During November and December, I'll be studying hope. I'll be sharing what I learn here, in a series called "Hope for the Holidays and Everydays". This week, I'm giving away a copy of Karen Ehman's new book LET. IT. GO.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith.
My knee-jerk reactions are terrible.
I desperately want
- to “shoot from the hip”
- to “go with my gut”
- to "just have an intuition…”
But I know myself far too well.
When the Northridge Earthquake struck in the 90’s, we lived in Southern California. I woke from deep sleep to the sound of a freight train hitting the house.
My knee-jerk reaction was to bolt for the front door.
I nearly killed myself staggering and falling down two flights of stairs, since I’m legally blind without my glasses.
My intuition checked me at the door, telling me to stay in the house.
Why?
Because it was a very hot night, and I’d gone to bed...er..."au naturale".
My level-headed husband, in contrast, was standing in the kids’ room doorway, our 2-year-old on one hip, and our 4-year-old on the other. (Our kids know, without a doubt, who to trust in crisis!)
When I shoot from the hip, my sights are never set on others -- not even my children.
My gut reaction is always a self-centered save yourself!
My gut reaction is always a self-centered save yourself!
And yet, I assure myself that my knee-jerk reactions are bound to get better with time.
Next time, for sure.
So it’s no mystery that I, living in this kind of denial, effortlessly committed Faux-Pas #3 and #4.
Faux-Pas #3: Failure to Pause before Proclaiming
I wait for the LORD,
my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
Psalm 130:5
At one point during the meeting, I was so taken aback by something one of my colleagues said that I blurted out, “If that’s the direction this conversation is going to go, then I’m heading home to eat.”
Translation: If that’s how you’re going to be, I’m leaving.
Not particularly high on the maturity scale. I recognized this, and I became even more on edge.
Soon, when it was clear that the meeting was rapidly falling apart, I said, “This is why I am SO quitting as soon as I can.”
Translation: If that’s how you’re going to be, I’m leaving.
If there’s one skill this Choleric needs to learn it’s how to execute a well-timed shutting up before ill-advised words come flying out of her mouth!
Simply pushing pause could have kept me from making a difficult situation far worse than necessary.
Faux-Pas #4: Failure to Pray and Ponder
I am blessed to teach at a Christian school. The colleagues with whom I met are women of the Word who love Jesus and share Him with their students.
But I dashed into the meeting and dove right in, not even stopping to pray...
- for the meeting.
- for each woman present.
- for our students.
- for awareness of God’s presence.
- for responsiveness to the Holy Spirit’s leading.
Failing to take the time to focus on the One who is the central focus of our lives and teaching, the results were predictable.
The meeting narrowed to a me-ting
Self called the shots.
Had I taken the time to pray, I would have been prepared to ponder:
- Why did she say that? Let me ask a clarifying question…
- How is she feeling right now? Let’s focus on feelings before finding solutions…
- What is the underlying issue, here? Let me try to understand better…
A Selfishness Switch-er-oo
I love how Karen weaves practical application throughout LET. IT. GO. At the end of Chapter 3 is a multi-page “Selfishness Switch-er-oo” chart showing how we can use God’s truths to find-and-replace our own sometimes-selfish lines of thinking.
For example:
- “What about my rights?” (Philippians 2:5-7)
- “If I don’t look out for myself, who will?” (Luke 12:6-7)
- “But what about what I want?” (Ephesians 5:10)
Your Turn:
- How are your knee-jerk reactions, especially when it comes to control issues?
- How might one of your key relationships be different if you paused before proclaiming?
- How might your attitude change with even 5 more minutes per day of praying and pondering?
- Anything else on your heart!
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