Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts

Mistakes Aren't Magic Slates (in 33 words)



I made a mistake last week and started fretting:
  • What does this mean? 
  • About me? 
  • About my progress?

Then, a friend reminded me:

"One mistake doesn't erase all the work God's done."

(Whew!)


And I am certain that God,
who began the good work within you,
will continue his work
until it is finally finished
on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Philippians 1:6



Your Turn:
  • Do you tend to take too much responsibility for everything or two little?
  • Do you ever feel like you've "ruined everything" with a single "oops"?
  • Anything else on your heart!


Coming in January!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Grace for the Good Girl: Which Voice?

August 1-14, I'll be blogging as I read through Emily Freeman's Grace for the Good Girl. Each week, I'll give away a free copy of her book! Enter via the Rafflecopter here.

(I'm in Nashville presenting workshops at a teachers' convention; I'll catch up with comments and e-mails in a few days!)

Hearing Voices

A few quotes from Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman:

"I knew how to listen to the spirit of fear. I had not yet learned the voice of the Spirit of God."

[referring to taunts from cruel boys in childhood]:  "...even though I'm a grown-up now and I can rationalize that those boys were simply insecure and thoughtless, it doesn't change my mind. I still believe what they said even though I am grown."

[referring to praise and accolades from grown-ups] "...instead of simply interpreting their words as encouragement, I internalized them and let them become a standard to continue reaching for. I put extreme pressure on myself to live up to the good girl in their minds. I wanted people to see me as able, even as young as elementary school. I let their proud words define me and lead me to a puffed-up self-dependence, leaving little room for Jesus."


On Day 2 of The PURSE-onality Challenge, I wrote:



What I Hear...

In her book For Men Only (Yes, I read it; please don't tell on me!), Shaunti Feldhahn quotes a woman from her survey saying, "women are truly verbal and can't help it....the things [people] say to us are in mental tape archives and are as real today as they were the moment they were spoken."

I don't know about you, but this sure hit home for me! 

For almost a quarter of a century, my husband has wondered why I purposely rehearse painful conversations in my mind, re-evoking old emotions. 

I don't do it on purpose. It's just that as a woman, so often what I hear I take to heart 





Fear vs. Love

The scripture I'm pondering as I process all of this is 1 John 4:18:


There is no fear in love. 
But perfect love drives out fear, 
because fear has to do with punishment. 
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

If there's anything a "good girl" fears, it's punishment...the ultimate "proof" that she's messed up and, thus, is no longer good.

But when I live to avoid punishment, I live out of fear, not love.

A few months ago, I started pondering this question:  Why do I keep trying so hard to do what God's already done?

Do I really think I can do more than what Christ already did on the cross? 

The issue of punishment was handled at the cross when Jesus said, "It is finished."

It's time to stop listening to the voice of fear. To stop taking fear to heart.

To hear, instead, the words of God.

And take Him–and His love–to heart.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Day 12: INSEPARABLE

Our Give-Away for Today!


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Miserable & Mad
Our 9-pounds-with-a-90-pound-attitude cat, Dusty, came home from the vet on Tuesday, sporting a bright green splint. 
She is miserable. 
And mad. 
At me. 
For “doing this to her.”
Oh, how I wish she could speak my language!
I want to explain to her what happened: she dislocated a bone.  
Why I did what I did: allowed the vet to anesthetize, Xray, and cast her so she’ll heal.
Why I’m doing what I’m doing: keeping her confined to the laundry room.
But she doesn’t speak my language. So I’m speaking hers: Holding her. Petting her. 

She understands holding and petting. If only she understood more!
Baby Talk
When a baby is learning to talk, how much “grown-up language” does she understand? Not much.

How much “baby talk” do her parents understand? A whole lot!
In Annemarie’s baby book, I recorded hundreds of “translations” from her “baby talk” to “grown-up language.”  
“Gaggie” meant “blankie.”
“Gunk” meant “milk.”
Oh, I spoke her language well!

Grown-Up Language

Annemarie just turned 21. She hasn’t used words like “gaggie” or “gunk” for years. In fact, I’m constantly giving her props for using wonderful words in everyday conversation. 
Why am I daily thrilled by her extensive vocabulary? 
True, as her verbal skills expanded, Annemarie expressed herself more precisely. But I didn’t need her to speak my language in order to understand her. 
When she was little, it was Annemarie who needed to learn my language so she could understand me.
I had so much I wanted to tell her about myself! So much I knew she would understand better if only she could speak my language!
“Grown-up language” allows breadth, depth, and nuance impossible with baby talk.

Learning His Word
When first I saw Deb Roy’s TED talk The Birth of a Word, I was deeply moved by the precious one-minute “time lapse audio” segment of a child learning his first word.


(If you can not view embedded video, click here for 1.5 minute video segment.)
(If the 1.5 minute video segment does not function, click here for the full video and watch  from 04:19 to 05:50.)
Each time I’ve played this segment at a women’s retreat, the audience reacts the same way during the clip:  listening in rapt attention, leaning forward as if to coax the child along somehow, smiling at each other as “baby talk” gives way to “grown up language.”  

And responses at the end are always the same: We burst out in spontaneous applause and celebration! Yes, he nailed it!
Is this is how God sees me as I am learning His Word?  

Listening, leaning forward, cheering as I “nail it”?
Now He can tell me so much more about Himself! 
Now I will understand Him so much better!
A One-Way Language Barrier
(Can't see the image? Click here to download Romans 8:39)

God allows nothing – not even my failure to grow up and leave baby talk behind – stand in the way of His love to me.
He's always stooped to speak my language, my “baby talk.”
But limited by baby talk, I’ve misunderstand Him much of my life.
I’ve been miserable and mad, blaming Him for “doing this to me.”


While He was longing to tell me all about Himself!

About what’s happened. 
Why He’s done what He’s done. 
Why He’s doing what He’s doing.
Always, He's held me and comforted me, wishing “If only she understood more!
Fluent in God’s Word
When I was a child, I memorized scripture for two reasons: recognition and prizes. Oh, how I loved my rows of gold stickers! And my Oriental Trading Company “Jesus junk”! 
When I got older, nobody offered me gold stickers. My motivation gone, I stuck with “baby talk”: My thoughts. My feelings. My perceptions. My way. Oh, My. Me. My!
But now that I’m immersing myself in God’s Word as the way out of my self, I’m discovering that it’s the vocabulary for His “grown up” language! 
The more I nail it, the less constrained we are by mere “baby talk”! 
The more I learn His word, the more He reveals Himself, and the better I understand Him!
The more I conversational I become in His Word, the less miserable and mad I am.
The better I’m understanding what’s happened.
Why He’s done what He’s done.
Why He’s doing what He’s doing.
And the more I’m experiencing the breadth, depth, and nuance of his limitless love!




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To enter today’s drawing, leave a comment 
  • responding to today’s blog, and/or
  • sharing your Day #1-12 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
  • about anything else on your heart!
Drawing winners 6-10 will be announced soon!

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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)

Day 9: NEW


Our Give-Away for Today!
31 Days to a Younger You
If 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40, how is the average woman supposed to keep up?  There has got to be an easier way to look younger than Botox treatments, yo-yo dieting or plastic surgery. 

Author Arlene Pellicane reminds women that they’re never too old to trade their mundane life for a daily adventure, but they have to be willing to do something rather than to simply hope for it.  31 Days to a Younger You is filled with health and beauty tips, combined with spiritual encouragement.  The best part?  It only takes 5-10 minutes a day for busy women to get their daily RX (Rejuvenation/eXpression) for the heart (Days 1-9), the mind (Days 10-16), and the body (Days 17-31). 

Arlene Pellicane has been featured on Better, The Hour of Power, The 700 Club, Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah and TLC’s Home Made Simple. 31 Days to a Happy Husband comes out in August.  You can follow her on Facebook and sign up to receive Free Monthly Tips for a Happier Life.



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New Life


The impossible happened: I enjoyed lunch. 

I didn’t count calories.
I didn’t obsess over whether to order “just a salad” or an entre.
I didn’t play with my food and take it to go, nor did I scarf it all down.
For the first time in 5 years, I simply enjoyed lunch.
No old tapes played. No old behaviors cropped up. Even as I realized all this, three hours after the meal, no anxiety arose to choke my joy.
Free

Finally free!

My old life of compulsive eating/starving, calorie charts and weight logs, self-centered obsessing, all gone.
A new life had begun!

Become a New Person


















(Can't see image? Click here for 2 Corinthians 5:17)

On Day 7, I shared my story of how Christ set me free from the eating disorder that was destroying me.


While I hoped for change the night I surrendered my life to Christ, I knew I'd changed the day I went out to lunch with my boss.


I hadn't been trying not to think about calories. 


I hadn't been trying not to obsess over the menu. 


I hadn't been trying to eat slowly without overstuffing myself


I simply enjoyed lunch.


I knew I was new!
What New People Do
The verse just before today’s says 

“So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. ” (2 Cor 5:16a)
When we are new, we stop accusing and start accepting. 
When we are new, we run from contempt and toward compassion.
“And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ.” (2 Cor 5:18a)
We didn’t do any of this on our own. 
It’s all a gift:  Forgiveness. Freedom. New life.

“And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.” (2 Cor 5:19b)
Yet another gift:  reconciliation
So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, ‘Come back to God! (2 Cor 5:20)

Do New People …?
Complaining doesn’t seem to fit under the heading “What New People Do.”
Neither does criticizing.
Or gossipping.
Or sarcasm.
Ambassadors don’t need self-defense strategies. 
Especially when the victory is already won! 

A New Way
Relating to others (especially people who get on my nerves!) without complaining+ is still very new to me. 
You’ve heard that it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill? Well, I’m a lot closer to 1,000 than 10,000 hours!
And yet, I’ve been blessed with such clear results already.
I have a student–we’ll call her Tracy–who has gotten on my nerves for several years. She’s so Choleric, with zero desire to please, and not an ounce of tact. Anything she doesn’t like, she verbalizes immediately, loudly, and very publicly. 
Within the first week of school this year, she was pushing my buttons: “Mrs. Gregory, WHY DO WE HAVE TO… I DON’T THINK IT’S FAIR THAT…YOU’RE WRONG ABOUT…”  
And I reacted poorly: I went on the defense, babbled like an idiot, and felt stupid afterward.
By the end of first quarter, I was sick and tired. Not just of Tracy, but of the relentless negativity ruling my heart, dominating my mind, and spewing from my mouth. 


I decided to try something I hadn’t done since I was a child earning gold stars: memorize scripture.  
Knowing how terrible I am at memorization, I printed and laminated cards that I could carry around. Any time I had to wait (which for a Choleric is torture!) I’d pull out my card for the day and keep rehearsing it. 
Honestly, it felt like a chore. Like I was studying for school. My devotional time didn’t suddenly skyrocket. My sense of closeness to God didn’t dramatically improve. 
The “only” thing that happened is that I started interrupting the complaining+ going through my mind and replacing it with a Bible verse.
And that, in itself, was a huge relief. I’d never before found any way to stop the negativity. Now, I could. 
But then came the day when Tracy came up to me, right as I was starting class, and started chewing me out about her grade: “You never told us...you didn’t write it on the board...it’s not right for you to…”
As she blasted me, I felt everything shift into silent slow motion. I could see her mouth moving, but I no longer heard what she was saying. Remarkably, I didn’t feel defensive.  
As I looked at her, Ephesians 2:10 came to mind:
"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  
        
I thought, “Tracy, you don’t realize that you are God’s masterpiece, do you? You don’t see yourself as created anew in Christ Jesus.”
My heart broke for her. 
And this has totally changed how I relate to her. 

I now see how hard she tries, how much she struggles, how unhappy she is. I see the tremendous potential buried under a facade designed to keep people away.
No, we’re not BFFs. On a recent class trip, I snapped at her before we left campus and then realized I was in the wrong. As soon as we arrived, I sought her out to apologize. 

Before I could open my mouth, she said, “I was telling my friends on the way here how bad I felt for what I said and how much I wanted to apologize to you.” 
As two Cholerics, we almost got into an argument about who should apologize first and the most!
What a transformation from the old to the new!
Yes, in Tracy, but most importantly in me! 

As new people, we have a new way to treat people: as new people.

Try this today: As you're dealing with a difficult person, imagine them as a new person. (Checking for strengths on your PURSE-onality "gift card" may help!) Ask yourself: "How can I treat this person as a new person in Christ?" Pray to see and treat her/him via God's eyes and heart.


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To enter today’s drawing, leave a comment 
  • responding to today’s blog, and/or
  • sharing your Day #1-9 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
  • about anything else on your heart!
Drawing winners 6-8 will be announced soon!
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(Catch up on any "Warm-Up Week" Blog Posts!)