Showing posts with label envy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label envy. Show all posts

Stop Buying to Become

“Bump! Bang! Bash!”

I should have checked immediately...walked out my classroom door to see about the commotion.

But right as I decided to halt instruction (for what felt like the hundredth time that hour), the hallway noises fell silent.

Later, I noticed this:


Yeah, I should have checked immediately.

Evidently a couple of nameless boys were “rough-housing” when they slammed themselves into the display case.

The one I paid for.

With my own money.

Replacing the plexiglass would cost the same as replacing the entire display case. So I’m faced with
  • leaving it (ugly)
  • replacing it (costly)
  • removing it (time-consuming)



Upset With...

I’m not just upset with the boys who broke something for which I’d paid good money.

I’m upset with myself for buying them in the first place.

You see, this is one of four display cases that I ordered and had mounted on the wall outside my classroom.

My vision was that I would become the kind of teacher who displays student work. 
  • Their writing.  
  • Their art.  
  • Their photography.

But that was several years ago, and as you can see, all that’s in this one display case is a poster promoting a writing contest to my seniors.


The other three display cases?  

Empty.

Why? 

Oh, we could be here all day exploring the answer to that simple question!  I’m…
  • non-visual!
  • over-committed!
  • global-abstract (rather than concrete-specific)!


Broken Thinking

Yes, I’m frustrated that the boys broke the display case. But not just because of the money.

Mostly, it's because they made more obvious something that was broken from the start:  

the idea that if I buy ___, I'll become someone who ___.

For me, it was the idea that if I bought the display cases, I’d become someone who displays student work.

You probably haven't bought a display case (or 4!) recently.

But perhaps you’ve bought...
  • ...a size-whatever dress, in hopes you'll become someone who has a size-whatever body?
  • ...a gourmet cookbook, so that you’ll become someone who cooks amazing gourmet meals?
  • ...a stenciling / scrapbooking / stamping / whatever-craft-is-hot-for-women-to-do-these-days kit, believing that this time you’ll become someone who stencils / scrapbooks / stamps / crafts?

Buying something to become someone who...is a temptation year-round. But for me, it peaks in December. 

Everywhere I look, I see women who so-and-so better than I do. And it’s so easy to believe that if I buy such-and-such, then I will become someone who so-and-soes, too!

My broken display case has been a jarring reminder that buying something to become someone wastes the resources God’s entrusted to me.

And ultimately, buying to become wastes the someone who He’s already paid for me to be. 


God bought you with a high price.
1 Corinthians 6:20a (NLT)



Your Turn:

  • What items are you most likely to "buy to become"?
  • What does it mean to you, in the midst of your daily life, that "you were bought at a price" (NIV)?
  • Anything else on your heart!




Coming in January!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Back Home from a Healthy and Hope-filled Trip


Sorry for the silence around here. I'd planned to blog daily while on the road but chose to rest instead. 


This was by far the healthiest trip I've ever taken. I adjusted to Eastern time during the week prior to leaving so that I was alert at fully present during all meetings (vs. exhausted and desperate to get to bed.)  


I exercised each morning, keeping my chronic pain issues to a minimum (vs. major back pain from being crammed in a plane seat and then sitting in meetings all day.) 


I felt admiration and excitement for the other women and their amazing ideas, insights, projects, gifts, and talents. 


But I can honestly say that I did not feel envy. 


Which is huge, as jealousy has been a life-long battle for me...alway accompanied by a barrage of negative comparative self-talk about how my clothes, shoes, hair, make-up, face, body, nails, voice, gestures, etc. don't "measure up" to someone else's.


For once, I did not want to be anyone else or even "be just like" anyone else. 


The more excited I got for other women, the more excited I got about just being me.


And did I ever learn a TON about how to become the woman God is calling me to be!


(Image altered to respect others' privacy.)
One of the most memorable moments for me was in the prayer room at She Speaks. I was profoundly moved to find which name of God held my name. 


I had expected to be reminded of my past and focused on all the work I need to be doing in my present to "fix" my past. 


Instead, I was reminded that God knows my past, He has taken care of my past, and I am free to enjoy what He's creating in my present!


I keep hearing and experiencing Romans 15:13:  


May the God of hope 
fill you with all joy and peace 
as you trust in Him
that you may overflow with hope 
by the power of the Holy Spirit."