: Complaining vs. Problem-Solving

Warm-Up Week, Day 5: The Perks and Perils of "Being Heard"

Warm-Up Week, Day 6: Fixating on Weaknesses

Warm-Up Week, Day 7: Spotlighting Strengths

Warm-Up Week, Day 8: Cleaning Out These PURSE-onalities

I’m a grudge-holder.

Not your common every day average grudge-holder.

No way.

If grudge-holding were an olympic sport, I’d be the gold medalist and world record holder.

I vividly remember

The best friend who moved, promising we’d write. I wrote; she didn’t.

The best friend who dumped me, saying, “I’m not losing anything, I’m throwing it away, because that’s what you do with trash.”

The best friend who stole my boyfriend and then kept coming to me for relationship advice.

And that’s just 4th-8th grade! (There’s a BFF theme here, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog post!)

Daniel and I married young, so I quickly adapted my BFF grudge-holding skills into DH grudge-holding skills.

He’d say something in five short seconds that I could rehearse, mull, and stew over for hours, days, weeks, months, and even years!

Tunnel Thinking

On my own,

I think how valid my point of view truly is.

I think how noble my intentions were.

I think how right I (almost) always am.

I think how pure my motives have (usually) been.

I think how lovely it would be for everyone to agree with me!

I think how much I love having people admire me; seeing “excellent!” written at the top of my papers; being praised for my accomplishments.

On my own, I think me, my, I.

On my own, I think self.

On my own, I am self-ish.

A New Train of Thought

Philippians 4:8 offers a radically different way of thinking:

Finally, brothers,

whatever is true,

whatever is noble,

whatever is right,

whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable–

whatever is excellent or praiseworthy–

think on these things.

Get on Board!

We can stay in the dark tunnel of self, nursing grudges.

We can rehearse thinking “poor me” and “oh my” and “If only I.” We can throw ourselves a pity party (which isn’t much of a party, as nobody brings gifts and the entertainment is terrible!)

Or we can jump on board and get moving from where we are now to where God wants us to be. Where He has plans for us to be. Where He is eagerly anticipating us to be.

We can’t do both. We have to choose:

The seemingly “safe” tunnel of grudge-holding?

A no-baggage-needed adventure on a new train of thought?