August 1-14, I'll be blogging as I read through Emily Freeman's Grace for the Good Girl. Each week, I'll give away a free copy of her book! Enter via the Rafflecopter here.
“I felt as if an invisible good girl was following me around wherever I went, showing up without permission to shame and blame and scold….She embodied the good girl version of my current life stage and shamed me accordingly: good student, good leader, good wife, and good mom.
She represented the girl I wanted to be but could never live up to. I constantly worried that my imperfect status would be discovered. I often experienced guilt but didn’t know why. I felt the heavy weight of impossible expectations and had the insatiable desire to explain every mistake. My battle with shame was constant and hovering.”
Emily Freeman, Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-Hard Life
I got to hear Emily Freeman present at the She Speaks Conference a couple weeks ago. The information she shared was excellent; her off-hand comments and ad-lib comedy were even better!
Later, I introduced myself in an over-eager babble of incoherence. The only half-intelligent thing I said was, “I’m so glad for you and your children that you’ve figured this out now rather than waiting ‘til you’re my age.”
I jokingly told Emily that I envied her – just a bit! – for taking off her good girl “masks” so young.
just a bit
Who do I think I’m kidding?
Ten years ago, when I first wrote and shared my testimony, Florence Littauer was surprised by my “good girl” approach. She said she’d never heard anyone give a “good girl” testimony and encouraged me to develop it into my keynote talk.
That was all the encouragement I needed, of course, to freeze in fear and do what came so naturally:
What I didn’t tell Emily is that I envied her – more than just a bit! – for writing the book I was supposed to write.
“the heavy weight of impossible expectations”
Okay, the book I wish I had written but too many complicating factors and poor choices and just plain “life” got in the way.
“the insatiable desire to explain every mistake”
All right, the book that I would have written...if only...
“My battle with shame was constant and hovering”
Yeah, I envied Emily.
Then I recognized my invisible good girl at work and told her to go take a hike, packing all her “supposed to”s and “wish I had”s and “if only”s with her.
Far greater than my fleeting envy is my eagerness to read Grace for the Good Girl.
‘cause my name is Cheri, and I am a “Good Girl”...
...who needs all the grace she can get!
Your turn!
- What's been your experience of being a "good girl"?
- In what ways have you lived "the try-hard life"?
- What would "letting go" mean for you?