"We're told to 'Fake it 'til you make it!' But what if you never 'make it'?"
I had no idea what to make of that question until yesterday, when I read these Facebook status updates by my friend Shonna Dalusong:
"Cluttered heart = cluttered calendar, cluttered priorities, cluttered relationships, cluttered home. Is there clutter in your life?"
"I grew up holding onto 'stuff' for 'just in case.' It hit me today how much self-sufficiency is in that. If I have everything I need at any time to solve any problem or provide for any of my needs, where does trust and God-sufficiency come in?"
And I thought back to several clutter-related blog posts
- "Stop Buying to Become" which I wrote just before Christmas
- "Trapped by the Trappings", a guest post by Katy McKenna that has greatly unsettled me
- "Stewardship vs. Storing Stuff" which I wrote 2 years ago
Then it hit me:
When I "fake it 'til I make it" -- but never actually "make it" -- I'm just a faker.
A poser.
A wannabe.
So of course I'm going to fill my nothingness with clutter!
I desperately need the trappings of success, or at least progress, so that everyone will think I'm real.
My stuff serves as evidence that I'm still "making it."
FITYMA Has Its Place
I'm not bashing the "fake it 'til you make it" concept.
I remember all-too-clearly the sheer panic I felt when Annemarie and I were discharged from the hospital on March 26, 1991.
I felt like telling the nurses, "You're making a huge mistake! I've never even babysat let alone changed a diaper! I have no clue what to do with this baby once you hand her over to me!"
Eight hours after we got home, I frantically called the hospital to speak to a nurse because Annemarie had slept the entire time, and I didn't know how to wake her up...or even if I should.
No doubt about it: sometimes, "fake it 'til you make it" is the only MO available.
The Line Between My Life & My Lie
How can I tell when my purpose has shifted from working hard at actually "making it" to just the continuation of "faking it"?
How do I recognize when, as Katy put it, the gathering of my trappings completely replaces my original goal...and even deceives me into believing I'm achieving my true goal?
No Easy Answers
I'd love to wrap this blog post up with eight easy answers, but no can do.
This is all too new.
I've got a lot of prayer, silence and solitude, and scripture searching to do before I try to offer up any wisdom.
This feels big, at least for me.
WAY big.
Way bigger than let's-just-clean-out-the-unused-pet-paraphenalia cupboard.
- More like question-every-book-on-my-shelves big.
- More like what-if-my-clutter-is-my-cherished-sin big.
- More like search-me-Oh-God-and-know-my-heart big.
What Do You Think?
So I'll close for today by inviting you to share your thoughts and experiences.
- How do you know when you've crossed the line between "Making It" and "Faking It"?
- When can you tell that the trappings have overtaken your original goal?
- Anything else on your heart!
Coming in January!
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