After I posted “Stop Buying to Become Someone” on Wednesday, I noticed Katy had launched a conversation on the same basic topic. She’s graciously given me permission to share her insights with you today!
But first, this hilarious comment Katy added to Wednesday's post:
Oh, Cheri, you got me good on this one. I have far too many examples to list here. But I'll throw out tennis stuff, since I've already thrown out tennis, hahaha. When I was about 20, three girlfriends and I decided to be a foursome on the tennis court. I had never held a racket in my life, but could just SEE myself in a darling outfit. (I'm partial to having the right outfit to waste the rest of my money in.) I went out and bought a tiny-skirted costume, socks, shoes, racket, balls, and I think a little visor cap, also. And we played tennis! Once. I have never hated an hour more in my life. I knew then that I'd probably always have a tiny problem with "style over substance." And by golly, I have.....
Accumulating “the Trappings”
So on the episode of Hoarders I watched this morning, a 66-year-old man accumulated construction materials and tools and how-to books and magazines for the handyman. He owned several rental properties besides the main house, shared with his wife and adult daughter---neither of whom were hoarders.
The rental properties, which he'd owned and had intended to remodel and rent out, were filled with his hoard, as was the main house. The properties could have been bringing in $4000 in monthly income, but had never been rented out in DECADES. They were his storage units for the very stuff he could have used to make them profitable.
The psychologist involved in the story said that the man had developed his identity by surrounding himself with the trappings of a carpenter, remodeler, and handyman, but that he wasn't actually DOING those things. In fact, his properties were the worst maintained of anyone's.
Releasing “the Trappings”
In response to watching this episode, I got rid of umpteen writing books I am not using. (I kept the best ones.) Would I rather surround myself with too much stuff that makes me LOOK like a writer, or actually BE a writer? Substance over trappings, always.
The gathering of the "trappings" can come to completely replace the true goal, and can also deceive you into believing you're achieving the true goal. Hey, I've read all these books--I MUST be a writer! When that can only be determined by actual words on an actual page--MY WORDS.
Owning a treadmill and a recumbent bike doesn't make me someone who exercises, either. It does make me look like I might have exercised, though, and makes me feel good about my potential for exercising. But that's all, besides taking up space.
Owning a treadmill and a recumbent bike doesn't make me someone who exercises, either. It does make me look like I might have exercised, though, and makes me feel good about my potential for exercising. But that's all, besides taking up space.
Downsizing and Moving On
Downsizing is NOT easy or for the weak-willed! I figure the time is now, not ten years from now when we might be sick or tired or lack resolve. We're chipping away at it so that when the time comes to move out of "the big house," we'll actually be able to.
Move on to creating new things. THIS should be the goal, right? Not collecting or holding onto to stuff that keeps us from creating.
Closing Comments from Cheri
Thank you, Katy!!!
For several months, I’ve been thinking, “I should thin out my teaching books.” But I’ve not been able to, and Katy’s words, here, help me understand why: I’ve been holding on to “the Trappings” of being a certain kind of teacher without ever actually becoming that kind of teacher.
Based on my shelves, I’d need at least 50 consecutive teaching careers to become every single “kind” of teacher I’ve got books telling me how to become!
Now I realize that it’s time to get rid of the obvious mis-matches -- the books that promote a type of teaching contradictory to who I am -- and keep a select, manageable library of the books that help me maximize my God-given strengths and manage my PURSE-onality weaknesses.
Your Turn:
- What “Trappings” are you holding on to? What might help you let them go more easily?
- When have “the Trappings” replaced the original goal for you?
- How have you successfully downsized in an area of your life?
- Anything else on your heart!
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